nembutal
everything will be okay in the end
- Jul 14, 2022
- 334
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I was just speaking about this with my partner earlier today, personally I believe everyone but children have a right to die. I feel like until your brain is developed properly youre not able to fully understand or comprehend what it really is you're attempting or its consequences. Which to me seems cruel and unusual to condone. I had my first attempt at 9 years old and another at 14. Then 17 and 18. (My mother had forced me to cycle anti depressants convinced they'd work but really made me worse and more suicidal.) but once I was 18 and she could no longer force me I was able to get off and though the depression never went away I hadn't tried again until last year. (Im 32 now with two children) As a child I really didn't know or understand and every time I woke up in a hospital I remember being more miserable than before but as much as I was told I was lucky to be alive it never resonated with me because I couldn't really understand what it meant to be dead. I just didn't want to be in pain anymore.
Once I got older I managed to live a fairly okay life with depression. I do my best to mask it from my children but my daughter is getting older she's 10 and she will ask me questions that clearly show that I am not masking it as well as I believe and It fills me with immense guilt which leads to further pain and suffering and ideas that they would truly be better off without me. But my nieces father ctb when she was only 6 and my cousin when she was 2 and honestly my cousin (34) is an amazing human with an amazing life she's very happy with while my niece struggles severely with behavioral problems and drugs (shes 16) so I have such torn feelings because the age of the children I feel like matters so much when making decisions like this.
This turned into such a rant and I'm sorry. I'm new here. Obviously.
I believe that parents shoudn't be allowed to ctb only in a world where abortion is legalized, safe and accepted. Some parents didn't choose to be parents.
