Random thoughts

[ForensicallyAware]

They are proud of how much they can take
They are proud of making it that much harder for the next person

 

[Morphinekiss]

Saturday will be 21 years. I didn't expect to be around for another anniversary honestly, or at least not on this website.

 

[I_love_to_bake]

They are proud of how much they can take
They are proud of making it that much harder for the next person

Dont you envy it, in a way? The ability to be proud? To have no shame?

 

[Lorntroubles]

People must think I'm a mod because when I enter chat, it goes quiet.

That or Lorn bores the crap outta em.

 

[waterbottleman]

Thinking if we had speed dating for us SS'ers, how much of a shit show it would be. Ha ha! I don't want none of y'all crazy asses. I'm crazy myself!

Would be nice in theory to find a fellow SSer lady to cuddle with while we talk about how broken our lives are without judgment from each other.

I'm not boyfriend material or anything nor advertising/looking for that (I'm too messed up to be in a relationship with someone) but I have a pretty decent looking face and I'm a good listener =)

However that won't happen nor would I ever try doing that for a whole host of reasons, but it's a nice thought since you bring it up and this is random thoughts.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

 

[Lorntroubles]

For once, me looking forward to something will not fail. I cannot fail my ctb. It will be what I want and it's gonna go right, motherfuckersss!!!!

 

[throwaway123]

the desperation is only increasing.
i am reminded of this quote:

"The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

― David Foster Wallace

 

[nerve]

Seething with some really ugly jealousy today. Sometimes other people get to feel better or they have somebody to talk about their problems with and I'm finding it really hard to co-exist with that.

All I want is help. People keep saying I deserve it and I can get it if I look hard enough but it hasn't been that easy so far. I wish I still cared or that somebody around me still cared.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

Half the fucktards who rubbish the depressed would not last a week in our shoes

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Being woke is a lonely place to be. I either want to go back to sleep or for all of the (sheep) people around me to wake up!

 

[nerve]

I've got an appointment with my psych doctor today. I want to get off these meds and I'm worried she's going to put up a fight and I'll have to advocate for myself or something. Son of a bitch.

 

[Morphinekiss]

Why did I find her now, when I'm going through the hardest shit in my life? She deserves better than me.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Thoughts are such a powerful thing.

 

[waterbottleman]

My
Life
Sucks

I
Hate
Being
Me

Fuck
This

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I want death or happiness...this empty hopeless void feeling of complete despair is just too much..I wish I could just feel confident and get the inevitable over with.. staying alive is just prolonging my suffering...SI is a bitch

 

[Morphinekiss]

I can feel it in my bones, I'm dying on that operating table.

 

[nerve]

I tried playing an MMO tonight, got too anxious, now I'm crying and panic attacking :( Been doing the solo stuff for weeks and loving it, now I have to do something with actual other players and I don't think I can get through it. It's been a few years since I've tried this so I thought maybe it'd go a little differently this time but it just went worse... I really am just declining, I think. Oh God :(

Im just trying to find a hobby to make circling the drain a little more bearable but my stupid brain won't even let that happen. I feel so much better when I'm sleeping.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I hate life so much...I hate myself so much. I wish I had no family or anyone who cared about me because I would ctb asap...it's coming I'm just delaying the inevitable with false hope.

I tried playing an MMO tonight, got too anxious, now I'm crying and panic attacking :( Been doing the solo stuff for weeks and loving it, now I have to do something with actual other players and I don't think I can get through it. It's been a few years since I've tried this so I thought maybe it'd go a little differently this time but it just went worse... I really am just declining, I think. Oh God :(

Im just trying to find a hobby to make circling the drain a little more bearable but my stupid brain won't even let that happen. I feel so much better when I'm sleeping.

Gosh I relate..I recently tried an mmo I used to love years ago and couldn't complete the group stuff or anything with other players because if my anxiety. I know how you must feel I'm in the same spot desperately trying to occupy my time but nothing interests me and I'm to anxious so sleeping and reading here is all I do. Maybe you could try a single player game like Skyrim if you enjoyed the solo content of the mmo? I tried but I can't seem to enjoy anything anymore. Hugs

 

[Voy]

What am I even doing

 

[KleinerWolf]

Funny how focusing on the problem doesn't always help you solve it.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

Some people's lives are simply unliveable

 

[nerve]

Time for another day :(

 

[XYZ]

I don't want to wake up to face another day. It's that simple. And that hard.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

It's always annoying when you try to get something out of a vending machine only for it to get stuck on the last row.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

Only the heartless , smug, cruel and evil will survive.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Fuck life I hate living when can I just give up!?? Why why why can't I just die already... seriously I want to stop trying...I keep trying and failing and I'm so stupid because I just keep trying.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

nobody is truly kind. nobody ever does things for other people because they care about them from the bottom of their heart. they're either kind to get what they want, or they're kind to pat themselves on the back for being a good person.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy

 

[woxihuanni]

I wonder if AF might drop dead today.