All super relatable.
I mostly cry throughout the day. Even when I try to occupy my head with other stuff and get busy, it doesn't last long and I'm right back to ruminating. I go outside and have to fight the urge not to completely break down. At night, I find myself crying again, but now I'm just unable to sleep. So I'm up all night; completely mentally, physically and emotionally drained. I fall asleep at 5am and wake up at 9, then everything just repeats itself.
It's a special kind of nightmare, sometimes this doesn't feel real. There's been plenty of times I've woken up crying because I know what my day and thoughts are going to be like, and I just don't want to deal with it.
