Help Suggestions on how to overcome SI

[Astume]

Sorry if this post is redundant, but can anyone suggest ways on how to overcome SI? I know that I no longer wish to live but don't have the energy to actually end my life because I feel so lazy and empty. I don't have access to drugs or alcohol, so that's not an option. I've tried desensitizing myself to death by watching news on suicide, reading forums, etc., but nothing seems to work; maybe I haven't suffered enough? I have a week at most before making another attempt, and I want to make sure I don't back out again from partial hanging for the nth time. I just need to power through those 20 seconds, then I'll lose consciousness and die eventually.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that if I knew the answer, I would already be gone. Hanging does sound like such a difficult method because of the SI and I have never personally attempted because of fear of it going wrong. Of course many people have managed to overcome the SI and I think that many of them were likely desperate to leave and the pain of living got to be unbearable for them.

Suicide really is so difficult after all and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I wish that there is a way to peacefully pass away without having to go through the process of planning ctb, I wish that it is easier to leave more than anything. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

1- Impulse>SI 2- Quick method>SI

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Sorry if this post is redundant, but can anyone suggest ways on how to overcome SI? I know that I no longer wish to live but don't have the energy to actually end my life because I feel so lazy and empty. I don't have access to drugs or alcohol, so that's not an option. I've tried desensitizing myself to death by watching news on suicide, reading forums, etc., but nothing seems to work; maybe I haven't suffered enough? I have a week at most before making another attempt, and I want to make sure I don't back out again from partial hanging for the nth time. I just need to power through 20 seconds, then I'll lose consciousness and die eventually.

i've been feeling so trapped. They made ctb so difficult. And then i'm so worried about even if i get and take SN or N then my SI might try to call for help or others could find me and interrupt me. So i would then be rushed to the hospital and resuscitated maybe with brain damage after they resuscitate me. They have most people believing that they have to stop you from committing suicide calling an ambulance or authorities even if you mention that you want to ctb.

It would be so much easier for me to take SN if i could be 99% sure that my Si or someone might not try to stop my ctb attempt or interrupt it. This doubt is what is stopping me, the fear of failure compounded by the fact they make it so difficult to isolate yourself from other humans. i've searched and can't find any camping etc. where there are no humans nearby. i never camped so i don't have any experience but i'm tired of searching and it is so expensive to drive to campgrounds and everything. Every camp i went to has had a lot of people in the U.S.A.

I live in an apartment alone but i want to be far away from people so that i don't try to go run for help or call etc.
i can't find a place of solitude . And they say suicide is so easy . no it's extremely difficult . the devil is in the details. i just want to escape imminent extreme torture . i'm kinda hoping the gasoline keeps going up then maybe they'll stop taking road trips and camping but then it'll be more expensive for me too but i just need one trip. i can't stand living nor existence.

i'm also worried that a few minutes after taking N or SN that i would be in a lowered state of consciousness and then my Si would kick in or just kick in instantly after drinking it.

i might have to use a rifle or shotgun to blow my head off because that is instant if i hit the brainstem no pain.

 

[Eternaloblivionplea]

Drugs can take away your survival instinct

 

[lostmyacc]

Drugs can take away your survival instinct

What ones would you recommend?

 

[Eternaloblivionplea]

I don't know for sure. Alcohol and benzos are anxiolytics, people who die sucessfully by suicide have taken them first. Also psychedelics can cause ego death so potentially an option, although could end up in a psychiatric ward haha.

 

[hankbank3928]

Propananol is prescribed for performance anxiety. Could a large dose of that suffice?

 

[September5th]

You just need to hit that rock bottom... I think I just did that today. If I had the materials for doing it, tonight would be my last day on Earth. Just don't give a shit anymore. It's funny hehe

 

[nena21]

What sptember said pretty much. Best way is to make sure you have nothing left to live for.
I will be homeless in 48 Hours. Im fucking terrified of death but I better be gone soon...

 

[Deleted member 847]

When I hanged myself I didn't realize I was dying, I thought I was practicing.
Then it got me thinking. What happens when you see an ugly bug that flies in your face? It usually takes your subconscious 1 second
to understand that you might be in danger, and then give you that "fear" reflex feeling.
So, if you can make your subconscious be oblivious to your environment and to that fact that you might be doing dangerous things,
then you won't feel the survival instinct anymore.
Last night you slept on your bed right? Why did you do that, without being afraid of anything? Because
in your subconscious sleeping on your bed doesn't = existential threat. So you slept without problems.
If Last night you knew there was a crazy guy in your house that could've raped or killed you if he found you sleeping
on that bed, then you wouldn't have slept on your bed. In that case your subconscious would have thought
Sleeping on your bed does = existential threat.
If you turn off the light in your room, and there are nails on the floor, because you don't know (your subconscious doesn't know either, for all you know they don't exist in the room, you've never seen them in it) you're going to be confident to walk on them. It's not because you're stupid and you want to "confidently" walk on nails. You're smart, and you thought you were "confidently" walking on the floor. if you turn on the lights, that "confidence" will quickly fade away. Your subconscious will think that it doesn't want to walk on nails.
I don't know how to explain it to you, by I somehow managed to make myself believe that "the dizziness" of hanging wasn't dangerous, or that I had power over it.

 

[Niente]

Sadly, we are hard wired to fight for survival. Even when we are emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted, there is that instinct within us we can't control. I know alcohol was my go to for numbing the senses but then I'm to drunk to function, and life goes on - the irony. I think the only real way to overcome SI is with help but that is generally not an option.

 

[Deleted member 847]

Sadly, we are hard wired to fight for survival. Even when we are emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted, there is that instinct within us we can't control. I know alcohol was my go to for numbing the senses but then I'm to drunk to function, and life goes on - the irony. I think the only real way to overcome SI is with help but that is generally not an option.

After reading your comment I thought of a guy pushing me from a cliff.
"You're welcome"
"I don't wanna die AAAAAAAAA"
"that's something your survival instinct would say"
"You'll go to jail for life and get raped in the showers x_X"

I know this isn't a place for jokes, sorry.

 

[Niente]

After reading your comment I thought of a guy pushing me from a cliff.
"You're welcome"
"I don't wanna die AAAAAAAAA"
"that's something your survival instinct would say"
"You'll go to jail for life and get raped in the showers x_X"

I know this isn't a place for jokes, sorry.

There is always a place for jokes - You made me smile.

 

[Snatsbats]

I just think like this. I either die and i will experience consiouseness somewhere else or it will just all end. Either way im not going to suffer anymore.

"But what if i will recover and have a great life after that?" i hear you say? Well, you will die eventually and all those experiences that you have gained will be gone forever. It doesnt matter if you live another year or 40 more years. Life is meaningless on its own, so if you are not happy it doesnt matter.

A happy life is better than nonexistence, but nonexistence is better than a unhappy life full of suffering.

I think you need to come to a point where you will know that you have failed and you will never get on top anymore.

I think my life can get better, but it can never be great, because i have ADHD so i fuck things up daily. I am socially awkward and have no status, i have no humor and im not creative, so no women will ever respect me. My destiny is to be a loser. Its just how my brain has developed and i cant change my brain.

 

[lostmyacc]

You could do things like trick yourself.
For example if you had nembutal you could pour a glass next to side of your bed.
When you first wakeup in the morning you could do something like, when the feeling of ' i want to die' hits, like it does for me first thing in the morning. Drink it all and then go back to sleep. Only problem is you'll never wakeup again...