Toobrokentofix

Toobrokentofix

Experienced
Jul 7, 2020
244
I staggered to the toilet n fell off it and struggled to get back up n crawl to my bed in the next room. Felt very week. Then whilst oxygen was plummeting I felt I dunno. Just very weak and tired but my heart was racing. I had urge to take big breaths but they didn't feel like they were helping. Reminded me of having a pillow held over my face when I was little. Just panic
Like I had a pillow over face. Breathed hard but made no difference. Already under cmht so didn't see anyone at the hospital. They all just think I'm a dick anyway. Though they wouldn't admit it I'm sure they were most pissed off at my inability to just do it properly already n stop wasting everyone's time.
 
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whatredsmile

Member
Feb 4, 2024
6
I did something very similar 3 weeks ago. Was impulsive and not planned. The same amount if SN but no other meds. Took this pic 30 mins in. I realised it was gonna kill me slowly and couldn't walk down the stairs to leave the house n didn't want my family finding me. I felt the lack of oxygen n it panicked me so I called for an ambulance
How are you feeling now and what did the ambulance people do?
 
Toobrokentofix

Toobrokentofix

Experienced
Jul 7, 2020
244
How are you feeling now and what did the ambulance people do?
Tbh I'm fucked off. The ambulance took my SN and having trouble sourcing more. They put me on oxygen n blue lighted me to the ER where I received antidote
 
Toobrokentofix

Toobrokentofix

Experienced
Jul 7, 2020
244
How much SN did you take?
Only 2g. Though had also taken a couple in the 2 previous days. Was impulsive and unplanned. I had planned to do it properly a week later but was feeling angry and impulsive and not sure if it was still potent as had opened the jar a few times before that. If I'd have followed the plan I'm confident I would have died. I felt like I was dying. But I fucked up and then lost my resource
 
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dggtscccvfd

Mage
Jun 1, 2023
563
Only 2g. Though had also taken a couple in the 2 previous days. Was impulsive and unplanned. I had planned to do it properly a week later but was feeling angry and impulsive and not sure if it was still potent as had opened the jar a few times before that. If I'd have followed the plan I'm confident I would have died. I felt like I was dying. But I fucked up and then lost my resource
Sorry to hear that.
 
O

onlyconsciousness

Member
Apr 29, 2024
41
Only 2g. Though had also taken a couple in the 2 previous days. Was impulsive and unplanned. I had planned to do it properly a week later but was feeling angry and impulsive and not sure if it was still potent as had opened the jar a few times before that. If I'd have followed the plan I'm confident I would have died. I felt like I was dying. But I fucked up and then lost my resource
. man, that's fucked up, hope you'll find another source.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
An interesting fact about SN I learned from reading my records from my SN attempt:

I was intubated but my oxygen was in the 60s. They knew what I had taken, and had already given me methalyn blue, they contacted poison control about what to do about my sats. Apparently the way SN binds to the blood can interfere with the way pulse-ox sensors read your oxygen levels. They cannot get an accurate read, and come out lower than they truly are. The only way to get an accurate O2 reading is through blood gases (a simple blood test). I believe that my blood gases were in the 80s and 90s while my pulse ox was reading in the 60s. A very interesting fact.
 
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Deleted member 65988

Guest
An interesting fact about SN I learned from reading my records from my SN attempt:

I was intubated but my oxygen was in the 60s. They knew what I had taken, and had already given me methalyn blue, they contacted poison control about what to do about my sats. Apparently the way SN binds to the blood can interfere with the way pulse-ox sensors read your oxygen levels. They cannot get an accurate read, and come out lower than they truly are. The only way to get an accurate O2 reading is through blood gases (a simple blood test). I believe that my blood gases were in the 80s and 90s while my pulse ox was reading in the 60s. A very interesting fact.
So any longer or had treatment not worked then you would've passed on. This is also why Methb readings in terms of hospitals can read only goes as high as 30%.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
So any longer or had treatment not worked then you would've passed on. This is also why Methb readings in terms of hospitals can read only goes as high as 30%.
My methoglobenemia level was 60%. And I believe that was after a dose of methalyn blue. Had I not told my boyfriend at the time I was dying in a hypoxic stupor and him called for help I would have been dead.
 
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Deleted member 65988

Guest
My methoglobenemia level was 60%. And I believe that was after a dose of methalyn blue. Had I not told my boyfriend at the time I was dying in a hypoxic stupor and him called for help I would have been dead.
Yeah, as I've seen, the levels of Methb that are seen in fatal cases vary so it isn't always "get above 70% and you'll be gone".
Incredible how it was still that high but I suppose it was a standard dose of Methelyne blue which wasn't enough.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Yeah, as I've seen, the levels of Methb that are seen in fatal cases vary so it isn't always "get above 70% and you'll be gone".
Incredible how it was still that high but I suppose it was a standard dose of Methelyne blue which wasn't enough.
Above 50% is associated with near certain death without treatment, not just in SN poisoning, in anything that can cause methoglobenemia.
 
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Deleted member 65988

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Above 50% is associated with near certain death without treatment, not just in SN poisoning, in anything that can cause methoglobenemia.
Precisely, I was under the assumption at first that 70% was the level where it'd be high chance of death with sn but as I read more and more, above 50% is already crossing into very, very dangerous territory without any treatment, still curious about several cases as to why in some cases ,people die on the way to hospital or die even with treatment outside of methlyne blue treatment not being available or not being enough but I suppose it's the fact that sn is a time-sensitive emergency, don't get the impression that its slow.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Precisely, I was under the assumption at first that 70% was the level where it'd be high chance of death with sn but as I read more and more, above 50% is already crossing into very, very dangerous territory without any treatment, still curious about several cases as to why in some cases ,people die on the way to hospital or die even with treatment outside of methlyne blue treatment not being available or not being enough but I suppose it's the fact that sn is a time-sensitive emergency, don't get the impression that its slow.
If I had to take a guess (this isn't fact, just speculation), I would imagine it has a certain factor of underlying conditions, known or unknown. Moreover, if you deprive your tissue of adequate oxygen for long enough, permanent damage can occur. If someone is not found soon enough, methalyn blue will not undo the damage already done, it will only stop further damage. My guess would be time frame and predisposing factors. I'm sure how much someone takes may also play somewhat of a factor.
 
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Deleted member 65988

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, I would imagine it has a certain factor of underlying conditions, known or unknown. Moreover, if you deprive your tissue of adequate oxygen for long enough, permanent damage can occur. If someone is not found soon enough, methalyn blue will not undo the damage already done, it will only stop further damage. My guess would be time frame and predisposing factors. I'm sure how much someone takes may also play somewhat of a factor.
I think its because if anyone has pre-existing cardiovascular or pulmonary issues then that could already be one reason.

Agreed on all points though, because intentional ingestion of sn is not only more difficult to reverse but also have a higher chance of death than accidental ingestion so the amount has a factor, a very significant one at that.
 
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skatergirl

Student
Oct 28, 2024
139
Did u pass out?
The only pain I felt was indeed the treatment. They cut my right wrist two times for the giant tubes and the pain I felt inserting the catheter trought my … (you know what I mean) was unbelievable horrible. But SN itself? Nothing, the feeling of the high heartrate was the same like my daily jogging. And after 30 minutes my body just adapted to it. I knew it was beating fast, but I couldn't really feel it. No nausea even through I was vomiting, the taste after drinking it was maybe pain. But it just held for seconds because drinking coke afterwards eliminated the taste
 
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tbh2023

Member
Nov 4, 2024
56
Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don't know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm.

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:

I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I'm a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud".

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time "I was asleep", my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of "Kammerflimmern", a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers
What is this?? ICU? So SN failed? And how they let you out after suicide attempt? They didn't consult psych? Sorry too many questions but your story is kind of interesting.
 
cali22♡

cali22♡

Selfharm Specialist♡
Nov 11, 2023
313
Sooo sry that you had to leave the hospital

maybe it was the right descision
 

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