Venting The urge to die increases dramatically whenever my birthday comes around.

[CrazyDiamond04]

I hate my birthday with a burning passion. The only purpose it serves is to be a scathing reminder of my failures and to show that the future looks increasingly bleak. I almost want to just CTB before the day comes around because of how much it disgusts me. I wish that I could forget about it entirely.

 

[sserafim]

Same, I actually joined this site around my birthday because I was planning to ctb then. Now, it's become my 25th. I honestly see nothing to celebrate about birthdays, they're just another reminder of the inevitable passage of time. Time flows forward against everyone's will, no one can control or stop it. Time is like an ever-flowing river with no end

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Same, I actually joined this site around my birthday because I was planning to ctb then. Now, it's become my 25th. I honestly see nothing to celebrate about birthdays, they're just another reminder of the inevitable passage of time. Time flows forward against everyone's will, no one can control or stop it. Time is like an ever-flowing river with no end

25th? Wow, I'm turning 20 and I can't imagine being 25. It feels like my "childhood" is dead at this point. It was dead before but now I really feel it. I don't think I'll last to 25 but who knows.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I quit my job and tried to ctb during my birthday last month. I'm not entirely sure why our birthdays feel so significant. I think it's as sserafim said, it's a reminder that you're getting older and opportunities you used to have are passed. That your childhood is over, whether you had one or not. That now you get to continue another year in sorrow, just as you have been up to this point.

When you get old your birthday isn't celebrated with a cake and candles and gifts either. You don't associate it as a happy day like you did as a kid (at least, hopefully, it was a happy day as a kid). Now it's like watching the clock slowly turn, and realizing yet another year of dissatisfaction has passed.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

Most suicide are committed by people around the time their birthday hits and this is true for death too i.e the closer to your birthday you are, the more likely you are to die.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I quit my job and tried to ctb during my birthday last month. I'm not entirely sure why our birthdays feel so significant. I think it's as sserafim said, it's a reminder that you're getting older and opportunities you used to have are passed. That your childhood is over, whether you had one or not. That now you get to continue another year in sorrow, just as you have been up to this point.

When you get old your birthday isn't celebrated with a cake and candles and gifts either. You don't associate it as a happy day like you did as a kid (at least, hopefully, it was a happy day as a kid). Now it's like watching the clock slowly turn, and realizing yet another year of dissatisfaction has passed.

Yes, birthdays are an occasion of disappointment. There is no joy to be found anymore. Life simply becomes worse as time continues.

 

[sserafim]

25th? Wow, I'm turning 20 and I can't imagine being 25. It feels like my "childhood" is dead at this point. It was dead before but now I really feel it. I don't think I'll last to 25 but who knows.

Yeah, I'm 23 right now but I didn't want to live past 18. I never wanted to grow up or become an adult, but sadly I was forced to due to the passage of time. My maximum exit point is 25, I don't want to live behind that. I feel like I'm meant to die young

 

[Silent Raindrops]

Sadly, I'll be 54 tomorrow, and even more sadly, I'm still alive.

 

[Final_Choice]

Same, it feels like I'm getting older but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't have lived this long and that something has fundamentally gone wrong which led me to live for some reason even though I shouldn't have. Hopefully I only have to live through one more birthday before I go.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Same, it feels like I'm getting older but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't have lived this long and that something has fundamentally gone wrong which led me to live for some reason even though I shouldn't have. Hopefully I only have to live through one more birthday before I go.

I get what you mean. I don't think I should be alive right now either.