The psychiatric system is a desaster.

[KiraLittleOwl]

So, there was a guy in my ward who was there for the 12th time and he claimed that he tried to complain and they never got back at him. Of course, the problem might be that he was put into the ward for almost a dozen times at this point, but the problem is that while it is hard to put up with all that was happening there after you've just tried to ctb the reality of our society is that everything that is going on in there is normal, even my mother would claim that "But nurses have to be tough and distance themselves" (one of the nurses told me people are going to rape me because of my longer hair) and that "Doctors have so much work to do" (i mean out of 5 of my doctors 3 went on vacation a few days after meeting me) and all that stuff.

So you can complain, but noone is going to care. It's normal, it's the way it is supposed to be. Just don't get anywear near psychiatry if you're living in Russia.

Did they push haloperidol on you? I heard they like to use this horrible drug in Russia.

 

[FaceOfSilence]

Did they push haloperidol on you? I heard they like to use this horrible drug in Russia.

No, thankfully, on me, they did not, they just gave me some bullshit meds that never worked in the first place but i guess they were satisfied with the results because i was just repeating how great i am feeling just so they would leave me alone. But there was a guy with a southern blood and he was getting into quarrels with people and one day he randomly got sort of mad at the doctor.

They turned him into a zombie 2 days later, he would just shamble across the hall without saying a word for hours. It was chilling.

 

[Final Escape]

These stories are enlightening, and just confirm that psychiatry is an oppressive institution like this one guy said who is still a practicing doctor but refuses to prescribe meds. I think he now helps people come off the drugs.

 

[Boochky]

No, thankfully, on me, they did not, they just gave me some bullshit meds that never worked in the first place but i guess they were satisfied with the results because i was just repeating how great i am feeling just so they would leave me alone. But there was a guy with a southern blood and he was getting into quarrels with people and one day he randomly got sort of mad at the doctor.

They turned him into a zombie 2 days later, he would just shamble across the hall without saying a word for hours. It was chilling.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Last time I was in the hospital, I was manic. I just buzzed around taking care of people. Everyone there was cool. Some of the staff was great and there were some nasty nurses.

I really wish I could work in mental health and just be someone who genuinely cares. It's hard not to have meaningful work.

I'm going to go on disability and adjust my meds. I'm losing my temporary job in a month. I need to get better before I look for another one.

There's no good doctors in town so my psychiatrist is from New York. We do video visits. I just had one. He said he can't guarantee he can write me out but said my primary care doctor can put me on disability and they are approved by state of CA. I made an appointment for that.

Tending all these details is so difficult when I'm not well. I don't know why sick people have to fend for themselves.

I'm really trying to avoid death and do all I can to get better. At least I'll know I tried.

 

[Final Escape]

Psychiatric system is part of legal system and as such reflects how general public feels. People don't believe in your right to commit suicide and believe in their right to try prevent you from it by confinement and a bunch of motivational cheer up talk.

What kind of help were you looking for - physical or mental?

I have to disagree with you that the general public wants to force you to stay alive when u are in tremendous unresolvable pain wether physical or psychiatric. This is the wishes of the state not the desire of most people. Most people do not want this oppressive system. Most friends I talk to are actually pretty understanding and validate my feelings toward suicide even if they don't want me to. They don't freak out and try to get me committed.

 

[Redt2go]

No, thankfully, on me, they did not, they just gave me some bullshit meds that never worked in the first place but i guess they were satisfied with the results because i was just repeating how great i am feeling just so they would leave me alone. But there was a guy with a southern blood and he was getting into quarrels with people and one day he randomly got sort of mad at the doctor.

They turned him into a zombie 2 days later, he would just shamble across the hall without saying a word for hours. It was chilling.

Terrifying

 

[FaceOfSilence]

I really wish I could work in mental health and just be someone who genuinely cares. It's hard not to have meaningful work.

Yeah, i was thinking about that, but then there is something that sounds off to me. So, education to become a therapist/psychiatrist is 8 years. Eight years of stressful studying, tests, no money (unless you also part-time), and at least around here also being treated like garbage by profs and whatnot.

And it's just...

Even the young doctors i've met and tried talking to, you can see in their eyes that they have given up. 8 years of med university chews them up and blerghs out in the state where most of them don't care anymore.

And that's the problem, i can't judge other countries but in Russia noone cares: Doctors at the ward don't care and leave you alone as soon as they can, nurses don't care and play their little power fantasy with patients, then after i was released i came for the meds recipe and they told me that i didn't exist and never was at the ward (neither me nor the place where you get the recipe got any papers about my time in the ward), then i went to the therapist and you just could see from the way he talked and looked at the time that he was in it to get paid his sweet 60$/hr and then i also went to a private psychiatrist who talked to me for 15 minutes, told me "Oh it's super easy to kill yourself, anyone can do it" (translated from Russian but pretty verbatim) and prescribed me new meds which was basically a stomach pain reliever that costs less in its weight than bread.

 

[Boochky]

I don't know how it works in Russia, but in the US, there are mental health techs. They're paraprofessionals, like hospital camp counselors. You don't make money but I have free rent. I don't need that much.

Russia sounds so depressing. Not that the us isn't these days, but still.

 

[Redt2go]

I don't know how it works in Russia, but in the US, there are mental health techs. They're paraprofessionals, like hospital camp counselors. You don't make money but I have free rent. I don't need that much.

Russia sounds so depressing. Not that the us isn't these days, but still.

Russia sounds depressing to me only bc it's cold as shit

 

[FaceOfSilence]

Russia sounds depressing to me only bc it's cold as shit

The worst part it that it's not even fucking cold, it's just terrible, backwards and everyone is poor and sick. It's raining all February almost everyday, so much for russian winter.

I don't know how it works in Russia, but in the US, there are mental health techs. They're paraprofessionals, like hospital camp counselors. You don't make money but I have free rent. I don't need that much.

Russia sounds so depressing. Not that the us isn't these days, but still.

You know i kinda wanted to undergo training and volunteer as a crisis listener but there is no such thing around here, even international NGOs like Befrienders don't work with this country. The only crisis hotline i've found is the national emergency service and i would never even consider calling them if i didn't want a bunch of policemen put me into a psych ward 10 minutes later.

 

[Redt2go]

The worst part it that it's not even fucking cold, it's just terrible, backwards and everyone is poor and sick. It's raining all February almost everyday, so much for russian winter.

Uh oh global warming lolol but not really lol

 

[Rollo]

I have to disagree with you that the general public wants to force you to stay alive when u are in tremendous unresolvable pain wether physical or psychiatric. This is the wishes of the state not the desire of most people. Most people do not want this oppressive system. Most friends I talk to are actually pretty understanding and validate my feelings toward suicide even if they don't want me to. They don't freak out and try to get me committed.

These are your friends though so naturally they will be aware and understanding of your situation. Actually I just googled and majority of public in US seem to support euthanasia. Still as far as involuntary commitment goes the question is simply - should the state allow people to suicide at will? I don't see any polls on this subject but many people if they see a jumper - they will try to prevent him from jumping by physically interfering or calling the cops. Some cause they care, some cause they believe suicide is sinful or is violation of public order etc. And that's the attitude that forms the basis of involuntary commitment system the way I see it.

 

[Final Escape]

These are your friends though so naturally they will be aware and understanding of your situation. Actually I just googled and majority of public in US seem to support euthanasia. Still as far as involuntary commitment goes the question is simply - should the state allow people to suicide at will? I don't see any polls on this subject but many people if they see a jumper - they will try to prevent him from jumping by physically interfering or calling the cops. Some cause they care, some cause they believe suicide is sinful or is violation of public order etc. And that's the attitude that forms the basis of involuntary commitment system the way I see it.

The state has no business being involved in suicide, charity, medicine. I could go on endlessly on how many areas of life are controlled by the state and it's not legitimate. I get what you're saying though.

 

[Rollo]

Russia sounds depressing to me only bc it's cold as shit

Iceland is cold as shit. Their warmest summer month average high is 14C. Yet I recently saw a youtube channel of a girl who moved there from US with her husband and is quite happy. Russia still has summer and that's a big deal. Russia is big too. Siberia is cold as shit in winter. Moscow has roughly the same climate as any city in Canada. Then you have Southern Russia, where I live. Climate in my city is more or less same as NY, a bit warmer even.

The worst part it that it's not even fucking cold, it's just terrible, backwards and everyone is poor and sick. It's raining all February almost everyday, so much for russian winter.

Well if it was raining not snowing in February then you're probably living in South and it's indeed not all that cold here. Although I would rather it be snowing. Still the pavement is free from snow and ice - a big plus compared to the rest of Russia.

 

[FaceOfSilence]

Well if it was raining not snowing in February then you're probably living in South and it's indeed not all that cold here. Although I would rather it be snowing. Still the pavement is free from snow and ice - a big plus compared to the rest of Russia.

Saint-Petersburg aka "The Northern Capital" on the Finnish border. Not really south, no.

 

[Redt2go]

@Rollo

That's small coat weather for me![/QUOTE]

 

[Edrudd]

These retards don't help anybody. They gave me erectyle disfunction with 18 years old. I'm fucked now. I wasn't suicidal befor but now they took my cock away from me wtf

 

[Edrudd]

I need penile injections with 18 years old because off schiprhenic meds and I'm not even bipolar

 

[RainAndSadness]

Thanks for sharing your stories. I'm glad people engage in this thread. It's important to raise awareness about the psychiatric system and what it means exactly when they try to "help" us.

I just wanted to add something here... I've had an appointment at a major US teaching hospital. It is a common practice for psychiatrists and medical services to reject suicidal patients who are deemed "non-compliant." Because these patients are seen as a liability risk and threaten department standings nationally. But the general public, not scientists or physicians themselves, swallow the mental health professionalism mirage whole despite the obvious populational signs that the system is not working. Regardless the publications to this effect, most people still can't be swayed in their religion-like faith in "mental health."

Yeah, I feel like that's how people see me. I know people whose therapists don't want to help them and refuse to prescribe helpful medicine. They don't take them seriously at all. And I know people who were in psych wards for various reasons in the past and they got mistreated. I'm very worried because I'm trans and that's probably gonna be very difficult when I'm in such a facility.

Yeah googling for ideas is rich. Can you me a taste of what you're talking about? What's your biggest problem?

I'm not even sure. I think my biggest problem right now is my gender dysphoria actually. It's really hard to find doctors who have some experience with trans-topics and therefore can treat me accordingly. They tried to find some, when I had my appointment a few days ago. But there are none in my location. I live in a rural area and trans people basically don't exist here. None of the doctors I talked to, with the exception of my therapist, talked to trans-people. Most doctors have no clue about this subject and are totally unaware of our struggles. My endocrinologist, who is responsible for my transition, doesn't understand what he's doing, he simply doesn't have experience with people like me, therefore it's rather experimental, I guess. And my primary care doctor mistook me being trans with me being borderline because the symptoms are very similar. He said my desire for surgery is 'self-mutilation' because he put it on the same level with my need to self-harm. He simply doesn't understand the positive implications of surgery and why we need it. I don't even deny being borderline, that's something I have to get checked for sure because the description technically applies to me, especially when I feel like I'm on fire internally. I would explain some things. But it doesn't mean I'm not trans because the symptoms overlap. That's why I need competent doctors, someone who takes all aspects into considerations so I don't end up with a bullshit diagnosis or wrong treatment. But I also have to work through my past. I think the bullying back in school had a severe impact on my life and it's most-likely the reason why I suffer from strong social anxiety. I also think my parents divorcing very early, when I still was young and fighting for the next 10 years about custody wasn't probably a very healthy event in my life either. So there are several layers in my situation. The past, which surely affected me and the current situation with my gender dysphoria. I suffer from depression. And there is also my poverty. Perfect conditions for social isolation and a very unhappy life in general. And most doctors simply don't want to get involved. They said I need someone with expertise, someone who has experience, someone who knows how to help me and treat me properly but there is none. I knew there isn't anybody that can help me but at least my suspicions got confirmed now, which gives me some peace at least.

 

[Sirroscoe]

Psychiatry ruined my life ultimately. I wasn't as screwed up as I thought at the time honestly. I was 16 and left school a year early only going in for my exams. After my gp and antidepressants either doing nothing or giving me terrible side effects, I was referred to the crisis team and a psychiatrist (NHS, uk)

He diagnosed me as bipolar at the innocent age of 16. I was rather naive, and didn't know much about mental health but I did raise my concern that I never really feel manic, especially not the durations typical with bipolar. My struggle was a daily fog of regret, emotions, anxiety and personal relationship issues. Otherwise known as borderline personality, fuck even adhd predominantly inattentive would have been a better fit. He diagnosed me in 20 minutes and prescribed quitiapine. I tried several other atypical antipsychotics but I was on quitiapine for the longest, a couple years.

Imagine my dismay when they made me a zombie and made my issues worse, and creating more. I'm 22 now and been off anti psychotic for nearly 18 months and I still don't feel like I used to. The lethargy is insane, and nothing is rewarding. I'm now diagnosed bpd and adhd pi, and so far methylphenidate hasn't alleviated my dopamine issues thanks to the anti psychotic. Hoping elvanse or dexedrine might, but the NHS is a nightmare to navigate.

Tldr; was given anti psychotics for years at high dosages, made me worse and increased suicidal ideation. Complete misdiagnosed and anti psychotics were never going to do anything for me. What I needed was DBT therapy, psychotherapy etc.

 

[Psilo]

But when I started to talk about being suicidal, I just mentioned it briefly, they suddenly started to listen very closely. They told me, if I feel suicidal and I have thoughts about ending my life, they will have to keep me there and hospitalize me. I changed my story very quickly because having strangers taking away my most basic fundamental rights is a nightmare and I don't want. But that's not even the point. The point is: they literally just told me that they have no idea how to help me but they wanted to keep me alive. Imagine that for one second. This, right there, sums up all problems in the psychiatric system.

I had a familiar situation myself, you talk, you find confidence to share private thoughts, you say that ctb is the way you'll like to go. They tell you they will lock you up in a "facility", because they can't figure out anything else. Completely worthless, they'll make you feel even worse, well thats how I felt. I ran out of the hospital, that day I'll remember, I just needed a long walk home to cool down.

Yup its frightening when someone tells you, you'll have to be "hospitalized". Eventually I was after attempted ctb and was fed with "special" candies that made me sick during lunch time. And they MAKE sure you swallow.

 

[Rollo]

I'm not even sure. I think my biggest problem right now is my gender dysphoria actually. It's really hard to find doctors who have some experience with trans-topics and therefore can treat me accordingly. They tried to find some, when I had my appointment a few days ago. But there are none in my location. I live in a rural area and trans people basically don't exist here. None of the doctors I talked to, with the exception of my therapist, talked to trans-people. Most doctors have no clue about this subject and are totally unaware of our struggles. My endocrinologist, who is responsible for my transition, doesn't understand what he's doing, he simply doesn't have experience with people like me, therefore it's rather experimental, I guess. And my primary care doctor mistook me being trans with me being borderline because the symptoms are very similar. He said my desire for surgery is 'self-mutilation' because he put it on the same level with my need to self-harm. He simply doesn't understand the positive implications of surgery and why we need it. I don't even deny being borderline, that's something I have to get checked for sure because the description technically applies to me, especially when I feel like I'm on fire internally. I would explain some things. But it doesn't mean I'm not trans because the symptoms overlap. That's why I need competent doctors, someone who takes all aspects into considerations so I don't end up with a bullshit diagnosis or wrong treatment. But I also have to work through my past. I think the bullying back in school had a severe impact on my life and it's most-likely the reason why I suffer from strong social anxiety. I also think my parents divorcing very early, when I still was young and fighting for the next 10 years about custody wasn't probably a very healthy event in my life either. So there are several layers in my situation. The past, which surely affected me and the current situation with my gender dysphoria. I suffer from depression. And there is also my poverty. Perfect conditions for social isolation and a very unhappy life in general. And most doctors simply don't want to get involved. They said I need someone with expertise, someone who has experience, someone who knows how to help me and treat me properly but there is none. I knew there isn't anybody that can help me but at least my suspicions got confirmed now, which gives me some peace at least.

So if I'm understanding correctly you're pre-op trans woman? It's entirely possible bullying in school and your parents fighting over custody contributed to your mental deterioration and social anxiety. Then again a bunch of other stuff could have contributed as well, most notably your family situation in general. It may be insightful and interesting for you to know what exactly influenced it all but in terms of looking for other-than-suicide solution it don't really matter how you got to this place. When and if you get better such an understanding will come naturally but the way I see it this understanding is not necessary for you to work on solution.

I don't believe depression can be addressed on it's own cause depression is but a symptom of other mental and life problems. Poverty ofcourse can contribute to your depression but a doc can't improve your financial situation. Although maybe you're ashamed of being poor and that's something that can be addressed.

Except for gender dysforia, out of everything you listed social anxiety is the most obvious place to start. Is it only social anxiety? Do you have problem with other anxieties like health anxiety? How exactly your SA manifests?

 

[cornflowerblue]

So if I'm understanding correctly you're pre-op trans woman? It's entirely possible bullying in school and your parents fighting over custody contributed to your mental deterioration and social anxiety. Then again a bunch of other stuff could have contributed as well, most notably your family situation in general. It may be insightful and interesting for you to know what exactly influenced it all but in terms of looking for other-than-suicide solution it don't really matter how you got to this place. When and if you get better such an understanding will come naturally but the way I see it this understanding is not necessary for you to work on solution.

I don't believe depression can be addressed on it's own cause depression is but a symptom of other mental and life problems. Poverty ofcourse can contribute to your depression but a doc can't improve your financial situation. Although maybe you're ashamed of being poor and that's something that can be addressed.

Out of everyting you listed social anxiety is the most obvious place to start. Is it only social anxiety? Do you have problem with other anxieties like health anxiety? How exactly your SA manifests?

There's also a lot of overlap with trans and aspergers. Aspergers can look like or come with social anxiety.

 

[RainAndSadness]

So if I'm understanding correctly you're pre-op trans woman? It's entirely possible bullying in school and your parents fighting over custody contributed to your mental deterioration and social anxiety. Then again a bunch of other stuff could have contributed as well, most notably your family situation in general. It may be insightful and interesting for you to know what exactly influenced it all but in terms of looking for other-than-suicide solution it don't really matter how you got to this place. When and if you get better such an understanding will come naturally but the way I see it this understanding is not necessary for you to work on solution.

I don't believe depression can be addressed on it's own cause depression is but a symptom of other mental and life problems. Poverty ofcourse can contribute to your depression but a doc can't improve your financial situation. Although maybe you're ashamed of being poor and that's something that can be addressed.

Except for gender dysforia, out of everything you listed social anxiety is the most obvious place to start. Is it only social anxiety? Do you have problem with other anxieties like health anxiety? How exactly your SA manifests?

Exactly. I started my transition 2 years ago and I'll probably have my surgery in the upcoming years. I have other projects going right now, for example, my voice is my largest concern currently because it's essential for passing. Every time I open my mouth, I basically give away my trans-background and that's usually not desired. It creates unnecessary obstacles. But there is a lot of work to do anyway, I personally think I'm far away from passing as a regular woman and it's the main reason why I want to ctb. This life isn't worth it. Being trans isn't temporary. And gender dysphoria will always exists in some form. And it's even worse when there are no professionals around that are familiar with this subject. 2 years of transition seem like a long time but I'm still at the start, really. I'm depending on my health insurance a lot when it comes to certain procedures and it's gonna be rough.

I always was very shy and introverted but I think the bullying probably amplified that. It's very difficult for me to trust people and I'd rather be alone. Which also creates social isolation and loneliness. But being surrounded by people creates a lot of stress. I feel discomfort and I'm usually nervous and very anxious because I have no clue how to interact with people in the first place. It's a nightmare and I only leave the house for appointments. And transitioning made it even worse. Before I started my transition, I was just a regular dude for people. They didn't spend too much time thinking about me, when they saw me on the streets. But now, being visibly trans and therefore being judged simply for looking different, it's a whole different struggle. As I said before, I don't really pass as a woman and people probably view me as something between the genders. It's weird but it doesn't feel good. I'm happy about transitioning because it makes it easier for me to accept myself somehow but at the same time it has many severe social implications. I'm lucky enough to be in a somewhat supportive family, I can't even fathom how bad it must be if even the closest family members reject and abandon you. I don't have any friends but at least some family members show support.

The doctor recently said all problems are temporary and therefore suicide is no option, period. But none of my problems really are temporary. They're all somehow connected to each other and addressing these issues seems impossible to me. Especially my gender dysphoria is gonna be there for the rest of my life and I don't think a life in a body that is inherently repulsive to you will ever be enjoyable. It's not just about surviving, although that's what it feels like when you live in poverty. It's about having a good life and I can't see that happening in the near future.

And regarding your question, I'm not familiar with any other anxieties besides my social anxiety. But I'm not sure.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Exactly. I started my transition 2 years ago and I'll probably have my surgery in the upcoming years. I have other projects going right now, for example, my voice is my largest concern currently because it's essential for passing. Every time I open my mouth, I basically give away my trans-background and that's usually not desired. It creates unnecessary obstacles. But there is a lot of work to do anyway, I personally think I'm far away from passing as a regular woman and it's the main reason why I want to ctb. This life isn't worth it. Being trans isn't temporary. And gender dysphoria will always exists in some form. And it's even worse when there are no professionals around that are familiar with this subject. 2 years of transition seem like a long time but I'm still at the start, really. I'm depending on my health insurance a lot when it comes to certain procedures and it's gonna be rough.

I always was very shy and introverted but I think the bullying probably amplified that. It's very difficult for me to trust people and I'd rather be alone. Which also creates social isolation and loneliness. But being surrounded by people creates a lot of stress. I feel discomfort and I'm usually nervous and very anxious because I have no clue how to interact with people in the first place. It's a nightmare and I only leave the house for appointments. And transitioning made it even worse. Before I started my transition, I was just a regular dude for people. They didn't spend too much time thinking about me, when they saw me on the streets. But now, being visibly trans and therefore being judged simply for looking different, it's a whole different struggle. As I said before, I don't really pass as a woman and people probably view me as something between the genders. It's weird but it doesn't feel good. I'm happy about transitioning because it makes it easier for me to accept myself somehow but at the same time it has many severe social implications. I'm lucky enough to be in a somewhat supportive family, I can't even fathom how bad it must be if even the closest family members reject and abandon you. I don't have any friends but at least some family members show support.

The doctor recently said all problems are temporary and therefore suicide is no option, period. But none of my problems really are temporary. They're all somehow connected to each other and addressing these issues seems impossible to me. Especially my gender dysphoria is gonna be there for the rest of my life and I don't think a life in a body that is inherently repulsive to you will ever be enjoyable. It's not just about surviving, although that's what it feels like when you live in poverty. It's about having a good life and I can't see that happening in the near future.

And regarding your question, I'm not familiar with any other anxieties besides my social anxiety. But I'm not sure.

I just want to say that I am in the same boat.
Trans feminine, not really passing, severe social anxiety. Can't see not depressing future.
I was much better just in summer but extra layer of problems beat me down into the pit of despair.
Hugs, sis.

 

[Rollo]

Exactly. I started my transition 2 years ago and I'll probably have my surgery in the upcoming years. I have other projects going right now, for example, my voice is my largest concern currently because it's essential for passing. Every time I open my mouth, I basically give away my trans-background and that's usually not desired. It creates unnecessary obstacles. But there is a lot of work to do anyway, I personally think I'm far away from passing as a regular woman and it's the main reason why I want to ctb. This life isn't worth it. Being trans isn't temporary. And gender dysphoria will always exists in some form. And it's even worse when there are no professionals around that are familiar with this subject. 2 years of transition seem like a long time but I'm still at the start, really. I'm depending on my health insurance a lot when it comes to certain procedures and it's gonna be rough.

I always was very shy and introverted but I think the bullying probably amplified that. It's very difficult for me to trust people and I'd rather be alone. Which also creates social isolation and loneliness. But being surrounded by people creates a lot of stress. I feel discomfort and I'm usually nervous and very anxious because I have no clue how to interact with people in the first place. It's a nightmare and I only leave the house for appointments. And transitioning made it even worse. Before I started my transition, I was just a regular dude for people. They didn't spend too much time thinking about me, when they saw me on the streets. But now, being visibly trans and therefore being judged simply for looking different, it's a whole different struggle. As I said before, I don't really pass as a woman and people probably view me as something between the genders. It's weird but it doesn't feel good. I'm happy about transitioning because it makes it easier for me to accept myself somehow but at the same time it has many severe social implications. I'm lucky enough to be in a somewhat supportive family, I can't even fathom how bad it must be if even the closest family members reject and abandon you. I don't have any friends but at least some family members show support.

The doctor recently said all problems are temporary and therefore suicide is no option, period. But none of my problems really are temporary. They're all somehow connected to each other and addressing these issues seems impossible to me. Especially my gender dysphoria is gonna be there for the rest of my life and I don't think a life in a body that is inherently repulsive to you will ever be enjoyable. It's not just about surviving, although that's what it feels like when you live in poverty. It's about having a good life and I can't see that happening in the near future.

And regarding your question, I'm not familiar with any other anxieties besides my social anxiety. But I'm not sure.

Why exactly do you want to make a transition? When and why did this thought first occured? I see you're saying male body is repulsive to you. Why?

Anxiety to me means the same exact thing as fear, worry etc. It's the reaction of having a though of something unpleasant happening to you. Usually it's death, physical suffering, loss of function, financial loss etc but it can be anything unpleasant really. So my question simply is - do you personally believe you have problem with fear in general, in other cases, not only when you're exposed to social setting? Like say you have chest pain and you start having a panic attack worrying that it may be a symptom of something serious, that you may die from heart attack.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Why exactly do you want to make a transition? When and why did this thought first occured? I see you're saying male body is repulsive to you. Why?

Uhm, that's hard to describe, really. I started to feel dysphoric when I came into puberty. Like, when my body started to grow hair, when I started to grow facial hair, when my body started to become more muscular. All of these things that usually start to change during male puberty. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I hate all male parts on my body and I wish I could rip off my skin sometimes and just replace it with a completely new body. Especially the facial hair - and the shaving - creates a lot of discomfort. But that changed a lot now, since I started my hormone replacement therapy 2 years ago. I have a fairly feminine body now, which makes me feel euphoric. I have small breasts and I'm proud of them. I'm proud of all the changes that happened with my HRT. But I'm still not in a good spot. I have some male facial attributes, which I don't like and I want to get surgery done for that. And I want to change my voice. But most of my issues are related to social rejection. People treat you differently when you're trans. Very differently.

Anxiety to me means the same exact thing as fear, worry etc. It's the reaction of having a though of something unpleasant happening to you. Usually it's death, physical suffering, loss of function, financial loss etc but it can be anything unpleasant really. So my question simply is - do you personally believe you have problem with fear in general, in other cases, not only when you're exposed to social setting? Like say you have chest pain and you start having a panic attack worrying that it may be a symptom of something serious, that you may die from heart attack.

Good question. It's hard to make an accurate statement about this because I have nothing for comparison. But I don't think so. I'm only worried when I have symptoms of something that could be serious but in that case I simply go to the doctor. I think it's mostly related to social interactions.

I just want to say that I am in the same boat.
Trans feminine, not really passing, severe social anxiety. Can't see not depressing future.
I was much better just in summer but extra layer of problems beat me down into the pit of despair.
Hugs, sis.

Thanks, I feel you too. Hugs back to you.

 

[EvilForProfit]

Basically from my experience crying over a break up in the presence of a psychiatrist is enough to be labeled with a chronic mental illness, and prescribed an antidepressant/antipsychotic you are supposed to take for life. Baffling

 

[RainAndSadness]

I was never really fan of shaving myself. Never did it every day. And long time ago I switched to trimming and having constant stubble at least 3 mm. Still I myself am comfortable being a man and never was really all that inconvenienced by shaving. And even if I was then I would simply want to find some strong solution for shaving while remaining male. Besides women shave their legs - a much larger surface. And I'm also cool with being muscular and strong. I don't mind being male even though I don't have anything against females either.

Yet you do mind it. I understand you're simply a guy who wants to be a girl. Shaving or no shaving. Is that correct? And I'm trying to figure out why. Say you had a month to live and had to spend it completely alone, everyone else, humans and all animals gone from planet Earth - would it still matter to you if you lived it as male or female? There are certain behaviour traits associated with each sex. Males are intense and violent, girls are peaceful and loving - is it that you want to exhibit the latter behaviours? Or is it that you want to hang with girls, not guys?

Oh wait, is this me justifying my gender dysphoria to you? Yeah, uhm. Have fun with that yourself. If you want to play these games with me, I'm the wrong address. You can't seriously compare enormous distress caused by gender dysphoria to you not being in the mood to shave. That's hilarious and kinda shows, you don't even understand the basics. Maybe educate yourself first before you start questioning me, because your questions are rude and offensive. What's next? Do you want to cut off your dick because you're not a fan of sex, either?

And yeah, I'm not a dude who wants to be a girl, I'm a woman. That's a difference.

I don't mind being male even though I don't have anything against females either

Or is it that you want to hang with girls, not guys?

Implying trans people transition because they want to hang out with girls. Implying you have anything against females if you're transitioning. You're very rude. But if you really like to learn about the science behind trans people, I can give you some scientific papers. But I'm not gonna play these games with you where you throw subtle accusations towards me.

So how often you went to the doc like this and were there actually cases where these things were in fact signs of some serious disease that you were having? And how was your mood when you thought you might have a symptom - would you say you were usually in strong worry or moderate or light?

Maybe don't try to downplay someones gender dysphoria if you know trans people suffer from a 40% suicide attempt rate, mostly because of social issues. I explained it to you.

 

[RainAndSadness]

But you said yourself things like "Before I started my transition, I was just a regular dude for people." So you didn't seem to mind applying this description to yourself. You also said you have 'gender dysphoria', meaning you dissatisfied with your gender. A male gender obviously. So you said it yourself that you have male gender, and in the process of transitioning to female gender. It's beyond me why you would get all worked up when I simply said the same thing by different words. So I wasn't being rude to you, I wasn't implying anything - I was simply asking the most obvious questions. The kind of questions you ought to be asking yourself if you actually want some real answers, as you claimed.

At the same time I'm not going to tolerate you being rude to me so good luck with your life.

Yeah, other people perceived me as a dude, back when I presented as a dude, that's what I said. I never said I am a dude. That's a big difference. It's the gender people assigned to me at birth but that doesn't mean I am a guy. If you just did a little bit of research, you would know that transwomen have a female brain structure. So you telling me that 'I'm a guy wanting to be a girl' is wrong and offensive. That's why transitioning solves a lot of gender dysphoria for trans people but you acting as the victim now, after you made the assumption I would transition because I want to be with girls, is priceless.

The devil is in the details and if you talk to transpeople, you should take care of that. You could accept that you shouldn't talk to transpeople like that or you can of course act as the victim now, after you made several loaded statements.