Story scoped out the gun im gonna buy

[ihateittoo]

Yesterday I drove to a gun store that I've been eyeballing that has the kind of shotgun I want to buy for CTB. I got to hold it and asked about buying, the guy said I could have all the paperwork done in "like 2 minutes, pretty much as fast as you can type and fill out the info". The American south sure is a unique place. It's cheaper than I thought it would be, about ~$283. Then of course I have to buy ammo, and I don't think they sell 12 gauge loosies so im sure my total will end up being a bit more, for sure a bit over $300. But what do I care? I'll be dead after I buy it. I plan to just shoot myself in my car, I'll probably go from the gun store to somewhere empty so I can take as much time as I need.

I don't know if I wanna decide on a specific date or just wait until I impulsively do it.

It sucks knowing things aren't gonna shape up in my life. I look at myself in the mirror and am always made so sad by the reality of how I look. It sucks this really is the only way out for me. But after ruminating on it for the majority of my life being suicidal feels integral to my charterer. There's only been one time in my life where I haven't been suicidal(not counting being a baby) and that was for a short period of time in 2025.

I have a good feeling about this month being my last, I won't say its certain, but I can say that things are close and I have done all the prep I want to do. I can do it any day now, the only thing holding me back is myself right now.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I wish you could use a method that is more peaceful and less messy. If you can get the angle right to your brain stem, the shotgun would do the trick, but definitely don't put it under your chin because you would blow your face off and survive which is horrible. It pisses me off so much that we can't just walk into a euthanasia clinic and say "I wanna die, gimme your Nembutal" and then you just get it regardless of your reasons. If we lived in a society that at least made some sense, that is how it would work, people who wanted to die could ALWAYS get the peaceful way out just because they asked for it.

This suicide prevention BS we get shoved down our throats everywhere just pisses me off so much. If you do get the gun and the ammo, I wish you the best of luck if it really is the best method you can get.

 

[ihateittoo]

I wish you could use a method that is more peaceful and less messy. If you can get the angle right to your brain stem, the shotgun would do the trick, but definitely don't put it under your chin because you would blow your face off and survive which is horrible. It pisses me off so much that we can't just walk into a euthanasia clinic and say "I wanna die, gimme your Nembutal" and then you just get it regardless of your reasons. If we lived in a society that at least made some sense, that is how it would work, people who wanted to die could ALWAYS get the peaceful way out just because they asked for it.

This suicide prevention BS we get shoved down our throats everywhere just pisses me off so much. If you do get the gun and the ammo, I wish you the best of luck if it really is the best method you can get.

its the easiest method for me and I personally dont mind any mess. I've read a lot of the guides here abt aiming and such and have practiced my position with a firearm I own already(.22 rifle not enough to kill me). Living in the south, and having a dad from rural America I was always adjacent to guns in some way so I am comfortable around them and have the knowledge of how to work one.

I would love a world where we had those suicide booths from futurama. But I feel like too many people would kill themselves which is why they don't do it. Can't lose workers that still have 40 years of labor left in them to be squeezed out.

Thank you for your kind words, I see you here often and always appreciate your perspective.