strange thoughts

[Jamesun]

Lately I've been thinking a lot about committing suicide, I've thought that I'm a load of shit that should die, I can't stop feeling afraid and suffering, I can't find a way to stop feeling like this. Although no matter how hard I try, I can't even kill myself, I see my friends and my girlfriend watching how they study and do other things and I'm just asking myself slowly like the shit I am, I don't even know why I'm here, I'm not someone intelligent or I'm good at something, I feel like I'm only here to suffer and I think my life is collapsing and I have nothing to do.

 

[just_a_guy]

I've been where you are, thinking I'm a POS and that I'm useless. I used to mentally abuse the shit out of myself. The problem with that is that it becomes a habit and then you start to believe it. It took a while for me to move away from that thinking but it required constant "checking of myself", having an internal dialogue to counteract that voice. I also had to learn patience with myself and that has made a big difference. I can't say whether these things will help you but in my experience it was difficult to overcome but worth it.