Random thoughts

[WOODESITY]

I'm Tired and don't even have energy to eat something i just cooked, i just want to exit this fucking existence right now, what did i do to deserve to be brought in life, nothing, i was not i, but out of nowhere my parents decided to have a child for their selfish desires, why am i paying the price now, these words are probably nothing, I'm nothing to myself, just consuming machine full of needs and wants, all i do is to take, humanity, i wish i was never born, I'm not thankful for being here, it's sad, full of suffering, still there are places where people are allowed to take their lives only if they're qualified by so called professionals, why do they get to decide, and not ones who want to exit, fucking hell, this life is disgusting, ugly and full of suffering, i hate this life, i don't think i can keep living for long, every single day is a torture, i need to die, death is probably best thing that can happen to me, death solution for all suffering, dead is gone, no feelings nothing, nothingness..

 

[Mr. Whippy]

and just maybe
i'm to blame for all i've heard
i'm not sure

 

[Hirokami]

I need to master stoicism ASAP. I feel that would be my most successful coping method at the moment. I keep embarrassing myself because I suck ass at hiding my emotions. Sometimes, I envy sociopaths.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

Why is suicide illegal? Like why?!? I just don't understand! It should be a human right! Everyone should have the choice to die peacefully and with dignity! :( legalizing suicide and assisted suicide will make the world a much better place! If people think suicide is bad because of their religious beliefs then that's their decision but they can't impose their religion over the whole world. I also believe the "mental health" system is bs, and shouldn't be forced over anyone. If people want to seek help from a psychiatrist or therapist and follow their ideology that's okay but many people can find healing in other ways like philosophy, community, etc... make suicide legal! Make assisted suicide legal! It's a human right! It's our own life! Our own pain! We are the ones living with the pain, we are the ones that should have the right to choose.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I'm not who I want to be. I'm such a painfully unappalealing, unattractive person. Therapy. Ha. Dazzle me, tell me how therapy is going to fix me. The things they advise are such a load of BS.

 

[Fehler]

I told myself last year that I would not make it to 28 and here I am ...

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, then that tree is me.

 

[throwaway123]

Every day is pretty much the same which is slowly wearing me down mentally. I just want a change but I don't have the courage nor the mental capacity to actually make something happen.
On top of that I have no goals I just live because I am already alive.

same

 

[http-410]

Damn, I didn't know that hotels are closed to ordinary people. I don't know if I should wait until they reopen or think about doing it somewhere else. I think I'd feel more comfortable doing it in my bed, but the risk of something going wrong is too high.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I keep thinking that I am unlovable because I lack multiple fundamental characteristics of a lovable person.
But then, I've met plenty of people who were fixated on their particular flaw or a thing they lacked and believed it was the reason why they could never have good things in life. And it was always some superficial characteristic I would never consider when deciding if they can be my friend, my employee, my lover, someone I admire. Why do I even like certain people? Is that because they are young, rich, tall, skinny, conventionally attractive, educated? None of these reasons. Maybe none of those reasons really define how lovable you are. Maybe it's something else.
Maybe just warming up to people genuinely with no agenda is enough to become lovable?

 

[Meditation guide]

I ate something with sugar today and have brain fog from it.

 

[thatguyakira123]

I believe in coincidences because I'm an atheist but every time I'm having a good time something just happens to ruin it and it always happens early on. I get it universe, I'm not compatible with you, you don't have to remind me.

Why is suicide illegal? Like why?!? I just don't understand! It should be a human right! Everyone should have the choice to die peacefully and with dignity! :( legalizing suicide and assisted suicide will make the world a much better place! If people think suicide is bad because of their religious beliefs then that's their decision but they can't impose their religion over the whole world. I also believe the "mental health" system is bs, and shouldn't be forced over anyone. If people want to seek help from a psychiatrist or therapist and follow their ideology that's okay but many people can find healing in other ways like philosophy, community, etc... make suicide legal! Make assisted suicide legal! It's a human right! It's our own life! Our own pain! We are the ones living with the pain, we are the ones that should have the right to choose.

There is also the fact that most people have this hero complex. And most people, from their perspective, thinks life is the bees knees cuz they only focus on the little "good" it gives. Life to me is literally the ultimate narcodic. Once you get comfortable with it, it's hard to see it for the destructive thing that it really is. People like us is a reminder of that reality, but because people are addicted to being alive they choose to see us as the wrong ones.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I desperately want to change the past, but I can't... CTB is the only option left to escape this awful reality. Had a great life but now it's ruined thanks to stupid pills I didn't even wanted to take. My life is a big cosmic joke.

 

[signifying nothing]

I feel like a wild animal gnawing at its own leg, trying to escape a snare.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I look kinda handsome,
and I would totally fuck myself.

Only if I belonged somewhere and felt comfortable,
gone to the gym,
I could probably pull most girls.

The thing is, I had other priority.
I would like to fix that.

 

[Manaaja]

Some idiot called me at 4pm, I thought it was a salesperson so I ignored it. 40 minutes later I get a message "I'd had a talk with you about your issues, but since you didn't answer or call back, let's move the call to tomorrow." WTF?! How should I have known that it wasn't a salesperson calling? Finnish people usually stop working at 4pm, and the only people who call after 4pm are almost always salespeople selling some useless crap. And why did that idiot wait for 40 minutes before texting me? I was told last week that someone might contact me this week, but since it was already 4pm on Wednesday I thought they had either forgotten or that they'd call me on Thursday when I usually have my help meetings/calls.

I'm dead tired. I'm suffering from severe anxiety, panic, and depression right now because of my life situation. And still my brain would have worked enough to first send me a text message earlier today (or even yesterday) to tell me that they're gonna call me at 4pm. So when I saw some weird number calling, I'd have known it who it was. And if I didn't answer, I wouldn't have waited for 40 minutes, I'd have immediately send another text message to inform the client that now would be time to have a chat. And maybe even tried calling again one more time.

And people say that aspergers lack common sense and are idiots. I feel like I'm the only one with an IQ over 75 in my town. I guess I am one of those so called geniuses who are only born once in a generation like in an anime. :S

 

[http-410]

It's sad. Or am I too sensitive? Or both...

 

[signifying nothing]

Am I making progress, or creating leverage for toppling something more significant, more substantial?

As above, so below.

 

[Imaginos]

Overall, I really have no idea how many other ways it is I can word how awful everything is for me. It's like every fucking night is always a new low. And this one is no exception. But god damn, does tonight fucking suck. I keep repeating the same old bullshit for the umpteenth time. Can't even fucking motivate myself to exercise anymore. Nearly everything I do is slowly eaten away at the edges, until it inevitably comes tumbling apart completely. Enh, to hell with it all. Nobody cares. Whether it's here, or out there. Nobody fucking cares. Everybody clamors about their problems every god damned day on this website and so what? It's all so fucking useless. Just a bunch of worthless fucking words, sent back and forth ad nauseam. I can't understand why anyone bothers at all. It takes all my energy to even do or say this much. And, ultimately, it gains me nothing. Perhaps the smallest tinge of catharsis that then disappears a nanosecond later. Fuck.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Let's go, post #7777!

 

[http-410]

I'm sick of politics.

As if the pandemic and its excesses were not already dystopian enough, more and more surveillance is planned and no one cares. According to the motto: "We have nothing to hide." This country makes me sick. It's not just the politics made by old people who don't have a clue about technology and the Internet, but everything else as well. If I ever got old, which I'm glad I won't, I would die in poverty. I'm too crippled to live and work. One has to wait forever for an appointment and there is no guarantee that one will be treated "long-term". Psychotherapy is limited. Apart from that, no one has any idea how to "help" me. Ugh. I need to stop reading the news.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I'm so scared I'll never be able to ctb

 

[omoidarui]

There was a thread about "do you read everything on this forum like an anime character saying it?" and I can't find it any more

wanted to post something

 

[angelfeather]

I wish yesterday would have worked, but oh no I'm still here suffering....

 

[030366]

It's hard to control the mind, our mind is ruminating most of the time, either you are thinking about the past (stuff that you could have done differently, remembering happier times) or you are wondering about the future and its uncertainty (Creating a thousand scenarios in your head that actually might never happen) the funny thing is that we can't control either one (We can't change the past nor we can predict or control the future in any way) yet our mind still tortures us this way, it's really hard to stay focused on the present moment when you are anxious and fearing something that might happen or regretting something that already happened.

 

[signifying nothing]

There was a thread about "do you read everything on this forum like an anime character saying it?" and I can't find it any more

wanted to post something

Here: Is it just me or...

 

[GrumpyFrog]

There's no true love, absolute goodness, justice or some methaphorical cookie you get for being a good person in this world.

There is, however, music, food, booze and attractive human beings (and adult content featuring them) in this world. All of these things are very much real and do exist, and make this world somewhat worthwhile. And all of your fancy high ideals and aspirations - well, that's what imagination is for. At least when it's not busy with the "attractive human beings" part, but you can combine both, just look at the Hollywood movies.

 

[http-410]

It doesn't stop. I have to get out of here.

 

[http-410]

Geez, sometimes I think I have a form of autism. It stresses me out when my routine gets messed up or unexpected things happen like now.

 

[Manaaja]

I feel like I'm high. I read that hemp oil and reishi can be good for mental health so I bought both of them today and ingested a few doses and I am feeling a little less depressed and a little high.

If anyone wants to try them, they're totally legal and easy to buy. I bought them from a shopping center.