Discussion sensitive topic: do you think it’s fair to bring life into the world when you have suicidal ideation?

[RM5998]

I don't see any issues here. My parents had me purely because they thought it would make their marriage happier (and to prove a point to a bunch of relatives), and I turned out fine. I only hate every aspect of myself. And the only other negative outcome was a set of severe financial setbacks that severely crippled my parents' financial health. Yes, all 3 of us feel like we are drowning, but that's not a problem, right? That's just a minor inconvenience. The big problem right now is that I'm not being the dutiful child that pleases their parents. Really, what a cunt I've ended up becoming, can't even be grateful and do what my parents want me to. If only my parents had put some effort into being more controlling, that way I would have given them everything they needed to prove that they are great parents - good academic results, an obedient personality and general success in life.

I don't really know how to process my thoughts about my parents. They gave everything they could to me. I don't feel justified in my resentment, considering what they have sacrificed. The point of my existence is to please them, so isn't my refusal to do that down to me being an ungrateful, useless little shit? It's so hard to process this rationally.

 

[Wayfaerer]

To be perfectly honest, I think anyone who has a severe mental illness like Bi-Polar Disorder or Schizophrenia should
not reproduce. Period. It's nothing personal but these disorders are definitely genetic and nothing good is ever going to result from it. People who say there are no "bad genes" are so full of crap.

 

[hunthunt]

Sound incredibility selfish and despicable.

Im sorry but thats horrible.

To be perfectly honest, I think anyone who has a severe mental illness like Bi-Polar Disorder or Schizophrenia should
not reproduce. Period. It's nothing personal but these disorders are definitely genetic and nothing good is ever going to result from it. People who say there are no "bad genes" are so full of crap.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Aleksandra]

You assume everyone you communicate with will never change their opinion after reading your reasons why you disagree?

no, you just come across as argumentative. agree to disagree usually is a phrase to say i don't want to continue the conversation. yet you carried on.

I think it's pretty much the definition of irresponsible. My ex fell pregnant after our first night together, and was adamant she was going to keep it. She was sure a baby would be the cure to her depression. I couldn't get my head around that thinking. We had initially bonded over a mutual desire for self induced death, and all she ever talked about was how she hated life and wanted a way out. The woman already has a teenage son who is clearly affected by his mother's depression, but she was willing to inflict that upon another life just to take the chance that she might feel better. I was pretty sure her plan was to have the baby and then fuck off back to Poland, where she had no job, and I obviously would have struggled due to a very limited grasp of the language. It was like all she was thinking was "cutelittlebabymakeseverythingbetter", and would go ape shit whenever I suggested that was maybe a bit selfish. I guess we all look at things differently.

knowing polish culture, it's somewhat very family oriented. people have this idea that kids make everything better, when sometimes they don't. they have this feeling that "if i have a family it'll make me happy". my ex had that, i told him i never wanted kids and he got upset because i didn't and said he would never be happy with me. we broke up not long ago and that was fine, but i think it's just a polish thing. wouldn't put it upon her as she seems to think she knows best.

 

[alizee]

no, you just come across as argumentative. agree to disagree usually is a phrase to say i don't want to continue the conversation. yet you carried on.

I'm curious to know how you think and so I can change my opinion if I'm wrong.

I just read my first post and nothing seems argumentative about it. My post after the first is asking for you to state why you disagree? Then last post is just asking why you assume I won't change my opinion.

I'm now even more curious lol.

 

[Ky204]

Definitely not. Don't bring an innocent child into a world that you yourself don't even want to live in.
The same thing that happened to your friend happened to me. It's not fair to the child who didn't even have a choice to begin with.

 

[bigj75]

yes. if you are that suicidal to a degree then you should not be allowed to have children. you risk their wellbeing.

 

[134340]

I think it's selfish, without a doubt. Believing that a child will make you less suicidal or otherwise heal you mentally is completely backwards (obviously this minset comes from a place of mental illness in the first place). Children don't ask to be born, so bringing them into a life of turmoil like that is so so selfish. I like the idea of being a mother, but realistically I know it isn't fair to put an innocent life through that. Even if I wasn't planning to ctb sooner or later, I wouldn't want to risk my child having the same problems as me or otherwise fucking it up somehow.

That being said, it is 100% possible for people with mental illnesses to be good parents, but that's after they've recovered, have a good support system, etc. Lots of external factors that many don't have.

 

[Thetimeisnow]

I'm pregnant now and even though I don't want a baby, I wouldn't have it even if I wanted to because of my mental state, and I am well aware that the child will not help me, so I would end up damaging them.