Why I'm seeing this clearly? That everything inside this body is just working under biochemistry and thermodynamics. Feeling, mental illnesses and everything else are nothing but materials and energy/heat
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
Things aren't good right now. Actually they're pretty bad but I hold it in. Always holding it in. Pretty pathetic. Self pity is the worst.
Stan
Factoid Hunter
- Aug 29, 2019
- 2,589
Lethe
Fey
- Sep 19, 2019
- 670
Today took entirely too long and I smell like hospital. Better get used to it.
UninformedLover
If you see me active on here...its gotten worse...
- Nov 12, 2019
- 265
Often times I wonder how my life would be if I had a mom who treated me with respect and didn't abuse me. I day dream about it quite often and it only makes me sadder.
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
I'm so pissed off. My CPN got me another CPN! Not to replace her, but to help her! Jesus Christ! One, who does their job properly will do! Fucking annoyed.
Monster
Member
- Apr 26, 2019
- 77
Fucking hate certain people who are always online and chatting. I really needed another place where sucky people are always talking /s. Now I have absolutely nowhere I can chill. Can't wait until they leave, or better yet I die, but that shit ain't happening any time soon. So great... /s
This has been a long time coming. I wish I had ctb years ago at age 14. I can't believe I fell for the "it gets better" lie. Abuse, trauma, chronic pain, mental issues, health issues, now debt.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
I just noticed that my mother is the biggest fucking piece of shit on this fucking planet and I say that knowing the rest of my family is also a bunch of psychopaths. She is the worst. I used to think my father is bad but then I realized how much worse she is.
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
Why when things fall over on the conveyor belt of a shop, do people stand them back up in the exact same position?!
I wish I never took that job as a package handler. I fucked up my back last January and now I'm disgusted with myself that I worked my body off for basically nothing and now I''m dreading that I'll never be without backpain. Almost 11 months worth of pain and for fucking what? I did what I was supposed to do as an adult, but now I feel even more like a child than ever before. I hate working but now I'm just as unemployabe and my options even more limited to shit jobs that I'll never like, all the more reason to die I suppose. I know now to never listen to another adult cause it only ends with me being in an even worse situation. Well besides maybe my mother but then again she's the one who told me about the damn job in the first place. I hate that I'm complaining, but all fucking well. Wonderful.
Can I just be done? I quit. This is my white flag.
Woodnote
Goodbye
- Oct 23, 2019
- 277
A stranger told me I have very pretty eyes. It honestly made my day. I started my day in a bad place but ended it smiling. I said thank you but I got nervous and couldn't get myself to say more. I wish I could tell them how much that meant to me.
noctiva
the invisible girl
- Nov 6, 2019
- 393
I'm scared of tomorrow, it will be the end of me I fear.
I sit and stare at the sn. I just want to get this over with. I can't fucking believe I had the perfect opportunity to ctb but I didn't. Now he left me and I had to go back to damn families house. He was the one who needed to find me...to finally see what he drove me to in the end.
Sleeping can be fun sometimes but waking up is bad. You get reminded of life when you wake up. I wish I can sleep forever.
TearyEyedQueen
In the wrong timeline
- Nov 14, 2019
- 366
"Being Meguca is suffering" got me through more than any of the official pro life platitudes ever did.
Woodnote
Goodbye
- Oct 23, 2019
- 277
Today at work I trained a new girl. I'm a housekeeper at a hotel. Once in a while we get tips. In our first room someone left a small tip. I let her keep it. She was saying she was thirsty so I thought she could use it to get something to drink. Then later in the day someone left a $20 tip and this girl swiped it and put it in her pocket thinking I wasn't looking. I'm sad... It seems like every time I try to have faith in people they let me down.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
I shouldn't let myself suffer like this.
thatguyakira123
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2018
- 217
Since my lack of getting/keeping a job is getting in my way, I have the urge to steal things. I don't however cuz I know I'll get caught but the urge is there.
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
Wanna blow my brains out. Too many thoughts going on right now.
cherub
Fvcking Loser
- Jan 27, 2019
- 147
Always felt like an imposter in some way or another. I don't feel like a 21 year old woman. I feel like a child impersonating an adult. It's fucking embarrassing. I don't remember the last time I've gone longer than an hour not feeling embarrassed to exist either. The embarrassment alone is enough to make want to die.
I think we need to research and invent ctb methods more. I think many people need methods even if they choose to live, they need a backup if things went wrong. By limiting the options and not discovering more ways , more suffering will happen.
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