I haven't been on here in months. I've been suffering with severe brain damage for the last 5 years, the last two being the hell I didn't think could exist. My case history, over 1 year of daily oral doses of macrobid. Followed by doses of ciprofloxacin. The Cipro damage took me about 7 years to recover from. And then I made the fatal error of taking bactrim in 2020. I'll never be able to convey what it is that I have been through. Severe cognitive dysfunction. Complete loss of inner voice, complete loss of inner eye, complete loss of verbal capabilities most of the time. Severe electrical jolts, not brains zaps, but full on convulsion like electrical damage in the brain and body. Massive muscle degeneration, the list is catastrophically long. I wouldn't be able to put everything down if I had to. I was certain this time I wasn't going to recover. I at times honestly couldn't tell if I was alive or dead, and not metaphorically or figuratively speaking. But literally. Far beyond anxiety, far beyond depression, far beyond mental confusion, so-called brain fog, extreme tinnitus as well, like high pitch sounds or trains, chirping, loud explosions inside my head, things I can't describe and things no one would begin to understand. Destruction of brain so bad that I didn't even dream anymore, and if I did dream it was just in the shapes of the neurological damage that I endured endlessly. On top of that, severe cardiac dysfunction, severe cardiac conductivity damage stemming out of my brain stem and damage to the cardiac muscle and nerves itself. Loss of bladder control, loss of bowel control. I was sure I was dead and I was sure I couldn't take one more second of it, I don't know how I've lasted especially these last two years but here I am.
I never met anyone as bad as I have been, and I'm not saying that like it's a contest, I'm just saying that I had no one to talk to that could say I have that too, everyone I tried to speak to about it was like I have no idea what the f*** you're talking about.
Anyway, lately, almost hitting the 5-year mark, I'm starting to see my brain recover. I didn't take any drugs at all, no pharmaceuticals of any kind, but I drank alcohol pretty heavily for the better part of a year or more. Because it was that, or I was going to kill myself. I bought the SN from dmc, I bought SN from SD. And I still have both. All did all the things, firearms, tried to find a partner, and now, I'm finally starting to see that there might be a life for me outside of this. I know there are many people on here suffering from pharmaceutical injuries or other allopathic harm, and I swear to god, those are the majority of people that take their lives that I have ever known, and I have known a lot, because no amount of suffering can compare. I'm not saying that to minimize what anyone else is going through, I'm just saying it's a whole other thing when your very consciousness is destroyed chemically from the inside out by pharmaceutical poison. I had severe neurological damage to my peripheral nervous system, that resulted in severe burning, I would say that that was far better than the damage to my consciousness. It was tolerable by Miles compared to the brain damage so it's not as if I don't understand physical pain too, including nerve spasms so bad that I almost blacked out when I even tried to go to the bathroom. Back pain so bad that I vomited and was crawling around on my elbows at times because I couldn't physically stand up anymore. pissing razor blades, teeth and jaw pain so severe that I seriously was considering ripping some of them out. I know all sorts of pain.
I'm here now because I posted here many times in the past, I try to read through things I posted in the last year, and I just shake my head because I see how completely gone I was, and how unbelievable it is that I've gotten to this point today.
I want to say to anyone suffering from benzodiazepine injuries, antipsychotic drug injuries, antidepressant injuries, antibiotic injuries, especially classes like fluoroquinolones or bactrim or macrobid. Keep fighting if you don't want to die, keep fighting. My toxicity history is unlike anyone's I've ever seen, I don't know anyone that took over a year of high dose macrobid, followed by compounding neurological injuries from cipro, including IV, and then was crippled for 7 years got better for two more, and then essentially killed themselves with bactrim. But that is my story. And I'm finally starting to see cracks, a little light shining through, moments that are starting to string together where my thoughts are, more existent number one, and coherent. It may be that the cardiac disregulation is something that I can't fully overcome, and that may kill me regardless, but I no longer feel I have to kill myself in this moment and that's a huge win.
I'm not a pro-life person I'm not suggesting anyone who wants to take their life shouldn't, that's no one's choice but the individual. I'm trying to speak to those who don't want to kill themselves, and who are injured the way that I was, and the way that I am. It may take years, but if any part of you can believe, that at the end of five, seven, 10 years, that you would be better, would it be worth it? There's only one way to find out. You aren't alone.
Peace be with you all.
I never met anyone as bad as I have been, and I'm not saying that like it's a contest, I'm just saying that I had no one to talk to that could say I have that too, everyone I tried to speak to about it was like I have no idea what the f*** you're talking about.
Anyway, lately, almost hitting the 5-year mark, I'm starting to see my brain recover. I didn't take any drugs at all, no pharmaceuticals of any kind, but I drank alcohol pretty heavily for the better part of a year or more. Because it was that, or I was going to kill myself. I bought the SN from dmc, I bought SN from SD. And I still have both. All did all the things, firearms, tried to find a partner, and now, I'm finally starting to see that there might be a life for me outside of this. I know there are many people on here suffering from pharmaceutical injuries or other allopathic harm, and I swear to god, those are the majority of people that take their lives that I have ever known, and I have known a lot, because no amount of suffering can compare. I'm not saying that to minimize what anyone else is going through, I'm just saying it's a whole other thing when your very consciousness is destroyed chemically from the inside out by pharmaceutical poison. I had severe neurological damage to my peripheral nervous system, that resulted in severe burning, I would say that that was far better than the damage to my consciousness. It was tolerable by Miles compared to the brain damage so it's not as if I don't understand physical pain too, including nerve spasms so bad that I almost blacked out when I even tried to go to the bathroom. Back pain so bad that I vomited and was crawling around on my elbows at times because I couldn't physically stand up anymore. pissing razor blades, teeth and jaw pain so severe that I seriously was considering ripping some of them out. I know all sorts of pain.
I'm here now because I posted here many times in the past, I try to read through things I posted in the last year, and I just shake my head because I see how completely gone I was, and how unbelievable it is that I've gotten to this point today.
I want to say to anyone suffering from benzodiazepine injuries, antipsychotic drug injuries, antidepressant injuries, antibiotic injuries, especially classes like fluoroquinolones or bactrim or macrobid. Keep fighting if you don't want to die, keep fighting. My toxicity history is unlike anyone's I've ever seen, I don't know anyone that took over a year of high dose macrobid, followed by compounding neurological injuries from cipro, including IV, and then was crippled for 7 years got better for two more, and then essentially killed themselves with bactrim. But that is my story. And I'm finally starting to see cracks, a little light shining through, moments that are starting to string together where my thoughts are, more existent number one, and coherent. It may be that the cardiac disregulation is something that I can't fully overcome, and that may kill me regardless, but I no longer feel I have to kill myself in this moment and that's a huge win.
I'm not a pro-life person I'm not suggesting anyone who wants to take their life shouldn't, that's no one's choice but the individual. I'm trying to speak to those who don't want to kill themselves, and who are injured the way that I was, and the way that I am. It may take years, but if any part of you can believe, that at the end of five, seven, 10 years, that you would be better, would it be worth it? There's only one way to find out. You aren't alone.
Peace be with you all.
