Venting Relapse after almost 8 years

[burner4242]

I relapsed a couple weeks ago, and just earlier tonight. I haven't self harmed by cutting since I was 15/16yo. I usually just hookup with strangers as a form of self harm but idk if I can mentally handle that anymore. My leg is bluddy, raw and stinging. I've been numb for weeks now atleast it's something.The last couple months have been a living hell. I've had 2 failed attempts in the past 2 years idk what's really keeping me from having a 3rd maybe successful attempt. My family hates me, I have no more friends I was traded for religion. Nothing and no one to live for. Maybe if I get lucky and if I decide to hookup with someone again they'll do me a favor and end it for me.

 

[iloverachel]

Welcome to the forum I am so sorry you are in so much pain my friend

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm so sorry you've been suffering like that. Is your leg okay or do you think it needs medical attention?
I hate it so much how one can just relapse after so long, I've been battling mental illness for 17 years now and relapses is what I hate the most.

Unless you're trying to implode your life by hooking up with strangers, please be safe

 

[burner4242]

I'm so sorry you've been suffering like that. Is your leg okay or do you think it needs medical attention?
I hate it so much how one can just relapse after so long, I've been battling mental illness for 17 years now and relapses is what I hate the most.

Unless you're trying to implode your life by hooking up with strangers, please be safe

I think it's ok it's scabbed over still kinda sore. We'll see about hookups they're not something that I'm proud of but atleast I sorta feel like I'm wanted around for a brief time.