The saddest thing about this website

[restlesseyes]

I feel like there are so many great and helpful people on these forums and it's so sad when you reading all the messages they sent same as when you are talking to somebody on here and then realized they CTB it just breaks my heart….. clicking on there profile and seeing they haven't been active in few weeks , months or years but I know they are in a better place so that helps and that's what they wanted , I want it to so I understand , one thing these forums have motivated me to do is try and help as many people before I go if anybody wants to talk please PM

 

[ForeverCaHa]

I know what you mean. It's eery to stumble across a profile which went silent years ago, and knowing the likely reason.

I've interacted with a lot of great people here, and I at least hope that our conversations have helped them feel calmer on the more stressful days. It's a weird mental gymnastics situation where my heart wants to help them decide against CTB (of course I don't say this to them as I understand this is 100% their choice and some random dude on the internet isn't going to change that), but then being convinced of the inevitability and, I guess, the necessity of my own CTB. Even though I know these two thoughts contradict each other, I imagine quite a few people here experience a similar thing.

 

[rs929]

In my experience, when I'm in remission I don't want to visit this site anymore.(then I relapse and come back)
So I wouldn't assume that inactive people have CTBed. I suspect the majority of them just got better and gave life another chance

 

[Haematemesis]

it's like the life itself. you get to know people whom you will cease to see one day. either because they're gone or they recovered.

 

[waistcoat]

it does hurt to see this, but i think we all understand it

 

[maniac116]

I feel like there are so many great and helpful people on these forums and it's so sad when you reading all the messages they sent same as when you are talking to somebody on here and then realized they CTB it just breaks my heart….. clicking on there profile and seeing they haven't been active in few weeks , months or years but I know they are in a better place so that helps and that's what they wanted , I want it to so I understand , one thing these forums have motivated me to do is try and help as many people before I go if anybody wants to talk please PM

Me too. It rips my heart out too.
It made it very hard for me to consider ctb

 

[Crematoryy]

I feel like there are so many great and helpful people on these forums and it's so sad when you reading all the messages they sent same as when you are talking to somebody on here and then realized they CTB it just breaks my heart….. clicking on there profile and seeing they haven't been active in few weeks , months or years but I know they are in a better place so that helps and that's what they wanted , I want it to so I understand , one thing these forums have motivated me to do is try and help as many people before I go if anybody wants to talk please PM

I was talking to @Queermelancoly and @hikikomorizombie and they announced their CTB before they disappeared. Their suicide was not in vain, because it changed me and made me conceive of death as a real possibility in every day.

Special thanks to Queer. We had a lot of fun on this forum

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

In my experience, when I'm in remission I don't want to visit this site anymore.(then I relapse and come back)
So I wouldn't assume that inactive people have CTBed. I suspect the majority of them just got better and gave life another chance

Yeah I didn't post here for about six months but that's because my life was going better for a while. Now it's back to being shit so here I am again lol

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I feel like there are so many great and helpful people on these forums and it's so sad when you reading all the messages they sent same as when you are talking to somebody on here and then realized they CTB it just breaks my heart….. clicking on there profile and seeing they haven't been active in few weeks , months or years but I know they are in a better place so that helps and that's what they wanted , I want it to so I understand , one thing these forums have motivated me to do is try and help as many people before I go if anybody wants to talk please PM

I hear you. most of the best authored threads are by those who are no longer here, I relate to the reaction of realizing the date, over and over. the best we can do while here for whatever reasons is be kind to each other, try not to spread fearmongering or blatant misinformation, and do our best to be respectful of others, even if we all don't always see eye to eye. sending love to you op.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

This website makes me pretty happy to be honest. It's something we accept here, the fact that some of us can't get better, the harsh reality with no bullshit to cover it. I hate humans even more because of it being the truth and I'm happy because it pushes me forward to my goal of getting the fuck out of here.

 

[Worndown]

If you approach this from the perspective that everyone here has thought about their early demise, knowing some succeed is easier to accept.
Yes, all of these stories are heartbreaking. The good part is that they shared something we miss once they were gone. They touched us and hopefully, we touched them. You really cannot ask for more.

 

[kimcoffee_]

I like to think its a good thing they got to make a choice, plus i think (Hope) a lot of them or in recovery now

 

[diviosd]

lost many incredible friends. It is really sad to think that almost none of the connections you make on here will be permanent, or long-term.

 

[Csmith8827]

I feel like there are so many great and helpful people on these forums and it's so sad when you reading all the messages they sent same as when you are talking to somebody on here and then realized they CTB it just breaks my heart….. clicking on there profile and seeing they haven't been active in few weeks , months or years but I know they are in a better place so that helps and that's what they wanted , I want it to so I understand , one thing these forums have motivated me to do is try and help as many people before I go if anybody wants to talk please PM

Someone posted a thread saying something like this a while back. Before you were here I believe. I think it was about "goodbye posts..." etc. etc...

Honestly it's not sad. I see it as a good thing, celebratory even. Worthy of celebration. They succeeded, they CTB. Which is actually a really good thing. Because 9 times out of 10 if someone is lurking around or active on this website there life situation isn't good anyways, and they're just seeking a way out or escape from that situation.

So I'm not sad at all. I'm happy that they accomplished there goal and GTFO of this bullshit world. I wish I could do the same...

 

[SmilingNoMore]

Reading about all the abuse and suffering members have gone through and still are, and since early ages. Every goodbye is also sad, a story in itself, but a chosen ending to what can no longer be endured. It's bittersweet seeing every person go, and a reminder that we joined mainly for this very same reason.

 

[SomePeacePlease]

I feel like there are so many great and helpful people on these forums and it's so sad when you reading all the messages they sent same as when you are talking to somebody on here and then realized they CTB it just breaks my heart….. clicking on there profile and seeing they haven't been active in few weeks , months or years but I know they are in a better place so that helps and that's what they wanted , I want it to so I understand , one thing these forums have motivated me to do is try and help as many people before I go if anybody wants to talk please PM

Very well written, and it's how I feel too. It's sad to see nice and helpful people disappear.
I have the same thoughts. Trying to be nice, at least on my good days. Maybe see if I can be of help for as many as possible before I ctb.
I told both the clinic and my parents, that treatment I've been in since September was the last thing I'd try(after 20 years of trying everything), before finally finding my peace. They've basically said that my MDD and CPTSD is so complicated, paired up with opioid and benzo, that talk therapy is all they can offer, so just looking for a nearby date now.
Meanwhile I hope to be of some help with whatever I can offer.

I appreciate you all.