Seriously. How do you get through the day?

[Fadeawaaaay]

I play chess online all day

 

[hopelessdreams]

All super relatable.

I mostly cry throughout the day. Even when I try to occupy my head with other stuff and get busy, it doesn't last long and I'm right back to ruminating. I go outside and have to fight the urge not to completely break down. At night, I find myself crying again, but now I'm just unable to sleep. So I'm up all night; completely mentally, physically and emotionally drained. I fall asleep at 5am and wake up at 9, then everything just repeats itself.

It's a special kind of nightmare, sometimes this doesn't feel real. There's been plenty of times I've woken up crying because I know what my day and thoughts are going to be like, and I just don't want to deal with it.

my heart is aching for you. i've never seen something written so real and raw, you crying because you know what the dat holds for you… i'm so sorry you're going through this