So glad to be back on this site.

[Guy0117]

This place means something special to me. I lost my old "Guy[numbers]" account and had a huge thing. Thank you all, I nearly died here last year. It's the only place I can really just be real.

I noticed my fent. patches I've been saving up for another attempt, if I need to ASAP or something [some point will], and just found it really difficult not to on the spot. So just wanted to get on here. It doesn't change I want to die but gives me a space where seriously wanting to die is how it is. Was praying I could get back on here.



Edit: found my old account: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...nd-this-and-how-it-works.161978/#post-2483490

Thank fuck. See if I can remember the PW
Would anyone like to talk? nobody ever wants to talk to me

I talked to someone here last year in DMs, about people who abused us both in relationships but I don't remember their name

 

[Guy0117]

Is the site way more antisocial these days?? it seems so different

 

[LastNite]

Is the site way more antisocial these days?? it seems so different

eh it's been like that idk

 

[Xi-Xi]

I can talk. If it's okay with you I suppose.

 

[Guy0117]

I can talk. If it's okay with you I suppose.

This place is the only place I've been to in years where I've opened up about myself honestly and have been met positively. Like everyone absolutely everyone everywhere is so toxic and selfish and doesn't give a single fuck about you. But here you can really bond with people who have been there, whenever someone reacts to my post it's meaningful to me, I don't really have friends

Last year [2023- I met this girl through a spiritual experience i thought was the love of my life, opened up to her and everything after a decade of swearing to never try again, and it was insanely brutal. Manipulation, gaslighting, cheating w multiple men, literally becoming an escort, everything you can imagine, keeping me strung along, I was in a hospital for a surgery over her, dissociated, saw someone die while in hosp. pretty sure, came out to no one because I have no one and entire time was in there trying to text her while she ignored me triangulating w someone else I was trying to contact her through, then tried to kill myself after getting back from a doctor's apt. packing a wound, I was sending her thousands of messages, madly in love and she was just off having sex with other men meanwhile etc. Ignored didn't read any of them, she was some kind of narcissist in the end

When I got back I just broke down and said fuck it and tried then and there, I was dying while typing on here, and yet again literally no one knows anything about it because, I don't have any friends or anyone who cares about me, nobody except you guys who react to my posts

Just got up the next day saying fuck it ready to try again. Have been the same since, strung along mostly by a state of anxiety and unsurity regarding what's even going on anymore

I reached out to a "spiritual community" who I've relied on since being a kid to be the one source of reality and purpose in my life and was accused of trying for sympathy and crying wolf and seeking attention by the only guy there I thought was my friend, then the entire community turned on me, outcasted me and literally called me the embodiment of scum, made lies up about me and banned me, etc.

Countless has happened since then and I think that woman is dead now. Not sure.

Crazy couple of years. Very short summary. Just can't wait for this to be over. /vent

 

[Xi-Xi]

I shot you a DM in case you want to talk more, since I'm not comfortable telling my grievances in public.

 

[LeGuitarist]

This place means something special to me. I lost my old "Guy[numbers]" account and had a huge thing. Thank you all, I nearly died here last year. It's the only place I can really just be real.

I noticed my fent. patches I've been saving up for another attempt, if I need to ASAP or something [some point will], and just found it really difficult not to on the spot. So just wanted to get on here. It doesn't change I want to die but gives me a space where seriously wanting to die is how it is. Was praying I could get back on here.



Edit: found my old account: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...nd-this-and-how-it-works.161978/#post-2483490

Thank fuck. See if I can remember the PW
Would anyone like to talk? nobody ever wants to talk to me

I talked to someone here last year in DMs, about people who abused us both in relationships but I don't remember their name

I agree. This site is the only place I can be uncensored about suicide and depression

 

[Guy0117]

I agree. This site is the only place I can be uncensored about suicide and depression

It's fucking crazy dystopian how censored everything has become.

 

[Terrible_Life]

Is the site way more antisocial these days?? it seems so different

Was sasu much more social years ago? I really wonder because sometimes when I read posts which are few years old I see that the interaction was much more alive than now. I found sasu this year. It helped me in one very important thing before sasu i thought i should place the noose below my adamsapple and i am so glad I learned here to place it near the chin gosh that pain would have been horrible until the noose would go up to my chin…

 

[Guy0117]

Well, I was here on another account, too, called There, Look ! Nothing, years ago, and generally I would say yes. I remember you could make a post and many people would reply with how they felt in their own, and relate to you, and you'd be often in the same kind of place. But to be honest, maybe I just need to be on here more again. I didn't often respond in text, but would in reactions, and it just felt nice. Like we're equals. I'm very grateful for everyone's replies here and sharing their own pain

Was sasu much more social years ago? I really wonder because sometimes when I read posts which are few years old I see that the interaction was much more alive than now. I found sasu this year. It helped me in one very important thing before sasu i thought i should place the noose below my adamsapple and i am so glad I learned here to place it near the chin gosh that pain would have been horrible until the noose would go up to my chin…

My last post was meant as a reply to you. Just to make sure you get the notification

 

[m3nhera]

Is the site way more antisocial these days?? it seems so different

There's an entire thread about this that I was just looking at, the general consensus is yeah.

 

[InevitableDeath]

Is the site way more antisocial these days?? it seems so different

It really is - i used to lurk a lot and there was good advice, decent posts, interesting conversations. Now its all really low quality bollocks and a lot of pretenders who are using it like crappy social media. I don't want to neg it too much as am half way to a ban already, despite having been here for a week.

I've been piled on, warned for rubbish where I'm upholding the ethics of the site and the mods are going at me for doing so (calling out fakers, calling out stalkers, calling out pro-lifers, calling out BDSM people in a fucking suicide forum getting rope advice ffs!)

I try to do decent quality posts, with some info and humour or whatever, and am just met by all this utter entitlement, snide comments, stalky bullshit. Its simply bullying by obnoxious twats.

Its pretty depressing tbh, the only place online where you think you'd be protected from cyberstalkers and people trying to incite suicide and its the bloody opposite.

ANyway, rant over. But am just really pissed off by it all.