there is no such a thing as empathy

[vinicuit]

i've studying too much affect theory, and these last days i realised that empathy and nothing are the same fucking thing

people will never be able to understand my pain, they will never be able to wear the same shoes as me. when i tell people i'm depressed (mostly people from outside this forum), what they process is the abstract idea that they have of depression, which is compleatly different from my depression. they may try to understand how this condition of depression makes me want do ctb, but this only creates a barrier between us: they realise that no empathy is enough to understand how i feel, and that pushes them away from me

people only take you serious after you actually attempt because before that, they can't materialise how does it feels to be depressed at this point, so for them, you wouldn't actually do it. and after your attempt, they might understand what is losing someone for this depression; they understand suicidal grief, but still never understanding you

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Sadly very true and these are quite a few of the reasons I makes me want to CTB. It's the hopeless paradox many of us find themselves in. To be fair I haven't really told anyone from outside this forum or outside a mental health institution anymore since years because I haven't really encountered anyone that I was close enough to begin with to feel comfortable sharing any of it. But even before when I was just semi depressed it never helped to tell anyone and almost every time I did I eventually regretted doing so afterwards because it pushed them away, as you said.