SO HUNGRY

[thankyouforthis]

Just typing because I literally don't know what else to do. I'm in a situation whereby I am STARVING and yet I cannot eat any food. I have very little food in the house to begin with and for reasons I don't want to get into, I don't even have access to THAT. So I'm just starving and crying right now and I assume someone reading this is going to be doing at least one of those things, maybe both, and I guess I figured I'd say hey! How ya doin'?

 

[Crow_88]

Are you okay? Like, are you safe?

 

[777cave]

Hey, doesn't sound fun. I imagine you're looking for distraction. Want to keep writing?

 

[thankyouforthis]

Uhhh well I'm hoping it'll be over soon but like there are other people here and I don't have enough food to go around, was not told anyone would be coming here, and I was raised that you always offer company things and you never have something in front of company that you don't share. So I'm waiting for everyone to GTFO of here so I can grab what little food I do have and eat it. The funny thing is I'm not even a huge eater, have been accused of having an eating disorder my entire life (not even saying it's not true; I genuinely do not know) but I haven't eaten all day and I was looking forward to scraping together a little something for myself and then this happened.

I know people will probably think I'm being stupid and I should just eat in front of these other people but they're in my home and it's just so contrary to how I was raised that I can't do it. I just can't. Instead I'm hiding in my bedroom practically PRAYING that they'll leave (and chewing on bits of paper).

Are you okay? Like, are you safe?

Yea safe technically thanks for asking. Just sad that I'm in this position and no one here knows and there's no end in sight. I don't even know if I'll be able to stay up long enough to eat something when people leave. And what if they sleep over?! Ugh. It's one thing when folks decide intentionally to do a fast or whatever but it's different when you're forced into one. Psychologically, it's much worse. The paper trick helps but only for so long and it's probably not good for you lol, like I bet there are chemicals in the paper that are bad for you.

 

[777cave]

Uhhh well I'm hoping it'll be over soon but like there are other people here and I don't have enough food to go around, was not told anyone would be coming here, and I was raised that you always offer company things and you never have something in front of company that you don't share. So I'm waiting for everyone to GTFO of here so I can grab what little food I do have and eat it. The funny thing is I'm not even a huge eater, have been accused of having an eating disorder my entire life (not even saying it's not true; I genuinely do not know) but I haven't eaten all day and I was looking forward to scraping together a little something for myself and then this happened.

I know people will probably think I'm being stupid and I should just eat in front of these other people but they're in my home and it's just so contrary to how I was raised that I can't do it. I just can't. Instead I'm hiding in my bedroom practically PRAYING that they'll leave (and chewing on bits of paper).

Yea safe technically thanks for asking. Just sad that I'm in this position and no one here knows and there's no end in sight. I don't even know if I'll be able to stay up long enough to eat something when people leave. And what if they sleep over?! Ugh. It's one thing when folks decide intentionally to do a fast or whatever but it's different when you're forced into one. Psychologically, it's much worse. The paper trick helps but only for so long and it's probably not good for you lol, like I bet there are chemicals in the paper that are bad for you.

Yeah, how you were brought up can really do a number on you, like is it worth it to eat if you'll feel guilty? Have you loaded up on water or does that not help?

 

[thankyouforthis]

Water helps but no I don't have any more of that. It's not so much that I'll feel guilty; these people have more money than I do. I'm not making them starve! It's just that it's rude and I feel like they won't like me as much ESPECIALLY if someone asks directly, "Hey, can I have some?" like am I supposed to say NO? Also if you saw the food it's like how do you share that? It's literally some stale bread and some chickpeas I'm hoping are not spoiled. That's the scrumptious meal for which I'm waiting. If the chickpeas are spoiled, it's just bread.

 

[Crow_88]

Uhhh well I'm hoping it'll be over soon but like there are other people here and I don't have enough food to go around, was not told anyone would be coming here, and I was raised that you always offer company things and you never have something in front of company that you don't share. So I'm waiting for everyone to GTFO of here so I can grab what little food I do have and eat it. The funny thing is I'm not even a huge eater, have been accused of having an eating disorder my entire life (not even saying it's not true; I genuinely do not know) but I haven't eaten all day and I was looking forward to scraping together a little something for myself and then this happened.

I know people will probably think I'm being stupid and I should just eat in front of these other people but they're in my home and it's just so contrary to how I was raised that I can't do it. I just can't. Instead I'm hiding in my bedroom practically PRAYING that they'll leave (and chewing on bits of paper).

Yea safe technically thanks for asking. Just sad that I'm in this position and no one here knows and there's no end in sight. I don't even know if I'll be able to stay up long enough to eat something when people leave. And what if they sleep over?! Ugh. It's one thing when folks decide intentionally to do a fast or whatever but it's different when you're forced into one. Psychologically, it's much worse. The paper trick helps but only for so long and it's probably not good for you lol, like I bet there are chemicals in the paper that are bad for you.

Ah okay. So if you have guests, when are you allowed to eat? Sorry if I'm bugging you, I've just never heard of this. And yea, paper, at the least, has dyes in it

 

[777cave]

Yeah, they probably never considered how it might affect you. Being a decent person can definitely suck sometimes. I hope they leave soon!