Sayonara Everyone~ <3

[LoiteringClouds]

I wish you the best luck

 

[SilentSadness]

Sayonara, I hope you find the peace you have been missing.

 

[calssilva]

still there ?

 

[EqualibriumWithin]

In 11 hours, i will decide for the final time if i will be on this earth or not. I made a lot of friends here- and i fell in love with someone from here as well. It was nice knowing this place, but i'm simply not strong enough to stay and try again and again. I'm sorry to those who are hurting because of this- But i thank you for not trying to stop me, those who know me personally. <3

Regimen:
x48h, 7.5mg Olanzapine
x24h, 7.5mg Olanzapine,
x6h, 10mg Olanzapine
x45m, diazepam 20-25mg orally
x6m, benzocanine for my tongue
x0m, SN drink, 40g. Have another 40g drink on the side incase, and another 20g on the side as well.

I'll probably be posting here more with my thoughts and feelings. It was really nice to get to know you all, but i know that my time has come. I really hope this site stays up. And i really hope that in the future, we can legalize euthanasia. I wouldn't be ending my own life this soon if i had access to it at all times, but sadly, i feel very stuck.

I will not beat myself up if, when the time comes, i can't drink it. however... yeah. It's time. I've tried getting help repeatedly, so so many times. I have too much trauma. Too much to deal with.

I'm aware this likely won't be enforced, but, please... don't try and stop me. Words of comfort are appreciated, however. ^^

 

[Touhou]

Farewell, I hope the bus ride's smooth & you're able to find what you've been searching for postmortem.

 

[Toji]

i wish you the best of luck and to have a safe journey to the afterlife <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom that you are searching for, best wishes.

 

[LocalAngel]

Hey guys. I'm sorry. I don't think i can go through with it today, SI is stupidly high, and my brain just.. refuses to let today be the day. I feel like garbage, but i hope you all understand.

 

[Ruma]

Goodbye and goodluck,wishing you a peaceful passing.

 

[Sparr0w]

it's okay, we understand

 

[LeapOfFaith]

Hey guys. I'm sorry. I don't think i can go through with it today, SI is stupidly high, and my brain just.. refuses to let today be the day. I feel like garbage, but i hope you all understand.

Do not feel sorry for not going through with it You are not obliged to go through with it just because you felt like it when you created this thread. It's hard. *Sending some virtual hugs!*

 

[Shadowlord900]

Don't beat yourself up about it. Even the best planned out CTBs can still be very difficult to initiate.

If you haven't tried (I can't remember if you've told me before or not), but if you have plenty of Olanzapine, Diazepam and Benzocanine to experiment with, you could always try practicing your regimen out, just without taking the SN part. Admittedly I dunno how long the combination of Olanzapine and Diazepam will knock you out for, so you still want to make sure you have at least 3-4 days to yourself, but I imagine it can't knock you out for any longer than 2 days. Also after experimentation I'd advise at least a couple of weeks break (or ideally 4) to let your tolerance to Olanzapine and Diazepam wind back down.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

It's really scary. Really really scary. I'm not sure how to describe it, but i'm just... afraid of the fact that i know i'm not going to be able to be around, to experience things, to be here. To just... be somewhere else, maybe even nowhere at all.

I know what you mean. I'm really scared too, but will have to do this in a few days anyway. If there is a somewhere else to go to, hopefully it's better than the hellhole we're in now. I'm sorry life pushed you into this.

Hey guys. I'm sorry. I don't think i can go through with it today, SI is stupidly high, and my brain just.. refuses to let today be the day. I feel like garbage, but i hope you all understand.

No need to be sorry. When you're not ready, you're not ready, so there's no harm in backing out and trying again later. Take care of yourself for now and I hope you feel better soon.

 

[LateForTheBus]

There's no shame in not CTB'ing. The time just isn't right. We're all here for you, and we support you - for however long you choose to stay. (Hugs)

 

[roadtogo]

All the best with your journey. I do envy you have your ae's...

 

[GrippySocks]

Hey guys. I'm sorry. I don't think i can go through with it today, SI is stupidly high, and my brain just.. refuses to let today be the day. I feel like garbage, but i hope you all understand.

There's no shame in backing out. I hope that whatever you decide to do can bring you peace and I hope you feel better soon

 

[LocalAngel]

Thank you all for being so understanding... i don't even know what to consider what i just went through, but i've never felt my mind regress, dissociate, andor otherwise push down the idea so hard. I want to, even now. I still want to go. But clearly, i need more processing to do before i can go through with it. I.. i really appreciate everyone being so understanding.
I said i wouldn't beat myself up, but.. here we are, i'm doing just that, aha.

 

[Amakishiyo]

You don't "owe" use your suicide, we're glad to still have you here, you do what's best for you, when it's best for you.

 

[Never Alive]

Per ardua ad astra

NeuroDegenerative Paralysis via Malpractice, what does that mean if I may ask?

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry hope peace any chis want

 

[bobblong]

Maybe it's fate that you lived....for another day.

 

[CellarBoy]

In 11 hours, i will decide for the final time if i will be on this earth or not. I made a lot of friends here- and i fell in love with someone from here as well. It was nice knowing this place, but i'm simply not strong enough to stay and try again and again. I'm sorry to those who are hurting because of this- But i thank you for not trying to stop me, those who know me personally. <3

Regimen:
x48h, 7.5mg Olanzapine
x24h, 7.5mg Olanzapine,
x6h, 10mg Olanzapine
x45m, diazepam 20-25mg orally
x6m, benzocanine for my tongue
x0m, SN drink, 40g. Have another 40g drink on the side incase, and another 20g on the side as well.

I'll probably be posting here more with my thoughts and feelings. It was really nice to get to know you all, but i know that my time has come. I really hope this site stays up. And i really hope that in the future, we can legalize euthanasia. I wouldn't be ending my own life this soon if i had access to it at all times, but sadly, i feel very stuck.

I will not beat myself up if, when the time comes, i can't drink it. however... yeah. It's time. I've tried getting help repeatedly, so so many times. I have too much trauma. Too much to deal with.

I'm aware this likely won't be enforced, but, please... don't try and stop me. Words of comfort are appreciated, however. ^^

Well, you're the one that decides when it's your time to go. I never knew you, but I consider all on this site to be a friend in emotions and feelings. Goodbye friend, it was good knowing you for the few minutes that I did.