Reoccurring dream

[ppie41]

I have a reoccurring dream about ctb. One of my biggest fears is going out alone … but in this dream I have a partner with me. I'm not sure what she is to me, it doesn't feel romantic but I guess there's nothing in the dream to state otherwise. The location we're in changes from dream to dream for some reason, sometimes we're in my closet ( where I plan to ctb if I do it at home ), sometimes we're in a forest clearing … but we always take pills. We fall asleep together and peacefully pass away. The girl that's with me doesn't exist as far as I know, she's somebody my brain made up but I still look for her everywhere I go. She has pin straight brown hair, no bangs, and a middle part, pale skin, round brown eyes, and pink lips. Her presence is so relaxing in my dreams and almost completely eliminates my SI. I always wake up right before I pass, and it's very jarring every time. I wish that I could make those dreams a reality, but unfortunately I don't think this woman even exists. I wonder what it means?

I think it's just reflective of my desire to have a partner with me when I ctb. Something about that is just so beautiful to me.

 

[starlightsun]

That sounds like a very comforting dream. It would be 'nice' (silly word to use I know) to go out with somebody else and not be alone.