Venting struggling. can't put it into words. need help.

[illvoid]

i think i need some kind of emotional support i dont know i really don't want to ask I don't want to take up anyone's time I don't want to drain anyone's energy I can't ask anyone in my personal life they're so fucking tired of me I really need help I can't keep doing this I can't sleep I feel suicidal from the moment my meds wear off to the moment I take them again I can't take it anymore and I know I'll never be enough I'm so sorry for posting this here I'm really sorry

 

[brokeandbroken]

i think i need some kind of emotional support i dont know i really don't want to ask I don't want to take up anyone's time I don't want to drain anyone's energy I can't ask anyone in my personal life they're so fucking tired of me I really need help I can't keep doing this I can't sleep I feel suicidal from the moment my meds wear off to the moment I take them again I can't take it anymore and I know I'll never be enough I'm so sorry for posting this here I'm really sorry

What's up?

 

[illvoid]

What's up?

so fucking codependent, have a close friend who I rely on almost completely for emotional stability and i know it's causing her problems but I don't know what to do. feel like a shit person, wish I could CTB but currently in a facility (non psych, but still). therapist is only able to see me once a month, and I'm trying really hard to keep myself together but I cant function like a normal person the instant my medication is out of my system. i have the emotional maturity of a fucking child and I don't know where to even start getting better. im really sorry for all this I know I'm just a random person on this stupid forum you shouldn't have to read all this.

 

[brokeandbroken]

so fucking codependent, have a close friend who I rely on almost completely for emotional stability and i know it's causing her problems but I don't know what to do. feel like a shit person, wish I could CTB but currently in a facility (non psych, but still). therapist is only able to see me once a month, and I'm trying really hard to keep myself together but I cant function like a normal person the instant my medication is out of my system. i have the emotional maturity of a fucking child and I don't know where to even start getting better. im really sorry for all this I know I'm just a random person on this stupid forum you shouldn't have to read all this.

It's difficult to know what to say. Because in describing your problems you inherently tell yourself you know what needs to be changed. If therapy helps get a second therapist or use a site like 7Cups. As far as being codependent figure out all the ways your relationships with people are unhealthy and change them.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

well, we are here to listen if that helps.
well, we are here to listen if that helps.

 

[illvoid]

It's difficult to know what to say. Because in describing your problems you inherently tell yourself you know what needs to be changed. If therapy helps get a second therapist or use a site like 7Cups. As far as being codependent figure out all the ways your relationships with people are unhealthy and change them.

unable to change my schedule right now due to my living situation so therapy through other means is not an option. codependency wise, I know how my relationships are unhealthy but I struggle to find alternatives or other ways to cope. i am trying to work on that, but only I can know where to start and I really don't. i have never been able to suffer in silence, I always feel a need to tell someone and it becomes a habit, almost routine. same person, constantly. i appreciate you trying to help and I'm sorry if it is coming across like I'm not taking advice. i really would like to ctb tonight if I could but I know this is fixable and that would be a shitty way out.

 

[brokeandbroken]

unable to change my schedule right now due to my living situation so therapy through other means is not an option. codependency wise, I know how my relationships are unhealthy but I struggle to find alternatives or other ways to cope. i am trying to work on that, but only I can know where to start and I really don't. i have never been able to suffer in silence, I always feel a need to tell someone and it becomes a habit, almost routine. same person, constantly. i appreciate you trying to help and I'm sorry if it is coming across like I'm not taking advice. i really would like to ctb tonight if I could but I know this is fixable and that would be a shitty way out.

I'm not sure I understand. Your schedule is so busy that you can only talk to a therapist once a month despite needing it?

 

[illvoid]

I'm not sure I understand. Your schedule is so busy that you can only talk to a therapist once a month despite needing it?

no. i am a job corps student, my schedule is not my decision.

 

[brokeandbroken]

no. i am a job corps student, my schedule is not my decision.

First and foremost wish I knew that existed when I was young can't say I did. 7Cups is available 24/7 though.

 

[godsseepiestsoldier]

If you ever need someone feel free to dm me. Ill always be down to listen