How do I get over my fear of people so I can CTB at a hotel?

[Tyra]

I've decided that I'm going to be slightly less selfish and do the harder thing and CTB at a hotel instead of at home where my family is.

I have bad social anxiety and mild autism, it is very hard for me to leave the house and interact with people.

But I feel like I need to do this because it could make things easier on my family.
If anyone could give me pointers, advice, and/or information on how hotels would work, I would appreciate it.

 

[ketaminelover]

I've decided that I'm going to be slightly less selfish and do the harder thing and CTB at a hotel instead of at home where my family is.

I have bad social anxiety and mild autism, it is very hard for me to leave the house and interact with people.

But I feel like I need to do this because it could make things easier on my family.
If anyone could give me pointers, advice, and/or information on how hotels would work, I would appreciate it.

Go eat at a McDonalds by yourself. Then try a restaurant, try going to some store and asking for advice on something. Slowly build up confidence.

Hotels are simple. Book it (online possibly), then just come to the front desk, pay and be on your way. Easy.

Alcohol definitely helps with anxiety, just don't get too drunk.

 

[Tyra]

Go eat at a McDonalds by yourself. Then try a restaurant, try going to some store and asking for advice on something. Slowly build up confidence.

Hotels are simple. Book it (online possibly), then just come to the front desk, pay and be on your way. Easy.

Alcohol definitely helps with anxiety, just don't get too drunk.

Or benzos maybe?

I also have a really large problem I forgot to mention. I have really bad PTSD of hotels.

When I actually imagined walking through the hotel and imagining it… I just get such a bad feeling and flashbacks. It's painful for me.
When I think of hotels, I think of the worst thing ever. I actually don't think I can do it.

So unfortunately I don't think I can do it in a hotel. Because I don't want my last moments to be even more mentally torturous than it needs to be.

Maybe I'll be okay tho when I acquire benzos.

 

[ketaminelover]

Or benzos maybe?

I also have a really large problem I forgot to mention. I have really bad PTSD of hotels.

When I actually imagined walking through the hotel and imagining it… I just get such a bad feeling and flashbacks. It's painful for me.
When I think of hotels, I think of the worst thing ever. I actually don't think I can do it.

So unfortunately I don't think I can do it in a hotel. Because I don't want my last moments to be even more mentally torturous than it needs to be.

Benzos even better if you have em.

If not a hotel maybe AirBnb? They let you check in without meeting anyone.
You could find a well rated hotel and straight up tell them that you have some issues and anxiety, any good establishment will try their best to help out.

 

[Nolongerlive]

Maybe you can wear a sunglasses, those with darker color so that you dont see the people so much clearer.

 

[Estrella87]

Hotel seems a better idea than parents tub. But if you are "scared" of hotels and interact with people, which I can understand, why not book a house or appartement on booking, from private owners check one with "check in anytime" and usually you have a box there with a code for get the keys by yourself.

Book for 2 nights at least, anyway you won't need your money where you go, and then you have all the time and tranquility to do your stuff. Also the advantage of such accommodations compared to hotels is there isn't room cleaning, they usually only clean when you leave, which will let you plenty of time.

 

[Tyra]

Hotel seems a better idea than parents tub. But if you are "scared" of hotels and interact with people, which I can understand, why not book a house or appartement on booking, from private owners check one with "check in anytime" and usually you have a box there with a code for get the keys by yourself.

Book for 2 nights at least, anyway you won't need your money where you go, and then you have all the time and tranquility to do your stuff. Also the advantage of such accommodations compared to hotels is there isn't room cleaning, they usually only clean when you leave, which will let you plenty of time.

I don't really care that much how it will effect my parents.

Finding me dead is the least of their worries.

They be way more stressed/upset by having to tell people I died. Because they care much more about what people think than me.

 

[Estrella87]

That's extremely sad

 

[Tyra]

That's extremely sad

What's sad?

I'm picking a method that does not look brutal at all. My body will just be blue. They'll know I went by peacefully.

Does it really make that big of a difference if they find me dead versus getting told by a police?

In my opinion, them seeing me dead will make it feel more real to them. I don't think they would want me to be found by strangers anyways, they would want me to be safe and at home.

 

[Estrella87]

I don't know your situation and I can't judge, you know your parents, not me, but if as you said "finding me dead is the least of their worries" that's the sad stuff I was referring to.

You are free it's your life, I just saw in your precedent posts that you seem to not care about your dignity or suffering, you just want to be out, and that's very sad too.

I wish you the best

 

[Tyra]

I don't know your situation and I can't judge, you know your parents, not me, but if as you said "finding me dead is the least of their worries" that's the sad stuff I was referring to.

You are free it's your life, I just saw in your precedent posts that you seem to not care about your dignity or suffering, you just want to be out, and that's very sad too.

I wish you the best

Yes I care about my dignity and suffering.

I just don't see how CTB in parents tub is undignified because I literally don't see a difference between doing it in my bed downstairs versus in their tub upstairs.

I see it as just more practical. Easier clean up, and it's easier for first responders to get my body (their tub is on the main flour).

SN is fairly peaceful death too.

 

[Estrella87]

No worries. As you wish. Whatever you do I wish you the best and to not suffer in your life as in your ctb.

My messages were only empathy toward you

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I have mild social anxiety too and I'm very dumb about the world so I get that. I just hope when they will leave for shopping one day mostly they spends hours and I can do my ctb but still unsure.