I just want to be able to cry

[trying ungracefully]

My boyfriend gets upset with me crying if it involves him. He wants me to stop crying always and says things like "stop crying" "you've been crying the past few minutes, just stop".

I cried today and he told me he needed space because he needs to work. He door dashes and can go at any time and actually has to wait until later today because there is a big storm. He just doesn't want to be around me when I cry because he hates hearing it. It's building resentment on my side.

I'm angry with him that he wants me to stop crying. I'm not going to ruin years of therapy work for any person I am with. I'm not going to hold back emotion because I know it just leads to bigger break downs with me. I am literally having less break downs over shit he does because I am crying more in the moment.

I think it's pathetic when someone wants someone else to stop crying. I don't care if it's about an ant getting stepped on, it is effecting them so much to the point they are crying which shows their nervous system changed in a negative way with that what happened. I am not going to shame anyone for that because it is sometimes something that can not be controlled even if you have years of therapy to be fine with stepping on an ant.

I don't think it is my fault that the resentment is building. I think he is just too in his own world to care about anyone else unless he feels like it. If he wants to work so badly that he can't handle me crying I am setting up a payment plan with him so he can pay me back my $400.

 

[fadedghost]

My boyfriend gets upset with me crying if it involves him. He wants me to stop crying always and says things like "stop crying" "you've been crying the past few minutes, just stop".

I cried today and he told me he needed space because he needs to work. He door dashes and can go at any time and actually has to wait until later today because there is a big storm. He just doesn't want to be around me when I cry because he hates hearing it. It's building resentment on my side.

I'm angry with him that he wants me to stop crying. I'm not going to ruin years of therapy work for any person I am with. I'm not going to hold back emotion because I know it just leads to bigger break downs with me. I am literally having less break downs over shit he does because I am crying more in the moment.

I think it's pathetic when someone wants someone else to stop crying. I don't care if it's about an ant getting stepped on, it is effecting them so much to the point they are crying which shows their nervous system changed in a negative way with that what happened. I am not going to shame anyone for that because it is sometimes something that can not be controlled even if you have years of therapy to be fine with stepping on an ant.

I don't think it is my fault that the resentment is building. I think he is just too in his own world to care about anyone else unless he feels like it. If he wants to work so badly that he can't handle me crying I am setting up a payment plan with him so he can pay me back my $400.

female tears actually release oxytocin and changes males hormonally (lowers male aggression). so it's not like it isn't impacting him: it's impacting him hormonally and impacting his mood.

i'm male won't be around people crying, it makes me feel worse, and sometimes i even feel like it's emotionally manipulative in some ways (because instead of talking with me, it's actually trying to change my endocrine state). i feel bad enough already.

is there some compromise where you can cry in the bathroom or go on a walk and cry somewhere?

also, if he is ripping you off, just don't lend him anything anymore. make sure to take care of your money and yourself. do you love him or is it just something you're enduring?

A chemical signal in human female tears lowers aggression in males - PubMed

Rodent tears contain social chemosignals with diverse effects, including blocking male aggression. Human tears also contain a chemosignal that lowers male testosterone, but its behavioral significance was unclear. Because reduced testosterone is associated with reduced aggression, we tested the...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov