I think you may have a pretty high tolerance right now that is impeding your efforts. It will suck ass but I think opioid tolerance goes down pretty quickly like matter of days, but that may increase the effectiveness.
I'm also hoping to use fent but will be relatively opioid naĆÆve. From what I hear combining with benzos + alcohol + antiemetic will dramatically help for success.
I'm thinking of combining methods like using the fent to take away fear and pain of jumping, taking just a bit extra right before the jump in case I survive the fall etc. Or fent+drowning, fent+asphyx/inert gas maybe buying a big deep freezer and passing out inside or some other hermetically sealed area that would otherwise be intolerable.
These are just thoughts though so may I ask your help?
Because you now have a lot of experience with 'what it is like' to be on fent. Do you think it is powerful enough to mask the pain of say smashed legs and guts while slowing bleeding out if I botched a jump attempt? Or enough to slip into the unknown and not even be aware I am drowning etc?
And based on your experience, would it take a high dose (relative to tolerance only, not specific dose which will vary by person) to mask such dramatic physical and emotional pain?
What I can tell you is that taking the stuff was a during a very emotional turbulent process of:
A. Okay, I've taken it, and I'm in a state. Then a kind of revelation I guess they talk about right after "the jump" -- about certain people in my life and what's going on with them, sudden clarity. That happens.
B. Sudden removal of emotional pain and psychological shift to acceptance of death. There's an ease and mindset shift.
C. Waiting. From there it was a choice -- accept the bliss of acceptance, or fight against what's happening to you.
So the fentanyl can and will take you from A to B most probably. You'll be aware of your smashed legs, you'll be aware of your guts, you're not going to be oblivious all of a sudden -- but you're not *primarily* aware of those things, because you're too preoccupied with OD'ing. How much depends on how much you'll take I'd guess, take enough you'll just black out and at that point it doesn't matter. You could absolutely get high enough to where you're not even noticing or just, frankly, don't care.
Yes it would take a high dose to mask those forms of pain, I sat through every second staring it right in the eye, waiting -- you'd theoretically need a lot. The bliss people talk about? I didn't really get any of that, it really depends on your focus. If you give into it totally? sure probably, but the way I did it just left me feeling pretty awful. My advice would be follow protocols described and actually "get high" -- do what people who take the stuff do, properly, or you're just going to feel like you're drinking battery acid mostly. They know what they're talking about.
