Discussion How often do you cry? Are you be able of crying at all?

[valar_morghulis21]

It's 4 in the morning where I am now. Just make myself a bowl of yogurt in the kitchen and thinking about my parents. My dad just successfully went through a surgery to remove his pre-cancerous tissues. But it was his third time so the doctors said we must await further examination.

I don't really cry anymore, cause what's the point? Crying doesn't gonna change anything. But goddamn, it just hits me how completely alone in this world I am. Once my parents pass away, especially my mom, it's just gonna me versus the world. I wish I could call her up but we are in different countries and she's at work right now.

I've been playing Dave the Diver and watching "Don't trust the B in apartment 23" to numb whatever feelings I have, which is not alot in the first place. But yeah, staring down the yogurt bowl, thinking about my mom getting older, and what I am even doing with my life living in a foreign city that doesn't even want me here. My depression doesn't get better when I back at home, but at least I know I have my mom beside me. She's all I have, no matter how complicated our relationship are. Nature is fucking cruel man, for making moms mortal just like the rest of us. I never hug her, nor tell her I love her in my whole life, but I would give up my existence so she could turn back time and end up with a life happier than this.

Wonder how often do you folks cry? Does it come sudden like me?

 

[StupidGirl001]

I never cry. I may be 2 seconds from cbt and and only feel numb (it may not help.that I've been imagining my death from a very long time).

Sometimes, tho, I explode for the most random shits, usually a bad grade (studying is what I use to distract myself) and in front of people! It's so stupid. I'm stupid. But hey it's not like I'll live long enough to care about any of that.

 

[Secro]

I only cry when I watch an anime, for example Charlotte and Angel Beats, but otherwise I'm emotionally numb.

 

[smirks00ts]

I barely cry nowadays. used to cry more when I was younger and mainly to force myself to sleep now I barely feel anything. I kinda hate it.

 

[kivacs-rei]

I tend to not cry for months, or even a year/s, and then it all kind of comes like a (brief) flood.

But usually when I cry it's somewhere that is "safe", like home alone without pets or people, or in the car by myself, a few times in therapy. It lasts from 1-10 minutes and then i just sort of sit up and am back to... whatever my normal is. It's a switch I guess

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I cry often, I cry for things that dont have life and I cry for people that suffer and I cry at mild inconveniences and I cry at big inconveniences, and I cry when I'm happy and I cry when I'm mad.. Recently I cry a bit less I think mostly because I got used to it and have given up a bit, I live in a place w 0 privacy where you're expected to hold all emotions in 24/7 so yeah

 

[DriftingToOblivion]

I think I cried twice in ten years. It's funny, most days I am not capable of crying if I wanted to, but when it comes I cannot stop it.

The first time I unexpectedly fell in love. I grew close with a friend, we would have coffee together at work, we reached the point we could tell each other anything. This developed over years.

We just couldn't tell our spouses. I didn't think this could happen while married. It did.

It all came crashing down eventually and I fell on the floor uncontrollably sobbing.

The second time my daughter came home to visit. I love my daughter even though she is a deeply flawed person. But she is a feeling person and I think that is what I love and admire about her. Well she doesn't get along with her mom. They had a huge fight, lots of screaming which ended with my daughter grabbing her bags and running out the door. More uncontrollable sobbing.

I live most days just numb. Alcohol helps the numbing somewhat.

I wish I could cry more.

 

[awarmnonexistence]

I only cry when I watch an anime, for example Charlotte and Angel Beats, but otherwise I'm emotionally numb

Yeah wow same for me, when I think about my own life and existence, I don't get any real emotions apart a sense of disappointment, a slight headache, and the feeling of "I should get out of here cause it only gets worse from here".

I'm really apathetic towards my personal situation and even the people around me, as shitty as that sounds. How could I cry for a life that is more of a huge boring pain-in-the-ass that I never asked for, than it is some emotionally captivating tragic storyline?

I watched cyberpunk edgerunners last week and I think I cried more tears over that series than I have over my own life in a whole decade lol
Similarly I listen to music and the only reason I would get really emotional during a song is if it's taking me somewhere else, to a world far away from this one, not if it relates to my own life.

I guess the tears can only start flowing for some of us when the weight of being in our own lives is lifted?

 

[telekon]

the only time I cry is when I get seriously close to pulling the trigger which is how I know im probably not ready to end it

 

[Dandelion's]

I cry everytime i remember how pathetic I truly am

 

[vanillacakeyyy]

i don't think i can even go a full week or month without crying at this point idk the thoughts just get too unbearable

 

[lastappleonearth]

It's 4 in the morning where I am now. Just make myself a bowl of yogurt in the kitchen and thinking about my parents. My dad just successfully went through a surgery to remove his pre-cancerous tissues. But it was his third time so the doctors said we must await further examination.

I don't really cry anymore, cause what's the point? Crying doesn't gonna change anything. But goddamn, it just hits me how completely alone in this world I am. Once my parents pass away, especially my mom, it's just gonna me versus the world. I wish I could call her up but we are in different countries and she's at work right now.

I've been playing Dave the Diver and watching "Don't trust the B in apartment 23" to numb whatever feelings I have, which is not alot in the first place. But yeah, staring down the yogurt bowl, thinking about my mom getting older, and what I am even doing with my life living in a foreign city that doesn't even want me here. My depression doesn't get better when I back at home, but at least I know I have my mom beside me. She's all I have, no matter how complicated our relationship are. Nature is fucking cruel man, for making moms mortal just like the rest of us. I never hug her, nor tell her I love her in my whole life, but I would give up my existence so she could turn back time and end up with a life happier than this.

Wonder how often do you folks cry? Does it come sudden like me?

Too often, though for around a week now I haven't cried, I don't really know why, mby I'm feeling more numb rn. But before then I cried literally every day for months probably, usually once or twice a day, sometimes longer, sometimes only a few tears. It really surprised me that I could cry that much, bcs a couple of years ago I barely ever cried. Now, almost always when I cry, I do so in moments of realisation that I don't really have anyone anymore or when I miss a specific person and look at old chats etc (I know I shouldn't do that)

 

[Pluto]

 

[lastappleonearth]

Your memes are always cute

 

[trxll]

sometimes I cry, usually every 2-3 months. It's a numb cry though, like staring at the floor hopelessly and then tears just start running. The best way I can describe it is like static, doesn't feel like anything.

I cry when I remember my parent's age. They're quite old, and experiencing memory issues. I mourn for the grandparents i never got to have, due to everyone in my family having children in their 40s.

 

[suncide10]

I want to cry but I can't. Mainly because I've been bottling up my emotions for years.

 

[angel164]

It's 4 in the morning where I am now. Just make myself a bowl of yogurt in the kitchen and thinking about my parents. My dad just successfully went through a surgery to remove his pre-cancerous tissues. But it was his third time so the doctors said we must await further examination.

I don't really cry anymore, cause what's the point? Crying doesn't gonna change anything. But goddamn, it just hits me how completely alone in this world I am. Once my parents pass away, especially my mom, it's just gonna me versus the world. I wish I could call her up but we are in different countries and she's at work right now.

I've been playing Dave the Diver and watching "Don't trust the B in apartment 23" to numb whatever feelings I have, which is not alot in the first place. But yeah, staring down the yogurt bowl, thinking about my mom getting older, and what I am even doing with my life living in a foreign city that doesn't even want me here. My depression doesn't get better when I back at home, but at least I know I have my mom beside me. She's all I have, no matter how complicated our relationship are. Nature is fucking cruel man, for making moms mortal just like the rest of us. I never hug her, nor tell her I love her in my whole life, but I would give up my existence so she could turn back time and end up with a life happier than this.

Wonder how often do you folks cry? Does it come sudden like me?

well I did tear up reading your post so.....
I hope your dad recovers well and gets better. I wish him and your mother the best. and I wish the best for you too

but yes it depends on what mental state I am in, sometimes I go on months without crying and sometimes I Cry everyday. I couldn't cry when I was in active psychosis.
I am now in one of those mental states where I cry everyday, everything makes me emotional, its been since June i think.
I also cried today thinking about what my cat will feel looking for me after I CTB.....

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

I haven't cried in years because living in this evil and retarded realm has made me angry and able to laugh at a lot of things too. I'm beyond crying. Dead inside and used to the world now.

 

[Passenger4224]

I never cry anymore, I wish I could, I completely lost the ability to do so

 

[valar_morghulis21]

well I did tear up reading your post so.....
I hope your dad recovers well and gets better. I wish him and your mother the best. and I wish the best for you too

but yes it depends on what mental state I am in, sometimes I go on months without crying and sometimes I Cry everyday. I couldn't cry when I was in active psychosis.
I am now in one of those mental states where I cry everyday, everything makes me emotional, its been since June i think.
I also cried today thinking about what my cat will feel looking for me after I CTB.....

This response means so much to me Your cat is lucky to have been with you in the first place, the ride is more important than the destination always.

 

[2Sensible]

I cry all the time. maybe 3 times a week. I even want to cry when i'm at school (college) or with people at the slightest inconvenience, but i try to hold it. And it makes me tired. i wish i could cry in front of people without any shame thought.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

Very frequently. I hate this grusome existence. It's so so vile I hate crying too.

 

[tomame]

i cried for a year straight after losing my partner. i haven't been able to cry much sense .. though i'm highly aware it can and probably will get worst and that could change

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I very rarely cry. I feel sadness and anger. Strangely, just minutes before reading this, my eyes were welling up with tears. Once again, a mix of sadness and anger after another day of work. I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have to work, but I'm certain I wouldn't feel this bad. I'm still working at over 60, and that depresses me even more. That damned, instinctive fear that keeps me alive for no reason. How long can I keep this up? Tomorrow, it all starts over. I feel like a failure for not being able to end it, even though I know what drives me is merely instinct.

 

[crabclaw]

sometimes I find it really hard to cry, and I'll purposely watch sad videos or listen to sad music because it feels like I really just want to feel that sadness. Other times, like right now, it doesn't feel that difficult to cry, and I just sob and sob and sob.

 

[Spite]

I usually cry a few times a week.

 

[Soloh]

I'm crying right now. Multiple times a week. I'm so fucking stressed all the time. I'm always grieving for my grandma. I'm wishing I weren't so pathetic and embarrassingly stupid. I'm praying I could find the ultimate peace.

 

[hevnsfall]

It's 4 in the morning where I am now. Just make myself a bowl of yogurt in the kitchen and thinking about my parents. My dad just successfully went through a surgery to remove his pre-cancerous tissues. But it was his third time so the doctors said we must await further examination.

I don't really cry anymore, cause what's the point? Crying doesn't gonna change anything. But goddamn, it just hits me how completely alone in this world I am. Once my parents pass away, especially my mom, it's just gonna me versus the world. I wish I could call her up but we are in different countries and she's at work right now.

I've been playing Dave the Diver and watching "Don't trust the B in apartment 23" to numb whatever feelings I have, which is not alot in the first place. But yeah, staring down the yogurt bowl, thinking about my mom getting older, and what I am even doing with my life living in a foreign city that doesn't even want me here. My depression doesn't get better when I back at home, but at least I know I have my mom beside me. She's all I have, no matter how complicated our relationship are. Nature is fucking cruel man, for making moms mortal just like the rest of us. I never hug her, nor tell her I love her in my whole life, but I would give up my existence so she could turn back time and end up with a life happier than this.

Wonder how often do you folks cry? Does it come sudden like me?

I am in the same boat as you..

I am 34 and my mom is 61 and getting old. My parents just bought their grave just in case and it triggered my anxiety and i wake up in dread every morning for the past 2 months. The thought of losing her and not being able to call her and hear her voice feels like pouring gasoline and setting fire on me.

I am now struggling to accept the fact that we all owe a death and she is the only reason i am not going to ctb soon because i know what amount of suffering i might bring her.

I cannot cry. The maximum dose of antidepressants i am on makes me emotionless on the outside, but my heart is broken in a million pieces.

 

[ijustdontcare]

I cry all the time, which makes everyone in my family annoyed at me. My mom always said I was "too sensitive", My partner now yells at me so I need to hide when I do. He's called me a nutjob when I asked if I wasn't allowed feelings. We were going for bday dinner for "his dad" and "his son". We've been together almost 13 years, but I guess I'm not allowed to expect them to be part of my family still (although his whole family will say differently). I'm no contact with either of my parents.

We're in the same waiting boat as you. My partner has kidney and bladder cancer. Invasive but non muscle for his bladder. We meet with a specialist on the 19 about his kidney. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your mom and dad, I don't pray but I'm sending positive vibes.

 

[violetforever]

crying as i type this