how did u find this site?

[Dandelion's]

Personally I found it while googling about ctb. There is a poll about this I am pretty sure it saidAlot of people found it from a YouTuber called tantacrul, who made a video about it.

R/suicide watch used to be my sasu but I got banned for sharing a method lol!

 

[micheal7271]

Funnly enough I found it from a yt vid that discussing how sasu encourage ctb

 

[NatiNona]

I have heard about the existence of such forums for a long time. But never knew how to find them. Until, on my search for it, I came across a youtube video about a "disgusting pro-suicide site". He gave the rundown of how it works, how it looks so I just later used uncensored search engine, and I'm here.

 

[zanshu]

Years ago I wondered if it's possible to hang yourself with a belt, so I googled it and stumbled upon this site.

 

[hangtime1000]

New York Times article

 

[urgent]

I started struggling with autoimmune diseases. My health got worse and medications caused problems. I became disabled after a few accidents. I battled severe depression and anxiety. I did everything from gluten free, supplements, pt,acupuncture, meds, epidurals, nerve blocks, therapy,surgery. I have Lupus and other chronic diseases, nothing helps, deterioration from degenerative disc disease, severe gastroparesis,osteoarthritis,etc. I was able to work through severe pain for more than 20 years. It got so debilitating and painful severe insomnia battling dehydration I started looking into assissted suicide. Then suicide methods and finally found this site. I made friends and have lost some sadly. Others have been able to get better. Many have found peace which makes me happy for them but I feel worse still here in so much agony. I'm happy so many can get better from our help here but I understand the ones who don't exactly want to go it's that it is so unbearable to exist with no quality of life anymore.

 

[ThePainKiller]

from a youtube video from a guy warning people away from this website. decided to take a look, and here i am

i found this site on a similar way, i was watching this mr incredible becoming uncanny video about websites and sasu got mentioned in it. the guy who made the video didnt put the name so a few people in the comment section dropped the name and i decided to google it and thats how i found it

 

[90377lethe]

Rolling Stone recently published an article exposing a famous musician whose girlfriend CTB. After years of him being a shitty person and pressuring her to irresponsibly use a lot of psychedelic drugs, she had a psychotic episode. Her friends and family tried to get her help, but unfortunately she was unable to recover.

It was mostly focused on their drug use together. Towards the end of the article, it said when her phone was checked after death, they discovered that she was active on a "pro-suicide forum." She had found a partner on the forum to CTB with, had met up with this person in a South American country, and their bodies were discovered together. The forum was not named.

I got curious and started searching until I found this website. It didn't take very long.

Ketamine was the musician's drug of choice, and apparently he's famous for pushing it on others at parties, talking about it a lot while onstage, etc. It's become really popular in my country as both a depression treatment and a recreational drug. I'm curious to see if there's any kind of backlash against it because of this article. In my personal opinion, I don't think it's as safe or therapudic as everyone seems to believe. I know a lot of people who are struggling with addiction to it.

 

[EmployedHikikomori]

I first heard about this forum from a video discouraging people from going to the site. The video spoke negatively about this site, how it's for incels and pressured kids into CTB.

However, what hooked me onto it are the philosophies, this site holds that was mentioned in the video.

I was already in a bad place and I do have a passing interest in philosophy. So a video discouraging me from go into the side brought me here.

How ironic, huh?

 

[Jarring]

Found it due to the video that music guy made abt Sasu and how a fan ctb himself, and warning against the harm of the site and not recommending anyone to search for it. Took me 5 mins n I found it, lurked for a bit (I was alr spiralling, which has been a consistent part of my life) and when I really thought I screwed up my life i became active. Been visiting the site every time I fuck and and fall into a doomer cycle since (and every time I log in I have found a new low irl)

I have heard about the existence of such forums for a long time. But never knew how to find them. Until, on my search for it, I came across a youtube video about a "disgusting pro-suicide site". He gave the rundown of how it works, how it looks so I just later used uncensored search engine, and I'm here.

Maybe my memory is incorrect but afaik it used to be on the open web and appeared on google, for a while now tho ive been using duckduckgo to access.

 

[Zzzkurt]

I was watching videos on YouTube about suicide survivors. Not anyone who attempted but family and/or friends talking about someone they know who CTB. I came across one with a mother that was pissed off at Amazon for selling SN and other items. The media outlet covering the story showed a "kit" (honestly they were reaching with that kit claim) containing 3 items. One of the items they drew attention to was a book called the peaceful pill handbook.

I tried finding more about the book and stumbled across a digital copy. I was familiar with most of the info in it so I kinda skipped around. Then I got to the chapter about SN and SA and started doing some research about them. I realized quickly that there wasn't any way to find the stuff I wanted to get and I decided to go back to the book. However, I lost the link so I just kept trying different searches and I accidentally clicked a link and it was to this site on a post about SN. Idk how becuase I didn't even search anything with that in the keywords.

Now idk if you've heard the typical "you're not alone" or "I know exactly what your going through" lines by people who might've been sad before — pretending they know what depression or existential dread is like. Well for me it feels like a disrespectful thing to say. Because if you've truly knew that feeling, you know that's not something you'd even dare telling someone else who's lived in that for the majority of their life. Because in the end they truly have no idea what it's like for you. It's different for everybody so you somewhat are alone. I say all that to say this… when I started reading posts on here and seeing how everyone is.. it was the first time I ever felt like I found people who know exactly what I'm going through.. without anyone having to say a single word to me. I mean I didn't even have an account yet so they couldn't have if they wanted.

I'm glad I found it. It's like I finally had this sense of relief. Because it's like I truly felt alone until now.

 

[midwallace]

i'm curious on how everybody found this forum. in my opinion it's pretty hard nowadays to find such communities online because of how heavily restricted everything is on the internet.

personally, it was thanks to a YA novel titled "I Was Here" that talks about a girl investigating her best friend's suicide and found out she was on an online forum (such as SaSu). It featured and explained terms like "CTB", "SI", and showcased the general vibe of this website and how it worked, but it never gave any names. I read it in 2023, at a time where i was heavily (as usual) depressed and hopeless, so I dug around online desperately trying to find if such a forum actually existed. Lo and behold I end up finding this site.

fun fact, i made my account back then but only lurked once or twice because i was too scared i think, and i wasnt in a place back then where ctb was an option i could seriously consider. never tried to use the site again.

Until a couple weeks ago lol. obviously ive been in a bad place multiple times in between, but this time im the most serious about it than ive ever been. i remembered the existence of a site but couldnt for the life of me remember its name, so I had to dig around again for quite some time and find it in some NYT article talking about SN and SaSu. I always thought that back in 2023, i lurked as a guest and never made an account, so then i tried registering an account using the same username and email as I did 3 years ago (having completely forgotten that i did), and was so shocked to see that it said the email was already in use. i then logged in instead and there u have it. it made me extremely sad to see that in 3 years, i hadn't changed a bit, down to the username i used on such a site that i never use anywhere else, and even the password that i got right on the first try.

Oh well. i talked a bunch but anyway, just wanna know what's yall's story on how you stumbled upon such a place :)


Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

To no one's surprise, I found it in sub twitter

 

[kompyany]

I came across this website while researching a deceased person who had chosen CTB. He had posted a link on his profile with the caption: "Found a great discussion forum." I couldn't access the site the first time, but when I finally opened it, I was surprised to find exactly what I was looking for. I'm truly grateful he shared this website with me.

 

[thenamesgoon]

i was researching the effectiveness of paracetamol induced overdosing and ended up finding discussion about this forum and how it pushed people to suicide

 

[fadedghost]

I was happy and carefree and had some free time and wanted to learn more about the world so I went to the BBC website and was reading the BBC and saw an article about SaSu, but they didn't name the forum. I wanted to learn more, so I went to YouTube and found videos about SaSu. The videos and articles made me sad and I realized ctb made sense for me.

 

[trxll]

in my old english class where the teacher made us watch a documentary that showcased the site and warned about it. I remembered about it recently

 

[lifesnotfair]

Reddit

 

[imissmycatsomuch]

I found it from a youtube video that didn't make any effort to obscure the forum's details despite warning people not to go here, lol.

 

[softtodie]

I found it through the same book, I read it years ago and then remembered it last year and went to see if there was anything similar.

 

[lastheartbeat]

i found it through wpd, someone posted a link there

 

[Vivissa]

Chat gpt, I asked why lostallhope.com was shutdown. Withouth asking it, he reffered to SaSu as another "problematic website"

 

[DTWAFavor]

i think 2-3 years ago i was on YouTube looking for stuff on suicide and there was a video talking about this site going "oh its so bad! the horror!".. so i checked it out. I kinda wish i had made an account sooner but i was too chicken, and also a minor. Recently i found another video on this site when again feeling suicidal and looked up phrases i remembered so it would show up in the search results.

 

[LastBusStop]

Googled suicide websites, I found some old dead forums & kept looking. Surely there has to be an active community, right? Next thing I know I found it.