I think I'm going to attempt tonight

[CookedRamen]

I don't know if it'll be successful. I think it's listed under the non methods. But worst case I sleep for a long time.
I plan on taking about 600mg of Hydroxazine HCL mixed with about 6-8 shots of vodka and maybe some weed if I'm still conscious.

I'd rather not be talked out of this. As of posting this I've already started.

I feel happy and I feel sad. I don't think I'll be successful, but if I fail I'll almost certainly miss work tomorrow and get fired (I'm on my final notice), which will push me to make a proper serious attempt.
I wanted to share the song I'm listening to because, well I don't know why. Just the thought of someone else enjoying it with me is nice.
Another Love - Tom Odell

I'm just tired. And this forum has been so helpful for me. Being able to vent without people telling me it gets better or that I shouldn't do it or that I'm being selfish. So many people have asked me why I want to die. I don't have a good enough answer. I'm diagnosed with BPD and for anyone that has experienced severe mood swings or has bpd or cptsd, you probably know the hell that goes on in my head. Anyways. Thanks for reading.
I'm sending lots of love and hugs to everyone that needs it.

While I'm here, shoutout to my favorite music artists: convolk and brakence.

 

[ipmanwc0]

Hey, I don't like non methods because you risk not dying but also making your life worse. Good luck

 

[Jadeith]

Whatever patch you choose, wish you painless and peaceful journey.
And yes, "Another love" is nice to listen to.

 

[(UN)COMMON SENSE]

high doses are used for anxiety

 

[CookedRamen]

high doses are used for anxiety

I hear you, I have a heart condition and even 50mg messes with my heart. 50 is also usually enough to make me extremely tired. I've taken 100mg so far. I might toss in some random anti depressents or mood stabalizers. I've been on nearly every single one and have leftovers.

Also high doses are not used for anxiety... not sure where you're getting that. the prescribed dose for anxiety is 50-100mg no more then 4 times per day. And I am prescribed 25mg tablets.
I'm at 300mg but I'm just so tired. Guess this will probably not kill me. Maybe it'll just be a nice long nap. That's ok

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I would avoid all the drama and trauma this will likely cause and wait until I felt truly sure and ready. Then, I'd use a viable method, but that's me.

 

[CookedRamen]

I would avoid all the drama and trauma this will likely cause and wait until I felt truly sure and ready. Then, I'd use a viable method, but that's me.

This is completely valid. I'm sorry for posting about my non method. Next time I won't bother.

Like many people I don't try want to die. Just escape this suffering. I'm truly sorry that I don't have the resources or commitment to try a real method. Your message reads as passive aggressive and I want you to know that it doesn't upset me. I say this because I imagine that was the intent. To illicit a response of anger. Well all you get is this message. Feel free to interpret it as anger if that feels good to you. I'm too tired to be angry right now. But it doesnt even matter.

Have a good rest of your day or night. I hope you can resolve your resentment towards people like me because it's really not good to carry around undue anger like that.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

This is completely valid. I'm sorry for posting about my non method. Next time I won't bother.

Like many people I don't try want to die. Just escape this suffering. I'm truly sorry that I don't have the resources or commitment to try a real method. Your message reads as passive aggressive and I want you to know that it doesn't upset me. I say this because I imagine that was the intent. To illicit a response of anger. Well all you get is this message. Feel free to interpret it as anger if that feels good to you. I'm too tired to be angry right now. But it doesnt even matter.

Have a good rest of your day or night. I hope you can resolve your resentment towards people like me because it's really not good to carry around undue anger like that.

I did not intend to illicit anything. I said what I would do, and it's what I will do. Everything except love will fall away & be left behind .

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering.