Story Testing SN - How to get to hospital (fast)

[suicidalpushpop]

wow

 

[icetea15]

Forgive me for the possibly silly question, but all those scars and marks on your skin are from the tubes they put in you right? I won't look like that if I consume SN right? I ask this because I was quite agonized to see it and I don't know if I could handle the anxiety of seeing it on my skin. It certainly wouldn't be a peaceful suicide with all that anxiety. I guess I'm one of those people who almost faints when they go for a blood test lol

Oh no, the scars on my left arm are from cutting; the picture of my right wrist with the red/yellow/blue bruises is now completely "normal". All you can see now is just a slightly red 1cm line.

EDIT: Here's a picture.

 

[icetea15]

op is hot, wish we could make out (when not brown in the face)

I thought the same thing, though I would still do it with tubes and all LOL

View attachment 99069

I have never thought of such a reaction to THIS picture I personally find myself eeextremely ugly and I have looooong thought about whether I post the picture at all.

 

[hunterfla]

I have never thought of such a reaction to THIS picture I personally find myself eeextremely ugly and I have looooong thought about whether I post the picture at all.

Glad you did...I mean I only see half of your face but I can tell you're a very handsome man. :) Feel free to PM me more of you. hahahahahahaha

 

[That's Not Me]

Oh no, the scars on my left arm are from cutting; the picture of my right wrist with the red/yellow/blue bruises is now completely "normal". All you can see now is just a slightly red 1cm line.

EDIT: Here's a picture.

Thank you for reassuring me :)

 

[yuzuchan]

Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don't know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm. ​

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:
I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I'm a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud".

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time "I was asleep", my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of "Kammerflimmern", a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers

Thanks for all your account i plan to ctb at the end of this month with sn I have everything ready my one worry was actually downing it.

You said you took it with coke I was under the impression that pop or other drinks stop it working or make it work slower ect as a med student how does mixing coke with sn impact it negatively it you know?

 

[icetea15]

Thanks for all your account i plan to ctb at the end of this month with sn I have everything ready my one worry was actually downing it.

You said you took it with coke I was under the impression that pop or other drinks stop it working or make it work slower ect as a med student how does mixing coke with sn impact it negatively it you know?

The coming answer is not a fact but only my personal view or opinion:
SN reacts with cola, I saw that. It fizzed, similar to Menthos+Cola, but not as extreme. In my testing, I waited until the cola was relatively "normal" and drank it afterwards. Then rinsed again with cola to remove the aftertaste. I am not a chemist, but I thought in my test that the acid in the cola was so much weaker than the acid in the stomach. So that it made no difference to me what I was drinking because SN comes in contact with acid either way.

In my case, it still worked and I ended up in the ICU, although I believe that possibly certain gases created in the glass would have accelerated the process of SN if that process had started in the stomach first.

This is not a recommendation, but I will still use cola in the next (last) attempt because it was the only drink that could mask this disgusting taste. Basically, however, I am of the opinion that you should rather rely on water for the SN drink. And if the aftertaste is unbearable, rinse everything with your favorite drink.

 

[yuzuchan]

The coming answer is not a fact but only my personal view or opinion:
SN reacts with cola, I saw that. It fizzed, similar to Menthos+Cola, but not as extreme. In my testing, I waited until the cola was relatively "normal" and drank it afterwards. Then rinsed again with cola to remove the aftertaste. I am not a chemist, but I thought in my test that the acid in the cola was so much weaker than the acid in the stomach. So that it made no difference to me what I was drinking because SN comes in contact with acid either way.

In my case, it still worked and I ended up in the ICU, although I believe that possibly certain gases created in the glass would have accelerated the process of SN if that process had started in the stomach first.

This is not a recommendation, but I will still use cola in the next (last) attempt because it was the only drink that could mask this disgusting taste. Basically, however, I am of the opinion that you should rather rely on water for the SN drink. And if the aftertaste is unbearable, rinse everything with your favorite drink.

Thank you for your replay i appreciate it and the post as a whole.

Favourite drink is actually coke anyway but sounds like a good idea to do the drink then rinse with coke after sounds the ticket for me.
thanks for the replay sounds scary what you went though had no idea 2mg of sn was lethal was a very interesting post thinks for sharing the exprince

 

[Timeleft]

Thanks for sharing all this valuable information. I'm not sure if anyone has asked this yet, but did your body temperature increase or decrease after consuming the SN? Did you feel warmer when your heart was racing or did you feel no change at all?

 

[conflagration]

Thank you for your report. How did that happen that you are on so many meds including addictive benzos? Have you considered that maybe meds are messing you up mentally?

 

[icetea15]

Thanks for sharing all this valuable information. I'm not sure if anyone has asked this yet, but did your body temperature increase or decrease after consuming the SN? Did you feel warmer when your heart was racing or did you feel no change at all?

I felt warm but my skin was very cold on the outside. But it's the same warmth I feel when I sprint for 5 minutes while jogging.

Thank you for your report. How did that happen that you are on so many meds including addictive benzos? Have you considered that maybe meds are messing you up mentally?

Oh yeah, I have my own history with medications. I've never really been addicted, as I can stop any antidepressant of any kind at any time without any symptoms.
The past has shown me this over and over again and even the psychiatrists and neurologists know of this "ability" of my body and psyche to not develop an addiction.
My medication changes constantly and adapts to the circumstances; benzos have the greatest effect, in relation, so far, leaving aside a ketamine infusion, but this medication unfortunately only lasts a few days and is too time-consuming for that.

 

[Popcornmew]

Did you take meto?

 

[Emmie]

I felt warm but my skin was very cold on the outside. But it's the same warmth I feel when I sprint for 5 minutes while jogging.


Oh yeah, I have my own history with medications. I've never really been addicted, as I can stop any antidepressant of any kind at any time without any symptoms.
The past has shown me this over and over again and even the psychiatrists and neurologists know of this "ability" of my body and psyche to not develop an addiction.
My medication changes constantly and adapts to the circumstances; benzos have the greatest effect, in relation, so far, leaving aside a ketamine infusion, but this medication unfortunately only lasts a few days and is too time-consuming for that.

I would like to know your opinion on fasting, please. How important is it and do you plan to fast next time? A lot of people seem adamant on doing an eight-hour fast, but it seems like overkill in many cases. Fasting that long for me makes me a bit nauseous.

The PPH says we only need to fast for several hours. Stan says, "Sources say that 8 hours is needed. I would suggest individuals know their own metabolism better than a book. If you know that your stomach feels empty after 4 hours, then I suggest you have a 4 hour fast."

Thank you.

 

[Zegers]

Thanks for your story, you were brave to do that although i suppose with med knowledge coupled with an indifference between dying or not would help.

you think Triazolam plays a role in lessen your SI?

 

[well2hell]

This is a truly astonishing and invaluable account. Thank you for reporting your experience so thoroughly, OP.

 

[Amccorm2]

This was a very comprehensive and in depth account, thank you. As someone who prefers a logical format the timings, sequence of events and details are all very helpful.

Personally it really helps with knowing the ingestion to pass out time frame and what to expect in-between.

 

[chicagodollhouse]

I'm really relieved. I'm also used to a really high heart rate (I take Adderall) and it really isn't too bad. Thank you for this report. I do, however, hope you found a happier path. You deserve it. Unfortunately, I'm unable to. I'm dying at midnight. I'm unsure if I should take oxcarbazepine and sleeping pills before the sn.

 

[myownpetvirus]

Are you still planning to ctb?

 

[littlelady774]

Wouldn't the acidity of the coke change the nitrite to nitrate?

 

[tchaik18401893]

I'm unsure if I should take oxcarbazepine and sleeping pills before the sn.

I have Oxcarbazepine as an epilepsy medication. why would you take it in assistance with sn? thanks so much.

 

[Dubito]

Wouldn't the acidity of the coke change the nitrite to nitrate?

Nitrite to Nitrate is oxidation. Acidity doesn't oxidate, does it? In coke we have phosphoric acid. Mmh. Need help. Forgot chemistry.

 

[DT2007]

The only pain I felt was indeed the treatment. They cut my right wrist two times for the giant tubes and the pain I felt inserting the catheter trought my … (you know what I mean) was unbelievable horrible. But SN itself? Nothing, the feeling of the high heartrate was the same like my daily jogging. And after 30 minutes my body just adapted to it. I knew it was beating fast, but I couldn't really feel it. No nausea even through I was vomiting, the taste after drinking it was maybe pain. But it just held for seconds because drinking coke afterwards eliminated the taste.

Why did they apply a catheter?

 

[zel]

Why did they apply a catheter?

To test the urine for toxicological findings.

 

[DesperateOne]

>When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette

 

[losing hope]

I know this is wrong, but I recently tasted a few grains of the SN last night & boy it is the REAL stuff. Just those few grains, made me light headed, gave me brain fog & made me feel a bit lazy for like 5 mins. Even my hearing & vision was slightly affected by those few grains.

I will also say to other members please don't test SN unless you are prepared to ctb. I was that night if those few grains proved fatal, but I needed to taste it.

 

[inaminute]

Did you read his original post?
He decided to ask his brother to drive him to hospital. He is a med student. He wanted to see what happens and how doctors try and treat him.
It's not unusual for people to self-harm fully aware of the potential risk of dying. It's playing with fire. The adrenaline. The uncertain outcome. Like base jumping.

And of course there is always the "scientific" reasoning of wanting to see what happens. How the body reacts. How far you can push it.

Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I have the same impulse to replicate this. Do we know if OP is still with us?

 

[wljourney]

Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I have the same impulse to replicate this. Do we know if OP is still with us?

I think OP is still around.

Just remember that it's a massive gamble. You might be lucky and the docs figure out what to do and give you. You might end up dying in the waiting room because the triage is overwhelmed.

Most rural hospitals don't read their news letters and don't have methylene blue in stock.
The OP is a student in Germany. Excellent healthcare and likely a university clinic that is up to the latest standards.

Just know what you are putting on the line…

 

[Whale_bones]

I think OP is still around.

Just remember that it's a massive gamble. You might be lucky and the docs figure out what to do and give you. You might end up dying in the waiting room because the triage is overwhelmed.

Most rural hospitals don't read their news letters and don't have methylene blue in stock.
The OP is a student in Germany. Excellent healthcare and likely a university clinic that is up to the latest standards.

Just know what you are putting on the line…

Very well said. Along with the hospital he went to being exceptional in the level of treatment and compassion they showed, OP was already taking a large amount of benzodiazepines long-term before he took SN, along with multiple other medications. His experience definitely shouldn't be taken as what's likely to happen to anybody else.

This thread has kept coming up ever since it was posted over 2 years ago. I just worry that so many people see OP's statements about this being an anxiety-free, smooth experience with no negative aftereffects, combined with him framing these claims as coming from someone with medical knowledge. He did clarify some of this later on in the thread, but a lot of people won't know to read through multiple pages to find that out.

 

[Toobrokentofix]

I did something very similar 3 weeks ago. Was impulsive and not planned. The same amount if SN but no other meds. Took this pic 30 mins in. I realised it was gonna kill me slowly and couldn't walk down the stairs to leave the house n didn't want my family finding me. I felt the lack of oxygen n it panicked me so I called for an ambulance

 

[inaminute]

I did something very similar 3 weeks ago. Was impulsive and not planned. The same amount if SN but no other meds. Took this pic 30 mins in. I realised it was gonna kill me slowly and couldn't walk down the stairs to leave the house n didn't want my family finding me. I felt the lack of oxygen n it panicked me so I called for an ambulance

What was the feeling of a lack of oxygen like? Did you fess up what you took? Did it result in a psych visit?
I had a sleep this afternoon and dreamt I took some SN and I felt like I couldn't walk in my dream - I dream very vividly