Suicide and BPD

[Bleunoir]

Hi everyone, I have never posted anything but have been reading here for a while . I was wondering if anyone there is feeling actively suicidal because of borderline personality disorder?
Myself, I was never officially diagnosed though I spent years in therapy. Makes me question the competency of all these mental health providers. Stumbled upon info about BPD and it was like an awakening, suddenly everything made sense. Have anyone been diagnosed?

 

[awfullife]

Hi Lucrezia

I had a spouse that was undiagnosed BPD and the divorce / career fallout caused me to come here. Have you tried DBT?
I wish you well in your journey.

 

[Bleunoir]

Hey! Haven't tried DBT yet. Tired of all these therapists that in the end know nothing. I live in Germany and here therapists don't specialize so most cover all the possible disorders and problems . Hard to find someone competent . Have a great Xmas ! I am drinking wine to survive this day:)

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

Hello, I have bpd and recieved treatement for it. I have suicidal ideations due to the bpd but my want to CTB for me is much more than being bpd. It's very complex as my emotions, moods and sense of self can vary in every extreme. I work hard to manage all my bpd shit, it's exhausting. The desire not to live was there in early childhood and has never changed in me. The thoughts and intent are very different to suicidal ideation in borderline episodes for me.

 

[make_00]

reading what people have to say about people with BPD makes me want to die so much. you google the illness, all you get is people being like 'they are evil, abusive, how do I put up with one' like we aren't human. strong feelings of betrayal have made me feel physical pain so deeply I have just wanted to die so I don't have to feel anything, feel that way, be someone like that. my worst fear is harming someone or making life harder for someone when life is already so hard without anyone on the outside contributing. everything tells me that is all I will do to another. I feel like I have to die

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

The stigma and misunderstanding around bpd is awful. I recommend The Mighty for really good pieces and understanding.
Sadly though bpd can be toxic. I have been fortunate to have some great therapy over most of my life but the bpd and c-ptsd have led me to self isolation. Everything that goes with managing my shit in having any form of relationships or meaningful interactions with others is too much for me.
Bpd is treatable and can be recovered from. Behaviours can be managed, understood and changed. It's not easy, takes times and a lot of hard work.
Understanding it is the key, face the ugly traits and make a better way

 

[Water-Lily]

I relate. as someone with bPD it sucks. The stigma, my emotions I struggle to control, etc. I just wish I wasnt born with this life long disease

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I relate. as someone with bPD it sucks. The stigma, my emotions I struggle to control, etc. I just wish I wasnt born with this life long disease

It is possible to recover from BPD, it doesn't have to be a "life long disease."
Have you been offered DBT?

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I was diagnosed with it but once, I think mainly because I mentioned some outbursts I had. Psychiatrists that I didn't tell (because they didn't ask) didn't diagnose me bpd. I think my suicidal thoughts are more obsessive or because of autism than impulsivity or manipulation that gets accused of people with BPD. It's a terrible label to have, I was treated differently straight away

 

[painoflife]

Is there any way you could talk about the possibility of a BPD diagnosis or is it something you don't wish to have officially diagnosed? I can understand both wanting and not wanting to know for sure. I hope that even doing your own research can help and you can look at ways to make things easier for yourself

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Is there any way you could talk about the possibility of a BPD diagnosis or is it something you don't wish to have officially diagnosed? I can understand both wanting and not wanting to know for sure. I hope that even doing your own research can help and you can look at ways to make things easier for yourself

The worst label/diagnosis to have. I think @Milo S is better off without it.

 

[painoflife]

The worst label/diagnosis to have. I think @Milo S is better off without it.

Yes I agree that it is a terrible thing to be diagnosed with and you risk treated differently when they see that label. I have this problem myself to the extent that they have said I have strong traits but not officially diagnosed me (yet).
I guess it is a toss up between understanding why you feel the way you do, and not wanting to be treated differently because of it.

 

[sadstuffie]

i have suspected i have bpd for years, but my family will not allow me to go get diagnosed sadly. but i would say all of my suicidal episodes & attemps (except for one when I was VERY I'll & in lots of pain) were because of my bpd tendencies.

 

[Water-Lily]

It is possible to recover from BPD, it doesn't have to be a "life long disease."
Have you been offered DBT?

not at the moment. I work with a trauma thrapist who is letting me do things at my own pace. But the reality is that BPD is something I will always have to deal with regardless of how much therapy I do :(

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

I must be one of the few where getting a diagnosis of bpd has been a good thing for me. I've been able to get specialist treatment for bpd where previous therapies hadn't helped. The right therapy has helped a lot, changed a lot of my behaviours but now addressing the trauma. Hard, exhausting, painful and long work but I know for some bpd can be recovered from, or managed well enough to not always feel as shit as I may now. Not all that convinced I can get to that point myself, but for now I have the means to keep trying, well some days I do. Ask me again tomorrow and it's all a load of bullshit and there's no hope. Oh the joy of instabilty.

 

[Secrets1]

Biggest problem related to the instability is I exhaust people. Also most of the time I'm "too nice" but once deciding to pushback am content to cause all the mental chaos and judgement towards others that's been thrown at me. People say BPD makes it difficult to manipulate. Don't like to do that but can effectively manipulate someone's feelings touching on or avoiding their most delicates parts of one's psyche as a reaction in retribution. Roller coaster that'll mercifully stop for some. Case and point, few days ago I was kind of optimistic despite some negatives. Now in bed last 18/24 hours. There's more to the story, doesn't matter that's the familial gist. #BPD

 

[_Kaira_]

Been diagnosed with BPD myself. It's hell. The extreme emotional instability causes rifts with anyone I have ever come to know and love in my life.
I only wish it was the only BS I have to deal with, ha.

 

[Water-Lily]

Been diagnosed with BPD myself. It's hell. The extreme emotional instability causes rifts with anyone I have ever come to know and love in my life.
I only wish it was the only BS I have to deal with, ha.

Same. I have BPD and a dick younger brother

 

[PureMetanoia]

I have been diagnosed when I was 19 with another personality disorder in the same category - axis B dramatic as classified in the DSM-IV (probs V too); took me 3-4 years of therapy to get in under control and it wasn't even BPD, which is the harshest.

I'd definitely see why someone with BPD would prefer to CTB instead of living in Hell and causing it to those around them :/

 

[Water-Lily]

I have been diagnosed when I was 19 with another personality disorder in the same category - axis B dramatic as classified in the DSM-IV (probs V too); took me 3-4 years of therapy to get in under control and it wasn't even BPD, which is the harshest.

I'd definitely see why someone with BPD would prefer to CTB instead of living in Hell and causing it to those around them :/

absolutely. It is a nightmare especially when you're being abused

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

The worst label/diagnosis to have. I think @Milo S is better off without it.

being labled a psychopath is no picnic either.. good luck hope things get better

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I've known several users on here who have the BPD diagnosis. It sounds like an incredibly difficult thing to deal with. From my interactions with BPD diagnosed individuals, I've found them to be often be creative, intelligent and compassionate.
The stigma that surrounds the diagnosis is appalling and unfair.
The very term: personality disorder just seems so discriminatory and dismissive. I've no doubt the issues that come with it are potentially impossible to live with, but the individuals I've met on here with that diagnosis have mostly been amazing people that I've been happy to know.

 

[Water-Lily]

I've known several users on here who have the BPD diagnosis. It sounds like an incredibly difficult thing to deal with. From my interactions with BPD diagnosed individuals, I've found them to be often be creative, intelligent and compassionate.
The stigma that surrounds the diagnosis is appalling and unfair.
The very term: personality disorder just seems so discriminatory and dismissive. I've no doubt the issues that come with it are potentially impossible to live with, but the individuals I've met on here with that diagnosis have mostly been amazing people that I've been happy to know.

thats super sweet. Sadly I cannot her acknowledge im a good person

 

[Deleted member 1465]

thats super sweet. Sadly I cannot her acknowledge im a good person

I don't know you, so I can't say. But in my experience, those that are nasty at the core, for whom BPD may bring out those unpleasant underlying characteristics, are seldom the ones that say what you just did. They rarely easily recognise their faults in the way you appear to do.

 

[Water-Lily]

I don't know you, so I can't say. But in my experience, those that are nasty at the core, for whom BPD may bring out those unpleasant underlying characteristics, are seldom the ones that say what you just did. They rarely easily recognise their faults in the way you appear to do.

thank you. Man if I could switch brains with someone I would. But I also wouldnt someone to live with a brain as messed up as mine. it sucks man

 

[RockBot]

How Borderline Personality Disorder Is Treated

The treatment of borderline personality disorder mainly involves talk therapy and sometimes medications. Learn the challenges and prognosis of BPD therapy.

www.verywellhealth.com

I found this useful, thought you might too.

 

[Water-Lily]

I must be one of the few where getting a diagnosis of bpd has been a good thing for me. I've been able to get specialist treatment for bpd where previous therapies hadn't helped. The right therapy has helped a lot, changed a lot of my behaviours but now addressing the trauma. Hard, exhausting, painful and long work but I know for some bpd can be recovered from, or managed well enough to not always feel as shit as I may now. Not all that convinced I can get to that point myself, but for now I have the means to keep trying, well some days I do. Ask me again tomorrow and it's all a load of bullshit and there's no hope. Oh the joy of instabilty.

Basically me in a nutshell :(

 

[loopylou]

Yes i suffer with that condition. And I mean SUFFER. the pain of living with the damage is unbearable

Hi everyone, I have never posted anything but have been reading here for a while . I was wondering if anyone there is feeling actively suicidal because of borderline personality disorder?
Myself, I was never officially diagnosed though I spent years in therapy. Makes me question the competency of all these mental health providers. Stumbled upon info about BPD and it was like an awakening, suddenly everything made sense. Have anyone been diagnosed?

I was diagnosed 7 years ago nearly. I'm on various antipsychotic, antidepressants, anxiety meds, panic attack meds. There's nothing left of me except a bunch of molecules walking around empty. If you can get talking therapy before any meds I would try that

 

[highndry]

An unsuccessful attempt about 10 years ago led to my hospitalisation and subsequent diagnosis of BPD.

Ironically my desire to CTB actually currently stems from a terminal illness xD