Discussion Suicide and the catch-22

[blue_muse]

Hello,


I'm a long-term lurker who finally decided to brave it and join SS, please be gentle with the newbie here folks . Want to start by saying just from the lurking days how warm and inviting a community SS - a true place condemnation or judgement. Apologies if it's too early to get all philosophical (who does the newbie think they are, honestly ?), here it goes...

Suicide seems to be a catch-22. We get encouraged to open up about our feelings in the outside world and get asked what we'd like to change internally and externally - the magic wand question. Personally, been reassured to contact various organisations only to have it thrown back in my face as a taunt within the wider community. But then let's say someone is open about their suicidal thoughts; which may be often, they get branded as 'attention seeking' etc. Yet; going about ending one's life privately is considered selfish, weak, impulsive. Been met with anger from a narcissistic parent for expressing the desire to die, even though it seemed like a safe environment to do speak openly.

It's like we're damned if we do and damned if we don't.


Any thoughts?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I never really understand what these people or people in general want. They don't want me to kill myself but they have no problems with me dying of hypothermia on the streets. They don't want me to be able buy Nembutal but they would start screaming if I landed next to them on the sidewalk. It's all a big joke.

 

[262653]

It's like with psych wards. The way out is to convince the ducktors that you've been successfully indoctrinated into a life cult, and believe that life is unambiguously good. The door is locked and honesty doesn't fit the keyhole.

Another perspective: You're a health freak parent and you've found your child eating processed garbage sweetened by the devious food manufacturers. Good luck reasoning with the child that the putting the tasty toxic wastes in the mouth is not a good idea. Also, good luck reasoning with imbeciles and fools.

 

[blue_muse]

You've got guts to mention N in all its glory GandE , sorry to hear of your situation . It's that whole idea of people not wanting your death on their conscience, but see your trials and tribulations as 'interruptions' to their normality.

Burzolog, I feel some of us are damned even when we walk the path suggested by said professionals. CBT is a good example, when I tried it it seemed to comprise of approaches such as: "Don't like your job, get a different one".

 

[GoneGirl]

Last year I got "outed" as suicidal by a police officer who came to my house & found my notes & plans. Since then I've been totally honest about that time & how I was super suicidal back then.

The response has been mixed if I'm honest.. my mum said I was never suicidal & was making it up. My dad told me that he wouldn't attend the funeral of someone who committed suicide & somebody else told me that it was a 'sob-story'.

I've also had someone tell me that I should commit suicide as it would be a relief to them.

All this makes it seem like I'm a horrible person & I deserve to die. Maybe I am & do deserve to die. But my catch 22 is wanting to stay alive so that people don't have to deal with my death (emotions/ practicalities), whilst at the same time feeling like these same people want me to die.. like it would be better for them.

I think the bottom line for me is people are difficult to understand & they let you down alot. So I will just see what happens in terms of ctb.

 

[pen]

The best I can do is to show everyone that their lives aren't that good, and that I need a way out of this rat race mess, with the most painless method ever devised by the human race.