Discussion Ready but not set

[Wyldfyre4948]

Every day I feel anxious because I'm ready to go, but I don't have the tools. Counting down the days until I have the money to buy everything and my razor is getting charged up to shave off my beard. It would be better to get rid of it sooner rather than later so I don't arouse any suspicion from people who know how much I like my beard.

I've never been patient and I'm getting anxious as hell waiting. Living alone with nobody to talk to means my mind wanders all the time. Even when I work I'm alone most of my shift. Making plans in my head and trying to prepare myself for what needs to be done. Got videos to record so everyone knows I'm rational about this, but suicide is seen as an irrational act. In Japan seppuku was seen as a way of restoring one's honor and not something done by a crazed or irrational person. This world is backwards though because suicide is seen as the act of an irrational mind, but maybe it's more rational than they want to admit.

Right now I'm hoping to make my journey on 8/20 in the early hours. That depends on shipping times and barring any incidents.

 

[eashanm]

Good Luck

 

[Techef]

Living alone with nobody to talk to means my mind wanders all the time.

I can relate. It makes prep and actual CTB easier, but it's also kind of a torture as the days get closer to when I have to go. I find myself thinking about CTB so much, I'm having trouble focusing on the last few things I need to take care of or little things I wanted to enjoy before leaving. I feel more and more like I'm trapped in a lonely mind prison filled with nothing but thoughts about death.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, I think that those who refer to suicide as being "irrational" are the true irrational ones, to me it's perfectly logical wanting to prevent decades of meaningless and unnecessary suffering where we are destined for nothing but to be tortured by old age and die anyway. Suicide is always a valid choice and it's sad how so many people refuse to accept the fact that none of us are obligated to continue existing here.