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Rounded Apathy

Rounded Apathy

Longing to return to stardust
Aug 8, 2022
779
Hi folks. 32, male, Canada. A year after moving back to my stupid big city of origin, I have successfully made almost two whole friends who I rarely see. Friends from elsewhere/earlier in life have let themselves fade into the background as I suffer more and more regularly, despite trying to lightly open up to a few of them. Would be nice to have some people to at least chat/maybe sometimes play board games online with or something. Being able to talk about dark/heavy things might also be necessary, though honestly I find most of the time it is unpleasant for me to do so myself or, depending on the particulars, hear about it from others. I've tried before and someone completely direspected my boundaries around topics, which did not feel good at all.

A relationship that's entirely virtual honestly I don't know if it's for me, but would like to try anyway, Message me if you think this might be for you.
 
L

Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
525
Looking for a gal around my age, early 30s to help recover. Prefer to be local, but not required. I live in the PNW of the USA. PM for me info.
 
S

Spyro24

Member
Jun 24, 2022
68
23 | M | Belgium

Got sent to the psych ward after oding on benzos. Tried to date and befriend a girl with BPD but it ended up destroying me since I am emotionally weak and extremely sensitive. Going to the psych ward me me realise that I deserve so much better and I am looking for someone my age and close to me to fight together and beat this misery
 
S

Shrike94

Member
Jul 7, 2022
39
28 male. Been trying to recover but will not be able to (from brain/nervous system injury). Posting here in anycase since I'd like to maybe talk about my situation and what happened/ was done to me. Or talk about anything really. Not from America.
 
G

Ggimgone

New Member
Aug 20, 2022
3
30 male, Curitiba/PR, Brasil. Eu acho que não posso mensagem privada(ainda). Eu sou um sujeito muito apático e desiludido com a vida de modo geral, mas adoraria me contatar com qualquer um. Eu adoraria ajudar alguém, talvez isso me ajudasse, ou pelo menos só conversar, eu adoro conversar, eu acho que pessoas são a única coisa que importa nesse mundo.
 
Regrets

Regrets

★★★★★
Aug 7, 2022
31
24, male, Brazil, trying to recover from depression.
I can speak portuguese and english.
Looking for anyone to talk to, vent out or anything that could help. I'm down to making friends.
I'm a good listener so if you want to vent out about anything just talk to me.
 
Teddybear

Teddybear

-
Nov 20, 2021
335
Looking for a woman roughly 30-60. No meeting required, just someone to talk to about depression with the aim of finding reasons to live.

I say "woman" because in my experience, they usually are more sensitive in these parts. But I have seen differently.
 
worst.therapist

worst.therapist

Member
Aug 25, 2022
24
27M Brasil/RS
Alguém que queira conversar ou assistir filmes/series/animes pelo discord
Caso morar próximo, da pra sair junto também.
 
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cat_supremacist

cat_supremacist

Jul 7, 2022
125
22/M
Coming to SS has been my remedy against loneliness for a whule but the posts have become so immature and shallow that I simply cannot bear it any longer. Before seeking out an alternative, I thought I'd ask here if there's anyone who's also sick of this highschool bullshit and wants to be my virtual pen-pal until one of us commits suicide or we grow tired of each other.
 
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J

jandek

Down in a Mirror
Feb 19, 2022
149
22/M
Coming to SS has been my remedy against loneliness for a whule but the posts have become so immature and shallow that I simply cannot bear it any longer. Before seeking out an alternative, I thought I'd ask here if there's anyone who's also sick of this highschool bullshit and wants to be my virtual pen-pal until one of us commits suicide or we grow tired of each other.
Things are getting busy for me right now with school starting up again, but you can send me a message any time.
 
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LastLoveLetter

LastLoveLetter

Neither ever, nor never. Goodbye.
Mar 28, 2021
581
I'm Persie. I'm a 30 year old woman and this is my last ditch attempt to live.



I almost died during my mother's pregnancy due to her unsuccessful attempts to abort me. My subsequent survival of an emergency, premature birth was considered a "miracle." I was born on the brink of death, with my intestines growing outside of my body and with brain damage that would later lead to a diagnosis of an incurable disability.

The few photos I have seen of myself post-birth show a tiny, fragile little being, mottled in shades of red and blue and barely conscious. I could fit neatly, like a wounded bird, in someone's hand.

I am one of those people that, based on probabilities, should have died. Most newborn babies in my position die, if they are ever born at all. Instead, with these many odds stacked against me, I lived. I not only regularly wished I hadn't been born, a cruel twist is that I wasn't meant to be here. I have felt that sense of not belonging - like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit - for my entire life. I was not only unwanted, but so very close to death when I was cut from my mother's womb and rescued.

Since that day, I experienced abuse and terror that words do no justice to articulate. I was physically abused, sexually abused, tortured, forced to witness extreme violence, forced to witness animal cruelty, exposed to death and so much more.

I am sharing this because it is important to understand that suicidality has been a prominent part of my life for a very, very long time. The thoughts began at the age of 4. The intent began at age 9. I have tried to take my life through several different stages, at different ages. In an existence seemingly consisting of relentless suffering with no-one to turn to, suicide was like a friend with their hand on my shoulder, assuring me that they can make all of this agony, all of this abuse, all of these bleak series of events simply vanish.

My life never felt like a "miracle." I never felt "saved." I felt broken and cursed and damaged.



This is my final attempt to find some semblance of healing. I will give my very best effort, but cannot promise to succeed, only to try my hardest.

I do not expect to "fully" recover, or to be free from my struggles. Truthfully, "recovery" doesn't feel like the right word for me. I will always have to carry the weight of my traumas on my shoulders. I will always be disabled. I will always be chronically ill. These cannot be cured - I cannot "recover" from these in the same way I recovered from a broken arm as a little girl. However, I would like to learn to manage them, to carry them without being completely crippled by them. I would like to be a better person because of my situation, not in spite of it.

The medication I am currently taking for my chronic illnesses and the progress I have made in my symptoms has instilled some hope that life with these conditions is perhaps possible for me. Not easy, but possible.

If you have read my post to this point, thank you so much for persevering and for giving your time to listen to a part of my story.



I am seeking to connect with others who are attempting to improve their lives, particularly those who have also experienced abuse and trauma. This is not a requirement, but I feel those who have endured these things understand one another more deeply, in ways that can never truly be matched by those who haven't experienced repeated abuse and trauma themselves. I am open to listening to your story if you would like to share what you have been through in life, but there is no expectation or pressure to do so.

While light-hearted chatting would be welcome, I am also interested in being able to be transparent about our feelings, our progress, our setbacks and our struggles. I am not seeking constant, forced positivity, motivational quotes, platitudes or anti-choice rhetoric. I recognise these may be useful to some, but they are not for me. I want both parties to be able to freely discuss death, suicide and to give ourselves - and each other - permission to fuck up and get lost while navigating this long, complicated journey towards making this life worth living. Let's get lost and - hopefully - find our way together.

All ages, genders, backgrounds and walks of life are very welcome to reach out. I'd much prefer to keep in contact on a different platform if possible (not immediately, but after we have gotten to know each other a little), such as Discord, Telegram or Protonmail, but I'm prepared to talk here too if that's more comfortable for you. My replies will likely be more delayed here because I try to use SS somewhat sparingly.

We can respond to one another at our own pace and create a safe channel of communication where we can chat anytime, support one another, and reply in our more able moments. I will listen and be here to provide nonjudgmental support, no matter what happens or what decision you reach in future.

Feel free to contact me anytime, and we can see if our aspirations, interests and views are aligned (and even if they are not, perhaps we can learn something new from each other).

I wish all of you the very best in your endeavour to improve your lives and I truly hope you all find the companionship and support you deserve. Sending lots of love :heart:
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
1,570
I'm looking for someone to give me motivational support with physical/cosmetic surgeries to improve quality of life.
In return I'll give friendship and any help you need to help with your situation.
Main requirement is kindness, and the energy or motivation to give support.
Another requirement is to not be imminently suicidal, hence reasons to post in the recovery section are doubled over.
I won't do anything until I find a home, but after that it should be my next plan.
UK, England.
 
necrolatry

necrolatry

Spare me a tomorrow
Oct 15, 2022
17
I have lost all close connections and I'm looking for someone to openly talk to and for someone who can provide general support. I have no preference in gender whatsoever, but they should be around my age (20). I am male and from Germany should it be of any matter.

In return I offer being fully open about anything and will give back as much support as I can. I have no limits, you can talk to me about anything you like and I will always give you my honest opinion on things. You can always reach me in emergency situations as I feel it is important to have somebody reachable at all times.

Unfortunately, I get easily attached to people in sometimes hurtful ways. For instance, by extreme jealousy. I will always make this clear when it happens and will try to take precautions to contain myself, but I won't always succeed. If any of this is a concern to you then please don't bother with me as it will make it really difficult for both of us.

If you want more information about me, I've introduced myself before in https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/introduce-yourself.3952/post-1752725
 
AgentSmith

AgentSmith

Member
Jul 31, 2022
34
I am 27 year old male. Looking for a girl. I am patient, supportive and chill. I am also a hobbyist game programmer that loves music
and loves to game so if you are cool with that then shoot me a PM! I don't really mind where you are from.
 
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ConstantBattle

ConstantBattle

Member
Dec 1, 2021
12
Hi, erm I thought I'd give this a try.
I am a 35 year old male from Slovenia, willing to try and support someone through chat, male or female, does not matter. I feel like my purpose in life is to help others in any way I can, kinda found this out by accident once I got back into society. GMT +1 if you want to be in a close or similar timezone so we are up at the same time.
If theres any Slovenians here, don't hesitate to pm me, always willing to talk to fellow countrymen and anyone else is also welcome, I'm not here to be picky, I'm here to try and help if I can.
Since im still a novice at this I may sometimes stumble with my responses, don't feel discouraged by this, I am still learning how to best help and support others.
I like to be honest, sincere and direct, willing to talk about anything and everything, you can be honest and direct with me as well, i won't get hurt and i'll understand if something about me bothers you, in fact, by telling me I can improve, no pressure from my side, I don't like to be invasive so I tend to wait for a reply before I write more myself.

So yeah, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. ☺️
 
Somebody

Somebody

The Answer is 42
Feb 16, 2021
19
25M- USA
I am trying to recover don't know exactly what I need. I have a job and am financially stable. My life still feels pointless even when things are looking up.
Would love to chat and make new friends. I am still quite isolated and feeling alone. I can be supportive and will always text you back. If someone wants to take this journey with me, please message me.

P.S. My discord is Somebody#0248 if u want to add me there directly
 
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deathbylife

deathbylife

going to die soon no one cares
Jun 21, 2022
117
Hi, 53 yr old F from 🇺🇸. Still trying to learn to trust other people. Love animals, follow politics in general, true crime and horror movie junkie. Trying to train my cat to take walks in a harness and leash. I am dealing with several mental health diagnoses. I have no idea how much help I can be to someone else, because I am often exhausted, but I would like to connect with some people or maybe a group of people in general life recovery/just trying to get by day by day.
 
WeLiveWeDie

WeLiveWeDie

Member
Jul 3, 2022
7
(25/F/Florida)
I'm looking for encouraging words or insights, maybe somebody to work out my head with, if it's not too much to ask.
My whole life has been hectic, one thing after another ever since I was a kid and this life has really just been knocking me down hard, the most recent is my husband getting murdered and the court system dragging me through trial as a witness, but the boys might get out of jail anyways .I want to stand up for my husband but it really takes a toll on my mental health, reliving it and seeing these people that murdered him but I'm subpoenaed to go by the courts and if I don't I'm held in contempt but I'm so tired .

My life had always been hectic and I just seemed to get by just enough but my husband really made me feel safe and secure for once, like a breath of fresh air and for the first time I was just genuinely happy but a senseless act took everything away from me and at first I lost it.

I was angry I started drinking and I'd get drunk and try to fight my husband's murders family and friends. I attempted suicide multiple times, I've quit drinking now but nothing makes the pain go away. I loved this man with all my heart and everything reminds me of him, I have friends and some family and I try to go out and be happy and keep myself busy at work, keep my mind busy but nothing can shake this hollow feeling in my soul, that it's all for nothing. Whats the point of life. It seems like a sick joke .
My boyfriend before this died and I've since lost 5 friends, 4 from car accidents 1 from covid and I'm having a hard time wanting to connect with my friends and family because everybody is just dying and I can't seem to have this conversation with anybody that cares about me because I know they're happy and I don't want to bring them down and be a burden but even when I hint that I'm not okay or that I miss my husband they hint that I need to move on with my life and not hold on to the past but it's hard to let go of somebody i planned out my whole life with, we were trying to have baby's and buy a house, and all my friends are in relationships, having baby's and buying houses , I haven't been to my family events and they're getting upset on why I can't just come and be happy But its hard for me when im constantly reminded of everything i dont have . So with everybody I just make small talk, be nice and slip away. I'll be stuck in bed for days on end crying or just numb getting bitched out for not coming out and being a part of everybody's life, they think I'm dramatic but I'm just trying to find my will . its been 3 years and its been a long hual, still going through court . The happiest I am these days are day dreaming on what my life with my loved ones could have been if we couldve all stayed together and lived out our lives but it's just me now . Wish I could join them wherever they are . If there's a way to recover mentally I'm just feeling lost.
The worst part is all that is just the tip of the iceberg of problems I want to overcome but right now I've just survived enough, just functioning so I can come back to my bed every night and die a little more inside .

If you have any suggestions or things that you think could help or have helped you please shoot me a message, I'm too poor for therapy.
 
H

help56

Student
Oct 4, 2022
121
Hi, 53 yr old F from 🇺🇸. Still trying to learn to trust other people. Love animals, follow politics in general, true crime and horror movie junkie. Trying to train my cat to take walks in a harness and leash. I am dealing with several mental health diagnoses. I have no idea how much help I can be to someone else, because I am often exhausted, but I would like to connect with some people or maybe a group of people in general life recovery/just trying to get by day by day.
Let me know if interested in chatting . I am female
(25/F/Florida)
I'm looking for encouraging words or insights, maybe somebody to work out my head with, if it's not too much to ask.
My whole life has been hectic, one thing after another ever since I was a kid and this life has really just been knocking me down hard, the most recent is my husband getting murdered and the court system dragging me through trial as a witness, but the boys might get out of jail anyways .I want to stand up for my husband but it really takes a toll on my mental health, reliving it and seeing these people that murdered him but I'm subpoenaed to go by the courts and if I don't I'm held in contempt but I'm so tired .

My life had always been hectic and I just seemed to get by just enough but my husband really made me feel safe and secure for once, like a breath of fresh air and for the first time I was just genuinely happy but a senseless act took everything away from me and at first I lost it.

I was angry I started drinking and I'd get drunk and try to fight my husband's murders family and friends. I attempted suicide multiple times, I've quit drinking now but nothing makes the pain go away. I loved this man with all my heart and everything reminds me of him, I have friends and some family and I try to go out and be happy and keep myself busy at work, keep my mind busy but nothing can shake this hollow feeling in my soul, that it's all for nothing. Whats the point of life. It seems like a sick joke .
My boyfriend before this died and I've since lost 5 friends, 4 from car accidents 1 from covid and I'm having a hard time wanting to connect with my friends and family because everybody is just dying and I can't seem to have this conversation with anybody that cares about me because I know they're happy and I don't want to bring them down and be a burden but even when I hint that I'm not okay or that I miss my husband they hint that I need to move on with my life and not hold on to the past but it's hard to let go of somebody i planned out my whole life with, we were trying to have baby's and buy a house, and all my friends are in relationships, having baby's and buying houses , I haven't been to my family events and they're getting upset on why I can't just come and be happy But its hard for me when im constantly reminded of everything i dont have . So with everybody I just make small talk, be nice and slip away. I'll be stuck in bed for days on end crying or just numb getting bitched out for not coming out and being a part of everybody's life, they think I'm dramatic but I'm just trying to find my will . its been 3 years and its been a long hual, still going through court . The happiest I am these days are day dreaming on what my life with my loved ones could have been if we couldve all stayed together and lived out our lives but it's just me now . Wish I could join them wherever they are . If there's a way to recover mentally I'm just feeling lost.
The worst part is all that is just the tip of the iceberg of problems I want to overcome but right now I've just survived enough, just functioning so I can come back to my bed every night and die a little more inside .

If you have any suggestions or things that you think could help or have helped you please shoot me a message, I'm too poor for therapy.
Your story just similar to mine . So Pm me . I haven’t sussed it out but like you would appreciate support
 
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A

Amccorm2

Member
Nov 7, 2022
48
Ok, here goes.

I'm here for those of you who want support, someone to talk to, an unbiased opinion or just to vent. I've got some experience in managing very complex, stressful, safety critical, often very dangerous situations. I also have experience in managing people through all of the above. I have basic coaching skills and would try to use every skill I've got to help you if I can. I'm not a councillor or therapist, I won't pretend to be.

I'll try to get the best from you and allow you to give it back to yourself. I'm not looking for romance hence gender, age, nationality and beliefs don't matter to me.

In return, honestly I've no idea what I want. Maybe to try to help someone, even if only one person. Maybe I'm trying to be a better person, I don't know. I am dead set that I will ctb but I will not burden you with my thoughts and feelings in that matter.

If you're interested, have questions or think I'm an idiot and want to voice it please pm or private chat me.

There really are some wonderful people on this site.
 
M

Meaninglessness

Existence is absolutely meaningless
Nov 12, 2022
128
Please I need a friend . I will be a friend back. I know with genuine dupport I can make it but I need help,
Hello, you are welcome to write to me if you want. I am looking for an online friend (online friends).
 
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