Seeing people navigate life so easily and naturally is making me jealous

[Parnate]

I had gone to my hometown and travelling back to my city of work . I am carpooling with this guy who is younger than me. It's his car. Even though is younger he is so much ahead in life , not just financially but otherwise. The way he talks, behaves etc. he seems so much in control of life and himself . I have been telling myself that he doesn't have the challenges I do etc to make myself feel better but deep down I am so insecure and sad. Hope this journey ends soon.

 

[unluckysadness]

i have exactly the same feeling. i struggled all my life with a lot of things and i don't understand "normal" people. i feel like an alien since i was a kid. i think i have autistic spectrum disorder but tests are too expensive

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The thing is, plenty of people are really good at giving off the impression that they have their shit together, but that doesn't make that the case. Unless you are him, you don't know how much control he truly feels he has over his life and himself. Most people struggle and have trouble navigating through life. It is just that some people are just better at hiding it than others.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I feel that way with everyone around me. Especially in the chat, it just seems like everyone has their life together and they know how to navigate it when ironically it's a suicide chat. I know what holds me back is my autistic troubles with socializing, I never have anything to say really, but it's still a struggle that makes me feel small and insecure. Everyday I wake up only to stay in bed all day again, soon this will be over.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes I've felt the same way but then, talking to those people, I've realised they had similar insecurities to me. Not to belittle what you feel. Maybe he has got his shit together. Some people are very good at coming across confident and accomplished though when truly, they're scared too.

 

[Galam]

I found out if you look very average or pretty, then life can be good, because many people want you in their life and feel the need to help you out. Maybe there are some struggles but not so deep that people all abandon you.

but if you are ugly (genetical defigured, disabled face, androgyn) you are also easly poor - because you look already like it - and nobody want's you around. It is mostly about apperance. Privileged people assume very negative things about me (drug addict, mental ill, predatory, stupid) and never wanted to help me. I write complains against them and tell how it really is, that I am a victim of Lookism (e.g ableism, classism, misogyny and they hate me for looking 'like a lesbian' or trans too so I add lesbophobia and transphobia to it). They never see me as a human, victim, never as a woman.

It is extreme sad, that such old and now dead feminists like Valeria Solanas are so right with everything, nothing truly got better around the world, not just in america. I was born in germany and the average people here are all mostly ignorant, conservative. In the small rural town I am in I could not make any friends. Here are too many people who are the opposite of me, sadly I can't just move to another place. I am also tired, I feel death is better than enduring this shit here or elsewhere.

 

[akiyama346]

You aren't wrong to say that he doesn't have the challenges you do, he probably doesn't. It's not just making you feel better, but it's likely true. I'm not trying to guilt you but also look at it from the other side, 4 billion people (half the world) live on under 8 dollars per day. That doesn't really make me feel better, but it makes me understand my position. We're kinda skewed to think these people with nice careers and families and middle class lifestyles are the norm when really the actual norm is being a literal sweatshop worker.

I'll be honest I don't like the comments on this thread implying "he might not have his shit together" or "he has problems too deep down". I find it difficult to sympathize with people that are rich and well off and have few problems

 

[Rust]

You aren't wrong to say that he doesn't have the challenges you do, he probably doesn't. It's not just making you feel better, but it's likely true.

I would like to re-iterate this point. Even if he faced some unexpected challenges, he may have had a strong support system in-place that helped him solve things. I'm not trying to take away from his accomplishments, as I'm sure he has worked hard towards them. But the world can be unfair, and I don't think it's right to deny your efforts to overcome that unfairness.

As for dealing with the insecurities, In my case, I just try to focus on my own goals and try not to think too much of others. You can't really guide your own path when you're chasing someone else's path. At least that's what helps me.