Story Following my twin’s legacy and need help.

[mekhi]

Want to start by thanking you for clicking my post, and taking time to read my story.

Just a bit of background
I was born as an identical twin on valentines day. Both my sister and I were abused growing up as a result my twin sister committed suicide may of last year. I left my parents home and stayed with relatives then later joined the army only to be medically separated 6 months in. Completed basic training and everything too. Now I'm back home with my abusers and not much has changed. I really can't do this anymore and have been passively suicidal since the age of 10. Since my twin passed I have come up with plans, and ways out but get overwhelmed at the thought of failing an attempt.
My plan now is to purchase a shotgun as the legal age is 18 where I live (only rifles:shot guns allowed tho)
I would get a background check and place it in a duffel bag then uber back to my house. ( unfortunately I don't have a car) the gun would be in a gym bag as to not raise any concerns about what I'm carrying when I enter my house.
Then I would ctb perhaps sometime later. It could be a week, month who knows..
just nice to know I have a definitive plan to fall back on.

Where I get confused though is I have been Voluntarily hospitalized in the past year for mental health and diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
Im not sure if that would prohibit me from purchasing a shot gun. Would I also need a guardian present? Would it be as easy as walking out there with the gun in my duffel bag if my background check is approved?
Any advice/ suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Again thank you for reading.

 

[FF777]

despite being in USA i've never owned a gun yet so don't really know tons about them and not sure if being in a ward prohibits you or not.. just make sure the gauge is big enough (don't use .22 because that is small).. i keep seeing that a shotgun is the most sure way to make sure you CTB and don't end up alive and injured.. but other people that know more about the gun aspect of it might chime in eventually i hope..

i'm sorry that you and her had to go through abuse crap like that from deadbeat parents.. can i ask what reaction your parents had though when your twin sister CTB?.. did they care much, or even realize why she did it?..

 

[darksouls]

I am sorry for the loss of your twin sister
and that so much violence was done to you by people,
anyway,
you are welcome in this community,
I hope you can find some peace

 

[mekhi]

despite being in USA i've never owned a gun yet so don't really know tons about them and not sure if being in a ward prohibits you or not.. just make sure the gauge is big enough (don't use .22 because that is small).. i keep seeing that a shotgun is the most sure way to make sure you CTB and don't end up alive and injured.. but other people that know more about the gun aspect of it might chime in eventually i hope..

i'm sorry that you and her had to go through abuse crap like that from deadbeat parents.. can i ask what reaction your parents had though when your twin sister CTB?.. did they care much, or even realize why she did it?..

Thank you for your input:) I plan to buy a shotgun as I've also seen that it is a highly reliable rifle to use. I plan on calling this nearby gun shop to verify if I can get my gun shipped there and approved by an FFL at 19. Fingers and toes crossed that everything works out in my favor for once.
As far as my parents. They were adamant on saving their image more than anything after my twin passed. She scheduled an IG post exposing them as abusers and saying they are the reason she ctb. Unfortunately my whole family is fucked up and literally brushed over everything/ still talk to my parents and support them. So yea.. I can't wait to get out of here

 

[booplesnoot34]

How did your sister successfully CTB?

 

[fleurdelune]

hey, i'm sorry you feel so shitty :( i'm surprised to see someone else whose twin CTB'd on here but my (fraternal) twin did it 4 years ago and it's a really weird feeling to get further in life than the person who used to accompany you through it.

if you're in the US, the gun ownership stuff depends on which state you're in... but if it makes you feel any better, judging by how often we have mass shootings carried out by people who shouldn't be allowed to own a gun, the "background checks" people are supposed to have can't be all that rigorous. but i'd look up info specific to your state just to be sure

i wish you all the best, fellow former twin <3

 

[mekhi]

How did your sister successfully CTB?

Similar to myself, my twin had also been suicidal for years prior to committing. However a week leading up to her "demise" for lack of better term, she REALLY displayed signs that she was going to do it. Esp to my parents. Yet my DUMBASS dad left his work gun out and in the open and she managed to get a hold of it and shoot herself in the woods of our neighborhood. After she died my dad admitted to her coming to him the day before saying " you would all move on from me anyway" like a bunch of alarming things and he still was negligent and left his gun out. So yea that's how she ctb'd.

hey, i'm sorry you feel so shitty :( i'm surprised to see someone else whose twin CTB'd on here but my (fraternal) twin did it 4 years ago and it's a really weird feeling to get further in life than the person who used to accompany you through it.

if you're in the US, the gun ownership stuff depends on which state you're in... but if it makes you feel any better, judging by how often we have mass shootings carried out by people who shouldn't be allowed to own a gun, the "background checks" people are supposed to have can't be all that rigorous. but i'd look up info specific to your state just to be sure

i wish you all the best, fellow former twin <3

Thank you for this. Yes I just got a call back today saying my background check was approved .
I'm very sorry for your loss as well. It's rare for me to find people who have experienced the same as myself.
If I may ask though, how have you been holding up since your twins passing? Are they why you are on SaSu?