I've dreamed of affection by the opposite gender, naturally because this is a rare occurrence I instantly try to wake myself up, I fail. So I buy into it and as she holds my hands, I wake up, looking at the ceiling with such despair, my mind is playing tricks on me, I hate myself, I want to die, my ctb date is moving up day by day as time passes, I can't take this anymore. pls god if you're reading this just end it.
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