Discussion tell me why you persist.

[catgirl4lifes]

I just wanna know what keeps you going. let's tell each other. i think this might help noticing more positive sides of living.

my reasoning is simple: i want to meet my best friends irl and see the world!

what is your reason?
and remember, there is no insignificant reason. because things you feel matter.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

Fictional media, mostly anime and manga and being in fandom spaces. I love looking at fanart, reading fanfics and interacting with other people who share the same passion about my interests. There's always this feeling of "I can't die yet, I have to wait for this to come out" or "I want to experience more of this, I want to read/watch one more thing".

Listening to music and dancing.

Memes.

My cat.

The way sun, wind, rain and all kind of weather feels.

The wish to exist one more day.

 

[Cage]

Pretty similar to what @Scattered-Soul is saying. My biggest comfort has always been the internet and everything associated with it, whether it's memes, video essays, watching shows/movies online, listening to music, playing games, reading books/articles, anything like that. The internet has everything I want and it's been my one constant companion throughout life. I don't know what I would do without it.

Sometimes when I've watched a really good video, listened to a good song or read something really interesting, I can almost convince myself that the world isn't such a horrible place and maybe life really is worth living after all.

Then I remember that most people are in such shitty situations that they don't even have that, and it makes me feel terrible for existing in a world where my happiness is predicated on the oppression of others. And the necessity for me to CTB makes itself known again.

 

[catgirl4lifes]

@Scattered_Soul , @Cage i honestly get it! Im currently hyperfixated on mortal kombat franchise and while the source of dopamine is not eternal I partially feel like i can't leave untill i know every tiny portion of the mk universe! honestly i think fandom spaces are a great motivator to keep going ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

I love this prompt, OP. Thanks.

Umm. I persist for my partner and our cat, primarily. I persist out of a desire to inflect as less harm as possible. I persist to learn more about the things I'm into. I persist hoping that I can be helpful to those that I care about.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

I persist out of spite.

 

[AshClouds]

I'm chasing after ghosts

 

[iloverilakkuma]

Honestly, my family. My family is very small, just the 4 of us against the world. They deserve someone to be proud of... someone who they can always have. I will always put them first, even if it pains me to keep going. I keep going because I love them, and I wouldn't want to imagine them fighting without me. My passing will only make things worse for them, and they don't deserve any more trouble.

My mother. My mother has been through so much and I want to show her that it wasn't all in vain. I just want to make life a little bit easier for her, even in my final breath. I have grown and I have wilted. I have tried and failed. And it's so hard... it's so hard and it has always been hard and it will probably always be hard. But I have decided that I will never give up.

 

[moondazed]

it's something different everyday, i guess. sometimes, a butterfly on my walk with my dog; occasionally, its a friendly chat with a stranger. often, its a cold beer and a cigarette.

 

[Stripe19]

I just wanna know what keeps you going. let's tell each other. i think this might help noticing more positive sides of living.

my reasoning is simple: i want to meet my best friends irl and see the world!

what is your reason?
and remember, there is no insignificant reason. because things you feel matter.

Bluntly, because things would and have fallen apart with my absence. My wants or needs are not applicable when a ever-growing number of me rely on me so much. Money, Transportation, emotional advice, advisory, and achoring. People need me for a deal of things material or emotional.
And truth be told, i have a hate-love relationship with it. To know that my importance is a fact as true as saying there is air around me. Not a thing of ego off some one or two things, but that my value is high to others. The downside being that while i help different people in different ways, none of those favors are returned by any of them except in very small amount.
Still, beside that, i do enjoy people and socialization. For all my loathing of the metaphorical chains that stay me from the peace i desire, for the rest i can never have, they do still atleast motivate me to press on knowing i would rather see them happy and cared for than not. My empathy is larger than my brain, but i think that is still better than if i had been alone and useless, simply because my love for others is tied with my self hatred, and that stalemate leads to me still being here. Typing at this. I may be suffering, but i am not alone. To any reading this, know that a ring of those you care about will not just fix your life, but it certainly can make it "softer".

 

[SmollMushroom]

Because I choose to
Because I have no other choice atm ;(

 

[kelimackie]

The thought of my parents finding out I died, and everytime my dad asks me if I'm doing okay. My 3 cats, my boyfriend. I think that's why I flip flop so much between wanting to die and wanting to live.

 

[HuskyD'hiver]

I have 3:
1 (And Most Importantly): My loved ones and friends; I could never come to terms with their distraught over me CTBing.
2: To change the world for the better. I know that seems like unrealistically optimistic thinking and for someone who is taking political sciences that the chance of me ever getting into political power or creating major change is incredibly small; however, I view the world as an optimistic nihilist, "If there is no meaning, why do anything differently then you were before? Instead of dreading of how in the far future everything will cease to matter, instead look to the past to make a better present and leave a positive legacy for the near future. As cub scouts say 'Leave the place better than you found it.'".
& 3: Wanting to gain knowledge and enjoy as many forms of media as possible. Despite my urge to CTB, the one thing I would wish for if I had to live a full life, would to be immortal instead. One of my greatest sadness is that you cannot possibly consume all of the pieces of media that you could enjoy, so if I was immortal than I could enjoy every game, every piece of literature, every film, etc.

 

[pole]

hope and wishful thinking that I cannot destroy no matter how hard I try.

i would feel so much better if I wasn't being held back by clinging onto this hope. it's agonizing, but that's what continues to push me ahead, even when I don't want to.

 

[81-Z@P@D]

Mostly my parents and my own curiosity on how it all ends for myself, I have a sinking feeling I might be dying of some kind of cancer though, although it could also just be my crappy genes or bad sleep schedule?

 

[dazed_dreamer]

Depends on the day. Sometimes, it's an appreciation for living itself. Sometimes, it's the idea of helping others with my life, particularly doing something to really help people with depression, suicidal ideation, and/or eating disorders. Other times, it's a fear of hell or being too tired to go through with CTB.

 

[swandive]

I just wanna know what keeps you going. let's tell each other. i think this might help noticing more positive sides of living.

my reasoning is simple: i want to meet my best friends irl and see the world!

what is your reason?
and remember, there is no insignificant reason. because things you feel matter.

I persist bc I've been too scared to die, fear I'll do it wrong and be left worse off than now, and guilt for leaving the few who do care about me. I'm in a really bad head space tonite tho.

 

[larastoned]

My 2024 planner.

 

[SketchedOut]

i ran away from home recently and i'm still blindly hoping that things will get soon better despite everything just getting worse instead...
other than that, it's just my girlfriend and my friends. i know that it'll hurt them when i ctb so i'm trying to hold on for them. especially my girlfriend, since she's the only person i know that truly understands me, and she feels the same about me. and it's so obvious how she's been trying so hard to be a beam of hope in my life, which i am really thankful for. but it's clear that she's also losing faith at this point.

 

[Lullaby]

My cat, which sometimes makes me feel horrible. My parents would obviously be devastated if I did something to myself, but we don't have a good relationship. It feels like my family members are strangers most of the time.

But my cat, it upsets thinking about him not having anyone decent enough to take care of him if I'm not here. So I stick through things for him. Really going through the worst period of my life at the moment, but my cat is worth waking up for.

The minute I actually do wake up, he comes over and starts purring. It makes me feel like I'm not totally useless here, especially compared to how people in my life treat me. So, I'm grateful for him.

I have little hobbies I enjoy escaping into like reading and gaming, but my cat is the main thing that keeps me going for now.

 

[nozomu]

I love my partner. So much. They are my reason to live and breathe and endure whatever I can.

I want to live life with them. One day, I want to get married to them and grow old with them. Go on nice vacations together when we can. Eat tasty foods together and experience cool and fun things together. Laugh and be silly with them. Show them beautiful and unique things and experiences. Share nice touches and cuddles and kisses with them. I want to be there for them whenever they need someone to depend on. I love helping them and doing what I can to make their life better. They showed me I truly can be happy. Now I need to endure so I can reach that life I'd love to share and build with them.

Every day I make a choice, whether it should be a day where I give up, or no. And every day, I choose to live so I can have another day that is the gift of being able to express and share the deep love I have in my heart with them. Another day I can smile and cherish them for the treasure they are. Even through the pain and struggling, they make it worth it. My partner is my best friend and the reason I carry on, and I hope I can get as many days as possible to love them, because even a whole lifetime would not be enough time to express how deep and how profound my love for them is.

I hope I can continue on like this.

 

[vespera]

I love my partner. So much. They are my reason to live and breathe and endure whatever I can.

I want to live life with them. One day, I want to get married to them and grow old with them. Go on nice vacations together when we can. Eat tasty foods together and experience cool and fun things together. Laugh and be silly with them. Show them beautiful and unique things and experiences. Share nice touches and cuddles and kisses with them. I want to be there for them whenever they need someone to depend on. I love helping them and doing what I can to make their life better. They showed me I truly can be happy. Now I need to endure so I can reach that life I'd love to share and build with them.

Every day I make a choice, whether it should be a day where I give up, or no. And every day, I choose to live so I can have another day that is the gift of being able to express and share the deep love I have in my heart with them. Another day I can smile and cherish them for the treasure they are. Even through the pain and struggling, they make it worth it. My partner is my best friend and the reason I carry on, and I hope I can get as many days as possible to love them, because even a whole lifetime would not be enough time to express how deep and how profound my love for them is.

I hope I can continue on like this.

i was gonna say exactly the same thing, but you just said it so much better than i ever couldve hoped to. i endure purely out of love, and i continue because i know there are people who love me just as much as i love them. im not gonna try to say it any better than you did, just because you said it perfectly, so ill just quote you directly. my partner is my best friend and the reason i carry on. i hope i can get as many days as possible to love them, because even a whole lifetime would not be enough time to express how deep and how profound my love for them is.

oh yeah! i also love music and the people ive met through playing and listening to music have been there for me when ive been my worst. the kind of person that is able to give whatever they can for another person has saved me more times than i can count. i live to be that person for someone else.

 

[HighFlight]

I have two children who are in their early 20s. Both have various mental health issues, and one of them has been having suicidal ideation. While my own issues brought me to this site originally, I need to put aside my own problems to help both of them as they transition into adulthood in a messed up world.

Additionally, my ctb would hurt other family members, including my wife and mom.

So while I am stuck here and still able, I will do my best to help people with MH issues with the hopes of making things a little easier on my kids.

it's something different everyday, i guess. sometimes, a butterfly on my walk with my dog; occasionally, its a friendly chat with a stranger. often, its a cold beer and a cigarette.

It's great that you can find inspiration in the little things in life.

 

[nozomu]

i was gonna say exactly the same thing, but you just said it so much better than i ever couldve hoped to. i endure purely out of love, and i continue because i know there are people who love me just as much as i love them. im not gonna try to say it any better than you did, just because you said it perfectly, so ill just quote you directly. my partner is my best friend and the reason i carry on. i hope i can get as many days as possible to love them, because even a whole lifetime would not be enough time to express how deep and how profound my love for them is.

oh yeah! i also love music and the people ive met through playing and listening to music have been there for me when ive been my worst. the kind of person that is able to give whatever they can for another person has saved me more times than i can count. i live to be that person for someone else.

Exactly. I have so much love in my heart to give, and I would like to continue living and loving, the best I can. One day at a time...

 

[dazed_dreamer]

hope and wishful thinking that I cannot destroy no matter how hard I try.

i would feel so much better if I wasn't being held back by clinging onto this hope. it's agonizing, but that's what continues to push me ahead, even when I don't want to.

I'm in the exact same boat. I somehow have clinical depression and yet am a literal undying optimist, to the point others have said my persistent gratitude and looking on the bright side inspires them to do the same, lol.
I have a love-hate relationship with it; it's kept me alive this long and keeps me dreaming, but it also makes me downplay my pain sometimes. Maybe I would have gotten more proper help if I let myself acknowledge how bad things have been.

I love my partner. So much. They are my reason to live and breathe and endure whatever I can.

I want to live life with them. One day, I want to get married to them and grow old with them. Go on nice vacations together when we can. Eat tasty foods together and experience cool and fun things together. Laugh and be silly with them. Show them beautiful and unique things and experiences. Share nice touches and cuddles and kisses with them. I want to be there for them whenever they need someone to depend on. I love helping them and doing what I can to make their life better. They showed me I truly can be happy. Now I need to endure so I can reach that life I'd love to share and build with them.

Every day I make a choice, whether it should be a day where I give up, or no. And every day, I choose to live so I can have another day that is the gift of being able to express and share the deep love I have in my heart with them. Another day I can smile and cherish them for the treasure they are. Even through the pain and struggling, they make it worth it. My partner is my best friend and the reason I carry on, and I hope I can get as many days as possible to love them, because even a whole lifetime would not be enough time to express how deep and how profound my love for them is.

I hope I can continue on like this.

I want to love like this so badly. If you don't mind me asking, how did you cultivate this? How do you build this intimate of a relationship with someone, fueled by such genuine, consistent love and devotion?

 

[Done_Surviving]

Because people are stupid enough to love me and have hope in me. And somehow that just gives me a little hope for myself.
Also my guinea pig, she's a little baby.