Venting I’m back again

[s0ft.bldd]

I genuinely thought I wasn't going to come back here but it seems I was wrong.

I feel like a total failure. My friends hate me, my best friend now hates me, my sister despises me and all I have left is my boyfriend (which I'm truly happy to say he is my biggest support rn). I cannot do anything right, depression always ends up destroying what it took me years to become.

I hate myself so bad I want to die. I want to escape this agony I've been living my whole life. I'm currently taking medications and yet still struggling to live another day.

I keep having these nightmares where everything I adore just…disappears. And I can't help but think that it's a warning. A warning that, at the end of the day, I'm just alone.

I hate myself. I genuinely just hate myself.

Thank you.

 

[Cocomellon]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I wouldn't read anything into dreams they're just wires in your brain firing at random. Try to give yourself some grace. The things that happened weren't your doing. You're sick. Hoping you can find some peace

 

[EternalShore]

I wish things had gone better for your recovery, s0ft.bldd~ :( I hope you are able to get back with those you've lost if possible or find new friends who are better able to support you~ >_< it is very gracious that you still have him, and I hope he lets you lean on him and that he supports you through these trying times~ :) Remember, that you can always vent your frustrations here and hopefully feel even just a bit better as a result of that~ :)