Games The Vending Machine of the Universe

[Soul]

You get Nutmeg

Inserts a Wisdens Almanack

You get a big bag of confetti!
[inserts a six- to eight-week waiting period]

 

[SinisterKid]

Gets anti cramp ointment

Inserts a rugby ball

 

[epic]

Gets a rampaging team of rugby players, bulldozing everything into a pancake.

Inserts pancake with honey syrup.

 

[Soul]

Gets a rampaging team of rugby players, bulldozing everything into a pancake.

Inserts pancake with honey syrup.

You get a bunny with a pancake on its head.
[inserts Season 5 of Grey's Anatomy]

 

[epic]

Gets shit

Inserts Rick from Rick and Morty

 

[SinisterKid]

Gets Jay and Silent Bob

Inserts a steering wheel

 

[pain in my heart]

Gets a vintage 1979 ford mustang

inserts a bag of sour patch kids

 

[SinisterKid]

Gets a sewing kit

Inserts a sweaty jockstrap.

 

[jgm63]

Gets enlightenment
Inserts a gold robot brooch

 

[Soul]

Gets enlightenment
Inserts a gold robot brooch

You get a gold robot.
[inserts Myanmar]

 

[jgm63]

Gets a packet of chewing gum
Inserts a grand piano

 

[Plankter]

Gets a dead pianist
Inserts serotonin

 

[coma-baby]

Gets clean dishes.
Inserts empty soup can.

 

[notjustyetagain]

*gets cosmic vending machine*
*inserts original cosmic vending machine*

 

[coma-baby]

Gets attempt at meta joke.
Inserts a dead horse.

 

[snorli]

Gets a beating
Inserts mud

 

[coma-baby]

Gets a pie.
Inserts Warhead (candy)

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Gets a time machine

Inserts a bar of soap

 

[snorli]

gets a nice bath

inserts ramen

 

[woxihuanni]

Gets flying spaghetti monster.

Inserts a stubborn goat.

 

[pain in my heart]

Gets a barrel of chèvre

Inserts a chess piece

 

[woxihuanni]

Gets Alice.

Inserts a pebble eroded to the shape of a fish.

 

[pain in my heart]

Gets a giant taiyaki

Inserts a shoe cabinet

 

[woxihuanni]

Gets seven league boots.

Inserts some terrible tiramisu.

 

[Soul]

Gets seven league boots.

Inserts some terrible tiramisu.

You get a bistro.
[inserts a carton of milk]

 

[woxihuanni]

You get a tiger sniffing around.

Inserts a marble, red with white polka dots.

 

[kkatt]

Gets a virtual face slap

Inserts some of that fake plastic rice

 

[NotForThisWorld]

You get a bowl of rice.

Inserts some coca cola..

 

[woxihuanni]

You get a tummy ache.

Inserts a toolbox.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

(Isn't this a legit SCP?)
The machine spits out a sparkly Allen (L-N?) key and a big book that is made of all of Ikea's instructions ever existed.

Inserting a pissed off midget I kidnapped some hours earlier.