Stabbing my heart with an axe until i die

[Rudi]

Understood

Yeah i know, its awful

hey man, really, you got this. you got people right here supporting you, please try holding on, were here for you! <3

 

[hearball]

I do have a playlist but thanks anyways, anyways how do i physically embody the era im missing? It will inmerse me more in this escape

bro do you want to do c programming ?

 

[FriendDeath]

bro do you want to do c programming ?

Programming wouldnt be the greatest idea right now, too much for my head

hey man, really, you got this. you got people right here supporting you, please try holding on, were here for you! <3

Thank you

 

[hearball]

Programming wouldnt be the greatest idea right now, too much for my head

Thank you

then tell me what you want to do . i might as well learn something new .

 

[FriendDeath]

then tell me what you want to do . i might as well learn something new .

Uhh anything that could help me age regress to that era of my life im missing

Uhh anything that could help me age regress to that era of my life im missing

Maybe?

 

[hearball]

Uhh anything that could help me age regress to that era of my life im missing

Maybe?

how old are you ?

 

[FriendDeath]

how old are you ?

22

 

[hearball]

22

i am in that range as well . so which era you want live again . specify the age range .

 

[shinigami_1992]

I do have a playlist but thanks anyways, anyways how do i physically embody the era im missing? It will inmerse me more in this escape

I do Not entirely, exactly understand what you want to do or achieve? About the missing era of coma? Physical embody aspect?

I lost a lot of life, days out of my life bcuz of health issues X staying in bed. Like I was conscious but not really living the life I wanted. I consider those periods of treatment X recovery as missing life too.

Like you just have to accept it for what it was. Past is gone and you will never change it. You just can re write your future. Think of it as lost life but you have to accept life fir what it is. Get best out of presence X future left. Let past go. In my opinion is best you can do as solution.

If you really suffer inside bcuz of that, you can use notebook to write out what went down X circumstances of events that led to coma and how you can be stronger out of that. Notebook and pen my friend

 

[FriendDeath]

i am in that range as well . so which era you want live again . specify the age range .

The era im missing is 10 to 14

 

[shinigami_1992]

The era im missing is 10 to 14

Oh. I get what you are saying now

 

[FriendDeath]

I do Not entirely, exactly understand what you want to do or achieve? About the missing era of coma? Physical embody aspect?

I lost a lot of life, days out of my life bcuz of health issues X staying in bed. Like I was conscious but not really living the life I wanted. I consider those periods of treatment X recovery as missing life too.

Like you just have to accept it for what it was. Past is gone and you will never change it. You just can re write your future. Think of it as lost life but you have to accept life fir what it is. Get best out of presence X future left. Let past go. In my opinion is best you can do as solution.

If you really suffer inside bcuz of that, you can use notebook to write out what went down X circumstances of events that led to coma and how you can be stronger out of that. Notebook and pen my friend

Age regressing is been helping quite alot but sometimes it gets too difficult

 

[shinigami_1992]

The era im missing is 10 to 14

So what is the things you miss most? Like friendships? Cuddles? Typical teen things like first kisses X dates?

Toys? Games? Music? TV shows?

 

[FriendDeath]

Oh. I get what you are saying now

Yea what can i do then, i was also much into like emo and scene culture, just like now, it never was a phase for me

So what is the things you miss most? Like friendships? Cuddles? Typical teen things like first kisses X dates?

Toys? Games? Music? TV shows?

I have that whole era missing from my life because of a coma that happened because of school bullying

 

[hearball]

The era im missing is 10 to 14

ok . so now we have to narrow it down even more . Do you want to live like the 10 - 14 year ods of 2010's or of the 2020's because how adolescents grow now have kinda changed .

 

[FriendDeath]

ok . so now we have to narrow it down even more . Do you want to live like the 10 - 14 year lods of 2010's or of the 2020's because how adolescents grow now have kinda changed .

2010s please

 

[hearball]

2010s please

then i guess open youtube and checkout the 2011 - 2015 videos to see how these age groups behaved and then maybe try out things that overlap between lives of 10-14 year olds and 20 year olds .

 

[FriendDeath]

then i guess open youtube and checkout the 2011 - 2015 videos to see how these age groups behaved and then maybe try out things that overlap between lives of 10-14 year olds and 20 year olds .

Can u give me some firefox extension for the whole layout part?

Can u give me some firefox extension for the whole layout part?

For the extra immersion

 

[hearball]

Can u give me some firefox extension for the whole layout part?

For the extra immersion

i don't use firefox but anyway search up the subreddit r/firefox . you may get what you are looing for .

 

[shinigami_1992]

Yea what can i do then, i was also much into like emo and scene culture, just like now, it never was a phase for me

I have that whole era missing from my life because of a coma that happened because of school bullying

Like I obviously GET ALL OF THAT.

Well. You are very young. It's still entirely acceptable for you to continue emo phase for couple of years X extension of childhood as long as you avoid in runs with law due to emo prejudice and your age bcuz things can be understood wrongfully.

As for era missing-just tell me what you want to achieve. Like nobody X nothing stops you to watch cartoons X movies. Nobody stops you from having toys for emotional needs.

The only thing, I'd recommend you see psychiatrist and get relevant evidences X supporting documents about what, why etc to protect self from legal issues eg. Why adult, 22yo trans man watches kids shows and wear strange clothes X have toys in house. You know, things can be read X understand in wrong way

 

[FriendDeath]

i don't use firefox but anyway search up the subreddit r/firefox . you may get what you are looing for .

Actually i do use startube already, it might be buggy but it sort of works, now what else will i need to inmerse myself
T

Like I obviously GET ALL OF THAT.

Well. You are very young. It's still entirely acceptable for you to continue emo phase for couple of years X extension of childhood as long as you avoid in runs with law due to emo prejudice and your age bcuz things can be understood wrongfully.

As for era missing-just tell me what you want to achieve. Like nobody X nothing stops you to watch cartoons X movies. Nobody stops you from having toys for emotional needs.

The only thing, I'd recommend you see psychiatrist and get relevant evidences X supporting documents about what, why etc to protect self from legal issues eg. Why adult, 22yo trans man watches kids shows and wear strange clothes X have toys in house. You know, things can be read X understand in wrong way

This just offended me, i was just embodying my missing era just now, gosh its so hard to just manage this, it really is

 

[hearball]

Actually i do use startube already, it might be buggy but it sort of works, now what else will i need to inmerse myself

idk man .

 

[FriendDeath]

And is that something ill have to carry with me all the time?

Actually i do use startube already, it might be buggy but it sort of works, now what else will i need to inmerse myself
T

This just offended me, i was just embodying my missing era just now, gosh its so hard to just manage this, it really is

 

[redkitsune98]

Amigo, si de verdad eliges tirar tu propia vida, esto no es una buena manera de hacerlo y estudiando en esto foro vas a ver otros métodos mucho mejores. Pero busca antes entender tu dolor y hacer amistades que te ayudarán a entender si realmente estás haciendo la elección correcta o si hay cosas que podrían hacerte sentirse feliz con tu vida. Eres muy joven y tienes todo el tiempo para entender cómo estás de verdad. Hablame en chat si lo quieres

 

[shinigami_1992]

Like I obviously GET ALL OF THAT.

Well. You are very young. It's still entirely acceptable for you to continue emo phase for couple of years X extension of childhood as long as you avoid in runs with law due to emo prejudice and your age bcuz things can be understood wrongfully.

As for era missing-just tell me what you want to achieve. Like nobody X nothing stops you to watch cartoons X movies. Nobody stops you from having toys for emotional needs.

The only thing, I'd recommend you see psychiatrist and get relevant evidences X supporting documents about what, why etc to protect self from legal issues eg. Why adult, 22yo trans man watches kids shows and wear strange clothes X have toys in house. You know, things can be read X understand in wrong way

As for 2012-2016 it was Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift era plus maybe One Direction but depends on music genre

Like, I'd say you have freedom to make X recreate own childhood in way. Like you could be relieving it as somebody advised with past childhood idols or present teen kids idols. It's strange but I get all of it.

 

[FriendDeath]

Like I obviously GET ALL OF THAT.

Well. You are very young. It's still entirely acceptable for you to continue emo phase for couple of years X extension of childhood as long as you avoid in runs with law due to emo prejudice and your age bcuz things can be understood wrongfully.

As for era missing-just tell me what you want to achieve. Like nobody X nothing stops you to watch cartoons X movies. Nobody stops you from having toys for emotional needs.

The only thing, I'd recommend you see psychiatrist and get relevant evidences X supporting documents about what, why etc to protect self from legal issues eg. Why adult, 22yo trans man watches kids shows and wear strange clothes X have toys in house. You know, things can be read X understand in wrong way

Is this something ill have to carry with me all the time or no, i dont want it breaking the aesthetic

As for 2012-2016 it was Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift era plus maybe One Direction but depends on music genre

Like, I'd say you have freedom to make X recreate own childhood in way. Like you could be relieving it as somebody advised with past childhood idols or present teen kids idols. It's strange but I get all of it.

Understood

Is this something ill have to carry with me all the time or no, i dont want it breaking the aesthetic

Understood

But will all that evidence or papera and such u talking about break my aesthetics as i have to carry them with me all the time?

 

[shinigami_1992]

Is this something ill have to carry with me all the time or no, i dont want it breaking the aesthetic

Understood

Well. I am just trying to watch out for you bcuz you know.

You have LAW. LAW doesn't care your medical issues X childhood internal drama. They may get you for any suspicions, false allegations etc. any crazy mothers accusations and so on.

Like I don't want you end up in jail forever for false accusations or be charged with eh sexual offences. I KNKW IT OFFENDS you but welcome to life reality bro. Your emotional X personal recovery-legal X criminal system gives no sh*t about that or about what is going on inside of you X where your behaviour is coming from.

I know it bcuz how NHS X UK legal system fucked me up.

Ppl can get things wrong. Even therapists can get things wrong X report you somewhere if they suspect you may be hurting somebody X they read things wrong X misjudge you. Ppl are CRAZY and that includes mental health staff and doctors. They don't care who you are on inside DND what your individual life X timeframe is.

I'd recommend getting psychiatry visits. Preferably audio recorded fir evidences of your words X mindset to avoid confusions X misunderstanding bcuz this is how deluded NHS predatory X grooming X abusive NHS staff gave me entirely fabricated massive major psychiatric history.

Yeah. Letter on you at ALL times. You don't want go jail for false accusations regarding eg. Grooming or other offences

 

[FriendDeath]

Well. I am just trying to watch out for you bcuz you know.

You have LAW. LAW doesn't care your medical issues X childhood internal drama. They may get you for any suspicions, false allegations etc. any crazy mothers accusations and so on.

Like I don't want you end up in jail forever for false accusations or be charged with eh sexual offences. I KNKW IT OFFENDS you but welcome to life reality bro. Your emotional X personal recovery-legal X criminal system gives no sh*t about that or about what is going on inside of you X where your behaviour is coming from.

I know it bcuz how NHS X UK legal system fucked me up.

Ppl can get things wrong. Even therapists can get things wrong X report you somewhere if they suspect you may be hurting somebody X they read things wrong X misjudge you. Ppl are CRAZY and that includes mental health staff and doctors. They don't care who you are on inside DND what your individual life X timeframe is.

I'd recommend getting psychiatry visits. Preferably audio recorded fir evidences of your words X mindset to avoid confusions X misunderstanding bcuz this is how deluded NHS predatory X grooming X abusive NHS staff gave me entirely fabricated massive major psychiatric history.

Yeah. Letter on you at ALL times. You don't want go jail for false accusations regarding eg. Grooming or other offences

Will it break my aesthetic, i dont want it to break my aesthetic, they wont help with that im guessing?

 

[shinigami_1992]

Is this something ill have to carry with me all the time or no, i dont want it breaking the aesthetic

Understood

But will all that evidence or papera and such u talking about break my aesthetics as i have to carry them with me all the time?

Like I could tell you my story X timeframe of events and how drs and ppl who were supposed to help me in reality got everything bad and f*cked me up worse and destroyed my life.

I'd rather offend you now over online chat, to warn X protect you X your future and your freedom, than have you end up in jail for no reason. I get what you went thru bcuz I went thru other and similar things too. Not in childhood but in young adulthood 19-21 and well, is complex. More complex than your 4years but I just want to protect you

 

[FriendDeath]

Like I could tell you my story X timeframe of events and how drs and ppl who were supposed to help me in reality got everything bad and f*cked me up worse and destroyed my life.

I'd rather offend you now over online chat, to warn X protect you X your future and your freedom, than have you end up in jail for no reason. I get what you went thru bcuz I went thru other and similar things too. Not in childhood but in young adulthood 19-21 and well, is complex. More complex than your 4years but I just want to protect you

Thanks but how can i atleast not have that letter break my aesthetic tho
The whole world has become a race for who is the most corrupt person anyways

Like I could tell you my story X timeframe of events and how drs and ppl who were supposed to help me in reality got everything bad and f*cked me up worse and destroyed my life.

I'd rather offend you now over online chat, to warn X protect you X your future and your freedom, than have you end up in jail for no reason. I get what you went thru bcuz I went thru other and similar things too. Not in childhood but in young adulthood 19-21 and well, is complex. More complex than your 4years but I just want to protect you

Please i would want to know