Rate your suicidal thoughts thread (1-10)

[Arrow]

maybe a 4 or 5

 

[l0stc4use]

today it's a 6 lol

 

[xo777]

10
I trusted him and he showed everyone everything private. It's all adding up not just from what he did but from what others have done in the past years.

 

[outatime_85]

The needle has been pegged at 10 most of my life.

Some days I find ways to get it down to a 4 or less, but that is rare. That is when I am highly distracted and have no time to think about all the things I did and all that I allowed to happen to me.

Today I am at a manageable 8, but I have to pay close attention to my mood more now since the means for self-deletion are available to me.

 

[8evergo]

10 it's difficult to do it I will go now

 

[Klophy]

Started off with 10, woke up with a panic attack like most days.

At a manageable 5-7 i'd say now, thoughts are always constant, just trying to distract myself

 

[FailureGirl]

7 earlier today but 9 now the thoughts and emotions get confusing when a time to possibly ctb gets close..

 

[ImsooDone1N]

10
but I feel completely empty. have never felt like this before. I'm struggling/unable to do the most basic things.

 

[again]

10

 

[BasqueClown]

Now 9
I bought the rope actually

 

[Banshe]

Today I'm at a 9. I have everything I need (SA, meto) and a start time later today. I'm scared of what is going on in my country. That fear outweighs my fear of dying.

 

[Trezzohno]

9 or 10
had a HORRIBLE fight with my mom

 

[VerbalWinter]

Probably a 9. I potentially can be homeless soon with nowhere to go, so that's really fucking with me

 

[noname223]

Feeling really manic currently. I am really anixous to relapse.
The scary thing normally my emergency medication Z-medication and benzo (both half a pill) are very good downers. But on monday they did not work fully.

I took them this evening again. I hope they work better this time. Damn my life is so insane. My therapist sessions end very soon. It would be quite a cynical joke to end with a manic episode which would destroy every little progress we have done so far.
My life is very cynical and I am normally the butt of the joke. I really expect very horrible things to happen in my life. It is really hard to avod a catastrophe. I sometimes have the feeling it is impossible. No matter what I do I have the feeling it mostly backfires in the end.

Suicidality like 4. But far more manic.

 

[8evergo]

10

 

[annique]

6/10
i'm distracting myself as i can and it's been working as of today particularly

 

[self.destractive]

we are sitting at an eight today. genuinely was considering taking my SN tomorrow now that Ive done the blood test and know its legit. i need to stick around and get things in order though. i also need to get anti-emetics.
just going to play more vidya games to try to bide my time

 

[Euthanza]

9-10 most of the time. On a busy day it can go as low as 8 but it is there and I won't change my mind.

On the other thread I said I'm willing to give life another decade for 1 million dollar (surely it won't happen though, very little to no chance) but in the end I still want to CTB.

 

[Maravillosa]

Right now, I'd say a 5. It has been as high as 8 but not lately.

 

[Asatsuyu]

Right now I think I'd say 8? Wished this asked "how rad are your thoughts", because that'd be a solid 10 tbh. My thoughts are awesome

 

[Solar1703]

8 or 9

 

[ImsooDone1N]

9.75/10.00 (Bad)

 

[ImsooDone1N]

8.65/10.00 (Bad) - I still wanna die VERY much, but I feel slightly better than yesterday. I'm very anxious for next week to have to see a new counselor, (who I feel may be biased), though still has the potential to either be neutral or absolutely destroy my shitty existence & 100% drive me to ctb... bad drug counselor's can destroy patients, pushing them over the edge. Its not like she can know my feelings about suicide and such, so she would have no idea just how much of a 'risk' I'm at. But maybe I need that push.

 

[FailureGirl]

10 but it was closer to 7 earlier

 

[ImsooDone1N]

9.00/10.00 I Really wanna DIE!!! I feel terrible and cant seem to get any relief except thru sleep

 

[MentalPollution]

Today it's a 10. I feel like I've been emptied of organs and soul. I'm suffering more and I also found out that due to a disease I'm going to lose my memory. Either I ctb or forget about myself completely. I'll attempt partial later just to see if I can pull it off when I'll ctb. My SN should arrive soon, but it's important to have a backup method just in case something goes wrong. Thanks for reading whoever did

 

[FailureGirl]

10

 

[eternalflame]

8 and i can't wait to ctb.

 

[noname223]

5.
The pressure is crushing me. I am scared. I need addictive medication to cope. Normally I only take half a pill but yesterday this was not enough. I took a whole one. I am anxious to get addicted. Normally this is how addiction starts. Today I try not to take somethings addictive but I think this could make me very manic.
I try to pressure me less. I will study tomorrow but in a slow way.

Honestly all my options are horrible. This is a good title for my biography.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

9.0/10 Its just been really tough lately.