The horrors of ugliness

[Journeytoletgo]

It just makes you not motivated to pursue anything anymore. It's really horrible
I remember that horrible pain ages 14-19.

 

[Ch92921]

Being attractive may not solve all problems, but being ugly certainly causes many. And unlike you, most if not all of my problems are directly or indirectly caused by unattractiveness.
Anyway, I hope that you succeed in doing whatever you want to do, be it ctb or recovery.

You speak the truth!

 

[Hangman]

Some beautiful people are very insecure too. If you are beautiful, you are "competing" with other beautiful people. If you are ugly, you don't need to worry about beauty.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

Some beautiful people are very insecure too. If you are beautiful, you are "competing" with other beautiful people. If you are ugly, you don't need to worry about beauty.

wtf that doesn't make sense, was it supposed to be a motivational phrase??

 

[Hangman]

wtf that doesn't make sense, was it supposed to be a motivational phrase??

Made sense to me a moment ago... Just saying it's not much better looking good. My twisted positive thinking to offer for this forum.

 

[8evergo]

Even if you look good when you're crazy the same thing, only the girls are kidding you and the gays always want you

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's even worse because you're trapped, you can't win, when you're ugly you can't put yourself in situations to die (I hear so many story's I'm sure you all do too about people dying who lived their life or were in the wrong place at the wrong time). And you can't fully live because you will be tortured everywhere you walk for your looks and then you're miserable because you're not fully living.

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

After being rejected countless times I learned the things of the pickup artists, but never used because it felt like I was manipulating people, which I hate to do so.

The thing is, every single behavior you exhibit, whether it's the rhythm of your breathing, the words you use, your body posture, or whatever, it's all manipulating the person you're interacting with. You have a choice of manipulating them unconsciously, or consciously. Your only other choice is to not interact with other people.

 

[Midgardsorm]

The thing is, every single behavior you exhibit, whether it's the rhythm of your breathing, the words you use, your body posture, or whatever, it's all manipulating the person you're interacting with. You have a choice of manipulating them unconsciously, or consciously. Your only other choice is to not interact with other people.

You have a point.

I just thought that I wasn't being myself, I was being a script. Wasn't only exhausting to do it but it was also unfair for the other person, in that case, the girl with me.
I felt myself being fake and manipulating her to think I was actually like that every time.

 

[death137]

It's even worse because you're trapped, you can't win, when you're ugly you can't put yourself in situations to die (I hear so many story's I'm sure you all do too about people dying who lived their life or were in the wrong place at the wrong time). And you can't fully live because you will be tortured everywhere you walk for your looks and then you're miserable because you're not fully living.

It's hell, horror, etc

Relationship between ugliness and social anxiety

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's hell, horror, etc

Relationship between ugliness and social anxiety

YUP. That's the truth

It's hell, horror, etc

Relationship between ugliness and social anxiety

this world is hell

 

[HappyForever?]

It's hell, horror, etc

Relationship between ugliness and social anxiety

That's one of the reasons why humans are better off dead. They have pure evil deep in their genes and they don't even try to hide it.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's literally the worse handicap. If I looked different and felt alive I would be free to move about the world and experience and build up a foundation. Also not to mention it kills ALL social confidence and interaction with others

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's truly like you're destined to fail when unattractive, I can never accept this body and the 2 mistakes with guys when I was low who smelled my low self esteem

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Honestly I sometimes wonder how I got so unlucky

 

[fillthevoid]

Honestly not sure how ugly/non-ugly I am really. People have called my pretty before, probably just being nice but still. Cos equally nobody has ever been interested in me before really lol apart from my current bf who honestly probably just wanted a younger 'upgrade' from his ex tbf lol (she was hot af from photos I've seen but I guess she got too old for his likes haha) I don't wear makeup or try with my appearance at all, so I probably look really bad compared to what people expect to see, and personality wise I'm absolutely horrendous, flat, boring, and most of all just plain wierd. So I guess, even if I'm fairly slim, 'ok' looking etc, still doesn't make me attractive at all. I would love TO feel attractive and likeable and magnetic to the opposite sex but I just don't and I've never been prepared to wear makeup and dress in a different way and be someone I'm not just to test this theory. I want someone to be attracted to me, for me. So guess it just is what it is.

 

[The Abyss]

Just be yourself, oh but also you need a good face, tall, act confident, have a stupid haircut that is currently fashionable, don't admit you're into "loser hobbies", pretend you enjoy travelling & have 100 friends lol. Being an asshole bully also works.

Personality only matters if you're attractive enough to even warrant talking to in the first place; even then the better looking you are the less it matters.

As for standards women are held to, the better looking & not obese you are the less "creepy=ugly/not tall" the men hitting on you will be. There's a huge thirst problem out there with many guys desperate for a moment of female attention.

 

[ornitier199]

In my past, I knew people who found the guys I found attractive to be ugly. Even when I see they're not, others did. I knew one who thought himself ugly but I did not. So, the whole eye in the beauty of the beholder is true at least.
You know that no one is beautiful to everyone, and vice versa, OK?

 

[sfabians]

This question on reddit got 10K replies:
"What are the dangers of being very beautiful?"
Link

 

[HappyForever?]

This question on reddit got 10K replies:
"What are the dangers of being very beautiful?"
Link

I'd rather be attractive and take the minuscule risk of being harmed than be unattractive and live in pain every day.
Edit: After reading more posts in the thread I found that most of the "dangers" are merely minor inconveniences. Some posts are even about what will happen if you become less attractive, which is more like a danger of being unattractive rather than attractive.

 

[justagreenleaf]

Never having a "teenage romance" because of my looks at the time is something I'll always regret. I did improve somewhat as I aged—still not to a point where I'd say I feel comfortable in my shoes. Ah well, in the next life, perhaps...

 

[HappyForever?]

Never having a "teenage romance" because of my looks at the time is something I'll always regret. I did improve somewhat as I aged—still not to a point where I'd say I feel comfortable in my shoes. Ah well, in the next life, perhaps...

Teenage romance is something that I've missed out on too, and it's part of the reason I'm here.

 

[prince345]

I'd rather be attractive and take the minuscule risk of being harmed than be unattractive and live in pain every day.
Edit: After reading more posts in the thread I found that most of the "dangers" are merely minor inconveniences. Some posts are even about what will happen if you become less attractive, which is more like a danger of being unattractive rather than attractive.

It's definitely not minor inconveniences or a minuscule risk… especially if you are a woman. Even women who are not conventionally attractive get raped, kidnapped, and/or killed. Don't mean to come off as harsh but it's reality.

 

[HappyForever?]

It's definitely not minor inconveniences or a minuscule risk… especially if you are a woman. Even women who are not conventionally attractive get raped, kidnapped, and/or killed. Don't mean to come off as harsh but it's reality.

It's like saying "It's bad being rich. People all want my money and I'm more likely to be robbed." The issues are perfectly valid, but the benefits far outweigh the dangers. You see ads for cosmetic surgery everywhere, but you never see anyone who deliberately wants to be unattractive. Also, you mentioned that the danger applies to less attractive women as well. This indicates it's not a problem about being attractive, but a problem about being a woman.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've always wondered what life would be like if I were attractive. When I worked in retail, there was this one lady who was model-level beautiful and one day, I was on the rota to work with her. It made me feel even more crap- with the extra contrast standing next to her.

She was actually really nice, which made it easier. Customers would outright tell her she was beautiful and had she considered modelling. I asked her afterwards what that was like- and she said- sometimes it was flattering but other times, it was really intrusive. Wondered if it would almost be like being famous and decided I was probably better off being ugly. I don't think I'd enjoy that level of attention.

I'm sorry that this is impacting your life. I would say that there are things you can do to improve yourself. I went through a two year phase of trying to impress someone I had a crush on. I lost a lot of weight and made more effort dressing well. Honestly, it didn't work- LOL. Still, it made me feel better at the time. Honestly, I've realised since that all my crushes were pretty unhealthy- like obsessions (limerance).

I think I'm so maladjusted now that I don't even want a relationship, so it doesn't matter so much how look but I wish you well.

 

[ornitier199]

"Don't mean to" yet does it anyway.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I've always wondered what life would be like if I were attractive. When I worked in retail, there was this one lady who was model-level beautiful and one day, I was on the rota to work with her. It made me feel even more crap- with the extra contrast standing next to her.

She was actually really nice, which made it easier. Customers would outright tell her she was beautiful and had she considered modelling. I asked her afterwards what that was like- and she said- sometimes it was flattering but other times, it was really intrusive. Wondered if it would almost be like being famous and decided I was probably better off being ugly. I don't think I'd enjoy that level of attention.

I'm sorry that this is impacting your life. I would say that there are things you can do to improve yourself. I went through a two year phase of trying to impress someone I had a crush on. I lost a lot of weight and made more effort dressing well. Honestly, it didn't work- LOL. Still, it made me feel better at the time. Honestly, I've realised since that all my crushes were pretty unhealthy- like obsessions (limerance).

I think I'm so maladjusted now that I don't even want a relationship, so it doesn't matter so much how look but I wish you well.

True, while it may have been intrusive to her, ugly people suffer insults which is also intrusive so either way there's negative attention. I'd take being her (with the benefit of positive attention) over me who gets at best no attention.

 

[justagreenleaf]

Teenage romance is something that I've missed out on too, and it's part of the reason I'm here.

Just an idea lonely guy, let's dress up like people did back then, and pretend we are living it!

 

[WorthlessTrash]

wtf that doesn't make sense, was it supposed to be a motivational phrase??

It's COPIUM. A way for people who are unattractive to rationalize their fate.

I would bet that most, if not all people would be attractive if they could.

 

[Kestrel]

I'm an ugly women and the thing that hurts the most is knowing that people don't believe you were sexually harrased or assulted. It feels extra embarrasing to talk about because you know they are thinking 'why would anyone assault that'.

I remember some of my male friends, one of which told me many times I am ugly, making jokes to me about one of my worst assaults. He also made fun of the fact a man in college kept harrasing me. They defended the guys. It's like they see you as worth nothing, or you should enjoy the attention you get even if it is scary and violent.

I reported one to the police and they did nothing. I don't think they believed me.