Random thoughts

[Sinkinshyp]

I want to go to heaven and bring my son back

 

[http-410]

What a wasted day. I try my best and it just gets worse.

Sometimes I just want to crush my head until it pops.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I just want it all to stop.

 

[http-410]

Pointless days are passing by. The sun rises, the sun sets. It feels as if I am several thousand years old. Thinking a lot about the final moment. How relieving it would be to leave everything behind.

This can only be a dream.

This machine is broken. I have to turn off this machine.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

And now a group member from one of my classes is rightfully upset that I haven't been joining the online classes for a while. To be fair it seems our other group members have also not been showing up but I just don't feel like logging in right now. I don't have the energy to do anything useful or productive...

 

[Shinkansen]

tomorrow I go back to the driving school because I need a car to work and be independent.
the problem is that I hate cars and road traffic and have never managed to get my license in 28 years, if there is one thing I hate with all my heart is driving:
I hate roundabouts, I hate automatic transmission, I hate the clutch pedal, I hate traffic lights and even cars make me sick.

I wish I didn't need to drive to live.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I woke up and I analyse my life situation,
I don't know what the f to do with it.

might be easier I just kill myself
In all seriousness.

aw man!

 

[Disappointered]

I can't listen to music anymore. Too many bad memories. Hoping to become a proper man...what a joke. Old but just a useless manchild within. No one respects and why would they. I failed at everything i tried at and am a washed up zero with an education that retains the bulk of its value through the occupation it leads to but I'm not 'occupied' and never will be. British rock, heavy metal, industrial, electronic, rap, neo-folk, experimental...what's left? Am I just living in another aging phase of the same shit wasting away and finding some new hope to cling to only to be disappointed in a year or so...again? Should I just listen to white noise? I just listen to more and more extreme podcasts but even those have been exhausted.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

as much as i've told people to not slit their throats, stabbing my own seems so, so more enticing than just dry heaving in my bed as the sn works its magic. not to mention it seems faster. i'd have to study anatomy, but i'm still drawn to it. if i do end up stabbing my throat, then i would have wasted all that time on sn, then, wouldn't i?

 

[Disappointered]

as much as i've told people to not slit their throats, stabbing my own seems so, so more enticing than just dry heaving in my bed as the sn works its magic. not to mention it seems faster. i'd have to study anatomy, but i'm still drawn to it. if i do end up stabbing my throat, then i would have wasted all that time on sn, then, wouldn't i?

I often wondered why people don't just slit a jugular vein and just wait to pass out. I guess it's harder than it sounds.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

I often wondered why people don't just slit a jugular vein and just wait to pass out. I guess it's harder than it sounds.

i'd assume they don't like the pain that'll come with the method, or they don't like the idea of their corpse being... well, uglier than what's normal for a corpse.

 

[Disappointered]

i'd assume they don't like the pain that'll come with the method, or they don't like the idea of their corpse being... well, uglier than what's normal for a corpse.

Yeah, i guess it's difficult to get all the way to the right vein or something. I think there's a scene in the movie 'Drive' in which a guy cuts another guy's neck on the side with a razor blade and then says something like "it's okay, it's over, just relax, it'll be over soon now"...seems pretty ideal...too bad it's probably not realistic?

 

[nerve]

Another "crying alone" night

 

[antigone_iris]

Time is stressing me out I'd like a time machine or the ability to manipulate time however I want.

 

[Delia]

Good news for those who bought SN from the C seller back in december from last year: Unless you keep your SN unsealed it should still be potent after a year of it being idle in your stuff, i tried the blood test, my drop of blood immediately turned into a lovely shade of brown as expected

though the product is hard as rock, it's rather impressive.

 

[http-410]

I really wanted to yell. Where does this anger come from?

Sometimes I wonder if members who caught the bus end up as vegetables and cannot express themselves here anymore.

 

[woxihuanni]

I wonder if the Abomination spiked her cunt with heroin back in the day? Considering how completely she is useless in bed, that is the only hypothesis I have why she owns my husband despite selling the cunt to somebody else now.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

What if my future child/children are just as suicidal as me and they have access to time travel so they've been ruining my life behind the scenes to ensure they never get born?...

EDIT: Happy 2000th post to me I guess, now I'm finally purple.

 

[Lilacmoon]

A lot of people are good, innocent, and didn't deserve what happened to them.

I did. I do. I caused it. I could not control how much I needed affection, attention, love. I betrayed boundaries and hurt people. So I ended up hurt, abused, as I drifted left and right from love to love. I was a slave to how much I needed it to fill how empty I was, how worthless I was, so I could feel something other than the overbearing emptiness. I'm not good. Not kind. I just chase my need for affection wherever it takes me.

Most people don't deserve their suffering. Me? I caused it each step of the way. It is what it is. I should stop complaining.... I'm the least valid here. Even now this post is just trying to trick people into giving me sympathy >:( Habits never change.

 

[Lmd]

The human body srsly need to evolve. Why is my body wasting resources preparing something that will not happen. Jesus im so tired

 

[http-410]

Wow, I'm done.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I think about all of the close calls that I've had over the past two years alone. The stress is unbearable and it keeps me up at night.

 

[woxihuanni]

Let my day come.

 

[Rue89]

I'm afraid I made someone angry with me. They haven't messaged me back. I'm sorry. Ugh, why do I always fuck everything up? I see why everyone avoids. I always say the wrong things, always mess up, I'm just unlikeable. I'm done trying.

 

[waived]

I'm afraid I made someone angry with me. They haven't messaged me back. I'm sorry. Ugh, why do I always fuck everything up? I see why everyone avoids. I always say the wrong things, always mess up, I'm just unlikeable. I'm done trying.

I messaged someone and they didn't message me back either but it's okay.

 

[Rue89]

I messaged someone and they didn't message me back either but it's okay.

We were in the middle of a conversation that I thought was going good though, then they just stopped replying. I guess I said the wrong thing. That's the only reason it bugs me.

 

[KleinerWolf]

We were in the middle of a conversation that I thought was going good though, then they just stopped replying. I guess I said the wrong thing. That's the only reason it bugs me.

I had that happen as well.
It's not always us, darling.
Could be any reason.

 

[Disappointered]

Abject humiliation and generalized failure is pretty much the tldr version of my story. How can I be so feeble and infantile yet reside in this now shockingly aged body? Others of my age group would never imagine being such a weakened zero who takes up such pathetic cowardly roles. But somehow I'm at the bottom of every social hierarchy and I know it. So much so that no possibility of becoming an adult was even ever available. I live like a rat. At least a rat is meant to...what am I.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I wish I could spend one more night hanging out with you, then die the next morning. If I could only talk to you again and let you know I'm sorry and we'll be able to hang out like we used to at least for a little bit, I'd die so happy, I wouldn't need anything else in this world.
But, as Mumford and Sons so eloquently put it, "I really f*cked it up this time, didn't I my dear?".
The worst part is that I'm not even sure if you really don't want to see me ever again and I would be dead wrong to try and get in touch anyway, or if I'm just overdramatizing like I'm known to do and you long since stopped caring about that thing that drove us apart. My guess is that you probably don't think about it and about me anymore, but one thing that I'm not sure of is whether it is possible for you to separate me as a person from those things that would make you despise me, or is that all I am from your perspective.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I hate how quiet it is at night. Not a fan of being left alone with my thoughts.