Recovery Partners Megathread

[coffee]

I'm a 42 year old male from Brazil. Open to talk to anyone. Love you all

 

[nopointofliving]

Hello everybody:) I signed up on this site more than two months ago with the clear intention of finding a ctb partner and dying.I have been suffering from severe depression for many years and it has evolved over time to take it all away.I have attempted suicide several times during this year and last month I found my ctb partner and we have put in action our plan but we are still alive because he in front of death has found hope and changed his mind and me...well i have not succeeded to kill myself even though I had the chance to do it twice with sure death(don't ask me why,because I still don't understand why I failed...why i didn't do it).Three weeks ago I got out of my deep despair and I'm thinking that I could give my life another chance just because i'm not even able to kill me.So it's not like I'm really in recovery because I'm very unstable and I often struggle with suicidal thoughts and I feel lost,sad and trapped.But i would like to give it a try...I have no one to rely on ... or rather I have a family that I hate and makes me suffer a lot (I don't talk to them but unfortunately I depend on them financially),i don't have a life basically,it's a lot of time that i'm out of society.thanks to ss every now and then I exchange a few words with some members or former members on some social network and this has helped me a lot and helps me but they are few messages every now and then.I would really like to be able to make connections with someone maybe become friends because I feel the loneliest person in the universe and really loneliness is cruelly torturing and killing me I would like someone to chat with ... talk about anything, maybe support us each other.I am a listening and tolerant person ... I don't think I'm very interesting though.I'm 27 / F from Italy...It would also be nice to meet and maybe hang out together but it seems difficult ... maybe there is some Italian who is looking for a friend?I have been unlucky with chatmates before...i hope now i could find someone that is looking for the same thing,someone to talk and support each other.So...please Pm me.we can chat here on SS on on discord if you like.Thank you

Can I apply for your friendship and sistership again :) Love you sister... all the best! <3

 

[S like suicide]

Can I apply for your friendship and sistership again :) Love you sister... all the best! <3

Oh...this is so sweet!<3 thank you my dear<3<3<3

 

[raison_d'etre]

l̸̨̾̉̃͂̀̽́̾̅͝i̶̡̙̻̼͎̻̞̗̯̊́̒̎̀͒͜f̶̥͚̘̘̺̏̂̑̊̔ę̸̠͍̩̬́͒͋̾̓̉̉̉̕ ̵̛͈͕̟̯̾̎̓̆͛̚͘w̵̘͛̽ḭ̴͋̋́̅̈́ţ̶̟̮̲̟͇̟̟̫̰̔͌͝͝h̶̨͖͎̔̏͛ͅ ̴̛̙͔̭͕̉̒͛̀̍͋͒͘͠t̸̖̻̤̟̃́̔̈́̆̔̈́͘ĥ̴̢̨̘̝͙͓̲̔̏̈́͗̊͌̅̒́ḙ̴̞͔̺̊̅̋̚̕͝͠͝ ̸̯̣͚͓̜̯͕͂̉̑̂̐k̷̖̼̈́n̷̛̟̪͉͈̬̈ö̸̢̲̬̟̪̩̰̪͝͝w̸̓̈́͋̈́͒̈́̄̚ͅl̶̬̎͆́̅̓̇̄̚͜͝e̴̩̥̠̱͗̃̇͠ď̵͈͛̒g̷̳͇̘͙͈̭͊̽̓̎͒é̴̤͓̯̪̒͗̋͑̒͠ ̸̘̗̤̹̱̩̖͑͜ǫ̸̗̣͍̥̭̤̪͇͗̑̉́̊͋f̵̨̨̛̩͔̪͇̥̺͕̍̃̈́͜͝ ̷̤͈͙̫̔͗̂͛͜͝ḏ̶̉̾̒̽e̸̪̗͌̐́̑à̶̢̩͎̪͖̼͂́͊͂͘͜t̴̛̛̞̞͕̜̳̗̥̻̉́̄̾̊̋͘ͅh̷̩͇̤̄̉̓́͒̀͂͂͘͜͜͝ ̷͍͚͌̌i̴̟̦̥̖̩͖̱͚̐̽͐s̷̨͓̭͈̬͖̟̝͇͑̔͒̾́ ̶̡̦̦̫̲̯͕̌̿́î̷̪̱͑͒̈̃͛͌͝n̴̛̪s̴̻̍͒͋ä̷̝͍̻͛̊ņ̶͓͖͔̘̩́̀͊̎̃̇i̸͙̅̓͐̚͝͝ṯ̴͈̔y̷̢̡̛̩̬͇̼̬͎̳̍̈́,̷̨͙͚̦̱͑̌̀ ̶̨͈̬͚͓̤̻̮̮́̈́́̕͝w̷͈͕̃̃̃́̿͆̓͐͐͘e̷̢̫̝̝̮͔͓͔̹̋̍͗̊͂͒̕ ̴͍̤̖̬̯̠̮̭̌̂̎̂͋̈̾͘͝ͅl̷̺͎̠̙͚̥͖̥̊̎͌̈́̆͒î̴̡̟̳́̌̂́͗̚ͅv̷̗͓͎̫̣̍̎e̴̠̩͛̓͐̌̾ ̶̲̰͙̻͒̆̀̎́̏̀̉̍ṯ̸̙͂̏͐͑̍̓͛́͂ơ̷̢̢̨̠̬̰̞̰̓̿̇̀͋̇̒̃̕ͅ ̸̮̂͌̄͝l̴̨̩͉͈͔̟̞̒e̴̹͋̿͗̐̈́̎̄ḁ̷̧̼͐͑̊͒̌͗̄̕͘͜ͅr̴͕̈́̐͗̃̕͘͝n̶̨͇̱̰̣͕̏͑̉̉̈́̅ ̴̞̂̂̌̇̈̾͠͝w̴̨̨̨̮̙̹̩̘̲̹͗̊e̷̢̜̽͋͒͘͘͜͠ ̴̼͑̑d̵̡̛͍͈̣̳̺̄͒̇̾̐ì̶͉̠̭̩̥̼͖̦̇͑̓̀̓ͅe̴̥̿͛̏̕ ̵̪̼͇̟͖̰͍͉͚̇͒̌̑̍̿̈́͌ŏ̷̧̫̰̮̊v̴̝̘̩̖́̓͑̒́̓̊̎̈́ḙ̸̭̺̰͇͈̯̠̣̟͐̃̐͒͋͝r̶̛͔͓͔̭̝̲͈̈͆̿́̆̚ ̴͎͍̫̱͑ͅȃ̸͖̲̲̫̓̓̐̿̓̊̿͒̚ṋ̵̛̛̣̫͍́̈͊͋͌͝d̵̳̜̀͆̉͆͗͋̍̍͝͝ ̶̨͖̲͔̖͖̞̺̼̝̈́͊͊͗̍͆͑̈́͘ǭ̶̹͓͇̜̆̍̅͒͝ͅv̷̮̥͉̤͇̺̹̾́͋͂́̇͂͂͘ē̷̠̐̌̔̚ṛ̷͈̪̖̙̐̆͛̀̑͜͝

19M looking for anyone who wants to talk, i want real conversation, not just a quick 1 sentence message without any thought and then disappearing, then retreating me to memory as if i never existed. i want deep conversations with people of similar downfall descent in life with heavy substance use, to PTSD, or deathly abusive family members. anyone who can understand me, and the things i do

ȃ̶̡͚̙͙́̐͐̒̑̄̚̕n̷̡̻͉̜̠̱̊̄́͑͝ỵ̸͕̒̇͒͆͗͗̈́̂̚o̷̗͎̘̟͐̈̓̊n̴͎͈̠̏͘e̷̙̿̈ ̸̝̌̉͗͊p̸̡̗̖̫̼̓̇́̽͜ļ̷͕̤͚̗̠̽̂̆͜è̴̢̞͚͈̫̦̋̈͐͜͝ấ̷̧̠̝͕͇͖̓̈́ş̶̰̖̫͈̙̝̬̝̈́̊̑̀̇̾̈͝ͅȇ̵̥̾̎͆͘͜͝

 

[Rhaiyne]

I wish there were other oldies in here. :(

I'm a bit of an oldie... depending how i feel... hahahaha... I'm 48...UK....

45 non binary, UK trying desperately to want to be alive. Don't mind any gender or age. Would love to find a friend
Have PTSD, medication resistant depression with manic episodes, fibromyalgia, arthritis and CFS. But I am also a brilliant listener!

Hmm... I can relate to fibro and arthritis... really shit...

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Rhaiyne, which part roughly?

 

[Rhaiyne]

Warwickshire, Coventry

 

[nopointofliving]

do you want to apply here @death137 ?

 

[death137]

do you want to apply here @death137 ?

I'm more in the suicide road than recovery. Also I already got few close friends like you so I'm fine not applying here. Anyway thanks dear <333

 

[tabletop]

34 male. Great Lakes region of USA. Probably pointless for me to say the region cause it's not like there is anyone close enough to potentially become local real life friends.

But yeah I could totally go for some penpaling. Not necessarily an every day thing though. Maybe more like weekly.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

This has never gone well for me before. I'll try again. If anyone wants someone to vent to, I'm available pretty much all day everyday. In exchange for venting.

 

[tico]

32m in the U.S. I don't know. Might be nice to chat with someone. Stuck in that awful place most people here probably understand, between ctb and trying to go on.

 

[Volo vent]

22 years old, south america
I have been really isolated of all during my last years with few exceptions and dealing with physical and mental problems i can talk about anything i just want to have someome to share some words

 

[DthrowawayA]

l̸̨̾̉̃͂̀̽́̾̅͝i̶̡̙̻̼͎̻̞̗̯̊́̒̎̀͒͜f̶̥͚̘̘̺̏̂̑̊̔ę̸̠͍̩̬́͒͋̾̓̉̉̉̕ ̵̛͈͕̟̯̾̎̓̆͛̚͘w̵̘͛̽ḭ̴͋̋́̅̈́ţ̶̟̮̲̟͇̟̟̫̰̔͌͝͝h̶̨͖͎̔̏͛ͅ ̴̛̙͔̭͕̉̒͛̀̍͋͒͘͠t̸̖̻̤̟̃́̔̈́̆̔̈́͘ĥ̴̢̨̘̝͙͓̲̔̏̈́͗̊͌̅̒́ḙ̴̞͔̺̊̅̋̚̕͝͠͝ ̸̯̣͚͓̜̯͕͂̉̑̂̐k̷̖̼̈́n̷̛̟̪͉͈̬̈ö̸̢̲̬̟̪̩̰̪͝͝w̸̓̈́͋̈́͒̈́̄̚ͅl̶̬̎͆́̅̓̇̄̚͜͝e̴̩̥̠̱͗̃̇͠ď̵͈͛̒g̷̳͇̘͙͈̭͊̽̓̎͒é̴̤͓̯̪̒͗̋͑̒͠ ̸̘̗̤̹̱̩̖͑͜ǫ̸̗̣͍̥̭̤̪͇͗̑̉́̊͋f̵̨̨̛̩͔̪͇̥̺͕̍̃̈́͜͝ ̷̤͈͙̫̔͗̂͛͜͝ḏ̶̉̾̒̽e̸̪̗͌̐́̑à̶̢̩͎̪͖̼͂́͊͂͘͜t̴̛̛̞̞͕̜̳̗̥̻̉́̄̾̊̋͘ͅh̷̩͇̤̄̉̓́͒̀͂͂͘͜͜͝ ̷͍͚͌̌i̴̟̦̥̖̩͖̱͚̐̽͐s̷̨͓̭͈̬͖̟̝͇͑̔͒̾́ ̶̡̦̦̫̲̯͕̌̿́î̷̪̱͑͒̈̃͛͌͝n̴̛̪s̴̻̍͒͋ä̷̝͍̻͛̊ņ̶͓͖͔̘̩́̀͊̎̃̇i̸͙̅̓͐̚͝͝ṯ̴͈̔y̷̢̡̛̩̬͇̼̬͎̳̍̈́,̷̨͙͚̦̱͑̌̀ ̶̨͈̬͚͓̤̻̮̮́̈́́̕͝w̷͈͕̃̃̃́̿͆̓͐͐͘e̷̢̫̝̝̮͔͓͔̹̋̍͗̊͂͒̕ ̴͍̤̖̬̯̠̮̭̌̂̎̂͋̈̾͘͝ͅl̷̺͎̠̙͚̥͖̥̊̎͌̈́̆͒î̴̡̟̳́̌̂́͗̚ͅv̷̗͓͎̫̣̍̎e̴̠̩͛̓͐̌̾ ̶̲̰͙̻͒̆̀̎́̏̀̉̍ṯ̸̙͂̏͐͑̍̓͛́͂ơ̷̢̢̨̠̬̰̞̰̓̿̇̀͋̇̒̃̕ͅ ̸̮̂͌̄͝l̴̨̩͉͈͔̟̞̒e̴̹͋̿͗̐̈́̎̄ḁ̷̧̼͐͑̊͒̌͗̄̕͘͜ͅr̴͕̈́̐͗̃̕͘͝n̶̨͇̱̰̣͕̏͑̉̉̈́̅ ̴̞̂̂̌̇̈̾͠͝w̴̨̨̨̮̙̹̩̘̲̹͗̊e̷̢̜̽͋͒͘͘͜͠ ̴̼͑̑d̵̡̛͍͈̣̳̺̄͒̇̾̐ì̶͉̠̭̩̥̼͖̦̇͑̓̀̓ͅe̴̥̿͛̏̕ ̵̪̼͇̟͖̰͍͉͚̇͒̌̑̍̿̈́͌ŏ̷̧̫̰̮̊v̴̝̘̩̖́̓͑̒́̓̊̎̈́ḙ̸̭̺̰͇͈̯̠̣̟͐̃̐͒͋͝r̶̛͔͓͔̭̝̲͈̈͆̿́̆̚ ̴͎͍̫̱͑ͅȃ̸͖̲̲̫̓̓̐̿̓̊̿͒̚ṋ̵̛̛̣̫͍́̈͊͋͌͝d̵̳̜̀͆̉͆͗͋̍̍͝͝ ̶̨͖̲͔̖͖̞̺̼̝̈́͊͊͗̍͆͑̈́͘ǭ̶̹͓͇̜̆̍̅͒͝ͅv̷̮̥͉̤͇̺̹̾́͋͂́̇͂͂͘ē̷̠̐̌̔̚ṛ̷͈̪̖̙̐̆͛̀̑͜͝

19M looking for anyone who wants to talk, i want real conversation, not just a quick 1 sentence message without any thought and then disappearing, then retreating me to memory as if i never existed. i want deep conversations with people of similar downfall descent in life with heavy substance use, to PTSD, or deathly abusive family members. anyone who can understand me, and the things i do

ȃ̶̡͚̙͙́̐͐̒̑̄̚̕n̷̡̻͉̜̠̱̊̄́͑͝ỵ̸͕̒̇͒͆͗͗̈́̂̚o̷̗͎̘̟͐̈̓̊n̴͎͈̠̏͘e̷̙̿̈ ̸̝̌̉͗͊p̸̡̗̖̫̼̓̇́̽͜ļ̷͕̤͚̗̠̽̂̆͜è̴̢̞͚͈̫̦̋̈͐͜͝ấ̷̧̠̝͕͇͖̓̈́ş̶̰̖̫͈̙̝̬̝̈́̊̑̀̇̾̈͝ͅȇ̵̥̾̎͆͘͜͝

Hey....for some reason i cant DM people....would you mind DMing me?

 

[Grav]

53M Wisconsin. I'm open for contact if anyone wants to chat. I work off hours so my screen time is weird so more of "penpal" situation would work for me, although correspondence could be multiple times a day. I'm not doctor so understand that. Not a super exciting person but I'm always eager to talk (bent a cop's ear about police stuff for 40min when he pulled me over).

 

[j0n4th4n]

hi, 19m from Texas (United States), joined a couple months ago, been a lurker. requesting/offering help? i'm trying to find someone who can be in a friendship with me where we help each other out. uni sucks and theres too many ppl breezing by to properly get to know them, it would take ages to find someone who i can open up to about this. there's plenty of ppl online to chat with but i'm really trying to find someone irl. it's not that i don't have friends, it's that i don't feel close enough to these people, they would never understand, they have never been sad, they're always so bubbly and i can't ruin that. in any case, hmu, even if this post gets buried and you're seeing it a month late, idc, just be relatively close to my age.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

So, recommended by one of the other users, I'm here. Hello. I'm from Poland but posting from TOR, so no rat can put me in a loony bin. 40 y-o, amateur drawer, love comic-books, anime, manga nad cartoons.

 

[Enabran255]

41 year old guy in the US.

I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for at least the last decade, kicked off by some brutal bullying in college that destroyed my life. These feelings have gotten worse in recent years, ever since I lost a close friend of mine in 2019. I knew her for several years, it was a painful experience of getting very close and then seeing things inexorably deteriorate over the last handful of years. The life situation my chronic long term depression had placed me in made me powerless to change anything or prevent our drifting apart.

In the time since she passed, I've made a few attempts at recovery but they haven't succeeded. These suffocating lockdowns going on all over the world have made it very difficult to meet new people and make friends. The thing I struggle the most with these days is the pronounced feeling of isolation and loneliness, which leads to bouts of sharp despair that bring me to the verge of tears.

It would be nice to make some new friends with shared interests, who are accepting and can empathize with the darker feelings of life I mentioned above. I am an emotional/empathic person and am good with supporting close/trusted friends in those areas.

As for my interests, I've watched a ton of anime over the years and still do, I probably qualify as a weeb. I used to game a lot, I haven't as much lately but in the past I played various titles like Stardew Valley, Splatoon, most of the Zeldas including botw, Terraria, and jrpgs. Some other things I'm into are programming, reading (mostly VNs in recent years) and music.

I'm feeling a lot of despair lately, like life has definitively passed me by and it's too late to try anymore. But stupid me for some reason is still making these attempts, even though this previous attempt above from six months ago garnered zero interest.

I figure it may help to add a little more details. I've never really had an easy time making friends my whole life. That previous close friend of mine I got to know and who passed away, we got along well because we had some core shared passions, namely gaming and anime. The other thing that really helped was we could relate with each other very well from our almost identical life situations.

I've been NEET most of my adult life thanks to being a bit socially awkward and having mild aspergers, and thus haven't experienced the numerous rites of passage most have by my age. My life progress basically ground to a halt in college. It follows that my attempts to befriend others inevitably lays bare that gaping rift and things die at that point.

Maybe these words resonated with someone.

 

[Blue_mist]

In desperate need of a friend. Any one from Northern Ontario? I'm 37 m

 

[Beeper]

I'm feeling a lot of despair lately, like life has definitively passed me by and it's too late to try anymore. But stupid me for some reason is still making these attempts, even though this previous attempt above from six months ago garnered zero interest.

Hey @Enabran255 ,

I hope you had an enjoyable weekend.

I've also been dealing with a lot of despair, and generally have been pretty down about how life has ended up.

It takes great strength to be in recovery. I applaud your efforts reaching out to people.

Where are you from? I'm in the US.

 

[Enabran255]

Hey @Enabran255 ,

I hope you had an enjoyable weekend.

I've also been dealing with a lot of despair, and generally have been pretty down about how life has ended up.

It takes great strength to be in recovery. I applaud your efforts reaching out to people.

Where are you from? I'm in the US.

Thanks. I sent you a PM response.

 

[LoBea]

25/F/USA.
Would be cool to chat with other women of all ages about all different subjects including recovery. Maybe build a group chat?
PM for discord info.

I would love to be involved in this group. I can't PM you, apparently. It may be because I'm new.

 

[PTSDPigeon]

26, m, from Ireland.
I have aspergers and my social skills are quite poor but I'm open to chatting to anyone and I'm a very good listener.

don't let your disability make you live in shame. i saw a wonderful movie about a person with your disorder who got through it. I'm sorry that you have to live that way. It must be difficult. Best of luck! I feel for you :)
I found one already.

I thought I was going to get better - I thought I was. It's starting again. The urge to jump ship away from family and friends I'd never like to see again. How does one recover with people you tied to them as property, forever suspended in the minute locked into a room like you're at WACO, TX talking without an urge to throw yourself from a building? Who the hell came up with this shit? "LIfe is about the family" ? ? ?

If that's the case, I'm leaving.

 

[searchingfreedom]

26/F
USA
I'm not planning on killing myself, because honestly, with my luck I'd probably end up not only still alive but severely impaired. So while I'm here I'd really like to get as better as I can and make friends who understand the struggle. I have depression/anxiety. I really don't want to go through this alone anymore. I'm also gay so any other lgbt are welcome to message me. Sending my love to you all

 

[calminorcal]

hello all

I'm pretty sure I don't want to die, however I've had intense suicidal thoughts over the past couple years, and less intense going back to my teens. I'm in the US, in my 40's, married, 2 young daughters, outwardly successful, inwardly suffering. Really feeling confused as a dad...mine was never present in my life. Any other men, fathers of young kids out there?

 

[Ravel]

Hi
I would really like to have someone to talk to, make friends with someone since my one and only best friend deleted facebook about 5 years ago.

 

[medjooled11]

I've reached my lowest points within the last three months, and I realize my uncertainty with suicide.
Although I am depressive, melancholic, and prone to suicidal ideation, reflective thought has led me to desire recovery.

I truly want to get better, and I am here to help those who want to do the same.

I will listen to anyone.

 

[busternaught]

Hi peeps,

I'm a mid 20's University drop out from Scandinavia. Had a plan to CTB earlier this year, but since it failed, I've decided to give life another shot. I'm currently only looking for someone around my own timezone (GMT+1), as I know from experience that talking to people from around the world is the worst thing you can do for your sleep schedule :/

I want to get more into film making and photography, so if you're into that as well that would be perfect :) It's not a must though, but I just feel like it's a good excuse to go outside, seek out new places, explore nature and also do something "productive" on my PC as I edit it afterwards. Almost a form of therapy, which I'm hoping to explore more going forward.

So yeah, don't be afraid of hitting me up! Else you might miss out on meeting your potential future BFF haha

 

[Enabran255]

Trying again as things have turned really bad for me lately and I'm slipping ever more into darkness.

Previous attempts in this thread

I would like to connect with someone who I can relate to and is in a similar life situation. I've been perpetually NEET since college and so my life experiences ground to a halt at that point. I've made many attempts to try and get to know more "normie"/well adjusted individuals, but I've found I simply have no prayer of being able to relate or be comfortable around people who've left me light years behind on the road of life. I feel extremely alone and am hoping there might be someone else out there in the same kind of place in life as me.

 

[radioschizoid]

31/f/USA
I used this forum frequently back in 2018-2019 but I stopped browsing and have since forgotten my old account details.
When I stopped browsing here I decided to just continue on living. Earlier this year things were looking good for me, mentally, but I've hit a whole new low lately.
I yearn for friendship, well fuck it, any kind of human connection. However I'm an extremely avoidant type of person and struggle to make or maintain any kind of relationship. I figure folks here could hopefully probably relate to this. Past attempts to make "normie" friends in real life has been disastrous for me. I'm extremely lonely and live a pretty solitary life.
I'd prefer if only other females contact me. Sorry, but I don't feel comfortable connecting with men on a personal level at all. In threads where there is discussion I'm fine, but not one on one.