Random thoughts

[leaps]

I can't stand pineapple on pizza.

No!

 

[Redt2go]

Lately my Dreamworld takes on a greyish bluish filter. Also I'm always depressed about my life problems in my dreams. Way to really lay on the sad there brain.

 

[throwaway123]

hello, it's been a while.

I can't find the words to describe how I feel. I am going to kill myself. Maybe it will be this week . Not sure on the day but it will be a spontaneous thing. At some point I am just going to flip. I can feel how it has gotten worse over the past few years. I am literally losing more and more of my soul. The past few months have been the worst of my life. I can't believe it has gotten this bad. In fact when I think about it it almost seems like a nightmare. Soon I am going to do it. I can feel death coming closer with every passing day. My last remaining hope is slowly dying.


It has always been every man for himself. I was just dumb to believe otherwise.

 

[leaps]

Why not die today?

 

[wxtyubidi7y]

I feel like rational acts are ones that are the result of weighing up different courses of action and choosing one that is best even if your evolved instincts do not incline you in that direction. In which case, ctb could be the quintessential rational act.

 

[leaps]

I'm in pain today

 

[mattwitt]

Andrew Zimmern has the best job in the world !

 

[throwaway123]

I had a few revelations today:
1. We are all biological machines with fundamental weaknesses designed to procreate and survive.

2. Continuing this life is a futile effort. It is doing you no good to eat another animal to abuse other humans because eventually you'll get eaten too and abused too. This fight is a never ending fight and you think you're at the top of the food chain but guess what? Who's paying taxes? You or the ultra-rich? Who gets shot and robbed in the alley with a 9mm? Yea, it may be you or maybe you're the one commiting the crime and then what? Go to prison or get shot by one of your dealer friends ?
Life is a scam. Eventually something bigger eats you.

3.This universe was probably designed by a flawed being or thing or god if you will. At least that is the conclusion I have come to.(See gnostics)

To continue on with this life to just eventually lose in the end aswell is

See efilism....

 

[brighter]

Is this really what my life has come to? Posting memes on Reddit, playing games and posting caps on it online, just so that I can get some positive feedback and for someone to agree with me for once, just for the sake of fake points.


I'm lonely. Jobless, despite knowing that I could get a job I hate but can do. But I choose to not call and set up interviews because I'm too scared and want to mooch off my mom's hospitality a little bit longer.


Everyday is darkness, I have no friends or anyone to relate too, I watch tv/movies whole day. I diagnosed myself as having depression and anxiety. I know I have both, I know I have anxiety more, but I also wonder if I just say that to either fool myself or self destruct.


Though the fact that my mind makes up hypothecticl, irrational and ilogical situations to make me afraid, and getting worse as the days go by, is proof of my anxiety.


I regret staying alive. And yet still now I feel like I'm forced to kill myself. I dunno when I went from wanting to do it to being strongarmed into doing it. But it's so unfair that I have to do it.


Where do I go from here? What do I do? How do I find myself? How do I fix it? I guess I'll never be brave enough to know.

are you still here?

 

[brighter]

I had a few revelations today:
1. We are all biological machines with fundamental weaknesses designed to procreate and survive.

2. Continuing this life is a futile effort. It is doing you no good to eat another animal to abuse other humans because eventually you'll get eaten too and abused too. This fight is a never ending fight and you think you're at the top of the food chain but guess what? Who's paying taxes? You or the ultra-rich? Who gets shot and robbed in the alley with a 9mm? Yea, it may be you or maybe you're the one commiting the crime and then what? Go to prison or get shot by one of your dealer friends ?
Life is a scam. Eventually something bigger eats you.

3.This universe was probably designed by a flawed being or thing or god if you will. At least that is the conclusion I have come to.(See gnostics)

To continue on with this life to just eventually lose in the end aswell is

See efilism....

I did but i don't get this:
"DNA has been causing mass torture for 100,000,000s of lives for 100,000,000s of years"
Can you explain it to me? Does it mean that just by giving us DNA, giving us life, God has made us open to pain and unnecessary torture?

 

[Memento Mori]

hope is just a whim of nature

 

[brighter]

hope is just a whim of nature

Thank you for introducing me to a good song. The vid also had me all up in my feelings. How do you shut hope out though? Can you?

 

[Memento Mori]

Thank you for introducing me to a good song. The vid also had me all up in my feelings. How do you shut hope out though? Can you?

Huh, which song do u mean?

No I can't because I don't want to, even if in many moments I know it may just be a trap and maybe it's even no thing of choice or attitude, I still hope for something good or at least I'm just enjoying the short moments of being free of burning chains ...who wouldn't? Hell I would take diacetylmorphine if someone offers me, I'm annoyed of that shit but it just won't get away while time flows so I'll just try to see it as judgement and invitation to esteem that it could be a little bit worse, maybe this changes something in my insides on a complicated psychological way or maybe it's just a waste of time, anyways I'm gonna keep consuming that good stuff that gives me the suitability not to instantly kill myself in one of the worse moods and havin some joy, maybe that will work for some more time if I upgrade to benzos/opiates :D It's not that easy to get benzos around here so maybe I'll order some Etizolam from the Netherlands for anxiolytic support

 

[sólstafir]

I remember being 7 or so and I suddenly just didn't want to keep living, I felt the soul anguish of being alive, so I layed down on a floor and cried as long as there were tears and watched the yellow lamp through tears. I didn't cry because I had lost something or someone, I cried because I hated the feeling of having to exist, and grownups have no answers to soul problems themselves, mother shamed me, and I'm crying there without proper vocabulary for feelings. Then I stood up and went to watch some shit on TV as nothing had happened.

 

[ctrl_alt_delete]

Just want to say how much I fucking love you guys (sorrynotsorry for swearing) but fuck me sometimes you just blow me away with your love.

And then I don't know how I feel about that because I don't want to hurt you by leaving.

And then I remember we're all cool with that.

And then I love you all over again.

Being human is weird.

 

[Life sucks]

Every day moving is getting more near to the end. But its ugly end and ctbing is escaping from that ugliness. The way is dark and life sucks and I need to leave. Fuck life

 

[leaps]

My life feels like a joke

 

[Buddyluv19]

I wish I could sleep - like my cat. She sleeps 18 hours a day.

 

[lost.ghost]

On clear nights where the stars and moon show, I get a feeling of euphoria but also sadness. Looking at the stars and moon I realize how fucking huge the universe is, and how small and insignificant I am. I would love to die and just become apart of the universe (if that makes sense, hope it doesn't sound silly)

 

[lost illusions]

Thinking about leaving ss and discord, maybe for a while maybe for good. I don't know yet. Please pardon my funk but I feel I'm only trapped in another illusion

 

[Memento Mori]

"Life can't get any worse :(", says my pessimistic voice...
"Yes, it can! :)" replies my optimistic voice

 

[Johnnythefox]

Mum's birthday do today, she's eighty tomorrow. It's painful to watch her be consumed by dementia.

 

[Johnnythefox]

My 2000th post, I'm now angelic! Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

 

[WayOut]

Mum's birthday do today, she's eighty tomorrow. It's painful to watch her be consumed by dementia.

Dementia is cruel to a person when it starts, then cruel to everyone else when it becomes advanced. I have watched someone go that way. The progression is brutal, particularly so with early onset when the person is physically healthy, so they live for many years as an empty shell.

 

[Donewith_]

I wish I am not the reason for many people's smiles and happiness. I can not break hearts. This is beyond what I can take. Why should this happen am helpless

 

[Donewith_]

I buried many people, many lives, my own blood. My birth was a disaster.. that should have been avoided at any cost.
I am born to kill people.

 

[Sinbad]

I prefer being on members profil then the general forum. More peaceful there. No confrontations just love. I desperately need that rn with my current state of mind.

 

[thatguyakira123]

are you still here?

Yes unfortunately

 

[Johnnythefox]

My brother made this for my mum's birthday, a true professional at work. He's got some great stories from his life in kitchens.

 

[WayOut]

My brother made this for my mum's birthday, a true professional at work. He's got some great stories from his life in kitchens. View attachment 6372

Quietly hoping that it's not a haggis cake.

I fear the worst.