Questions I need to answer before I CTB
1. Do I try to make it look like an accident or leave no doubt it was suicide? If I leave no doubt, there will be no insurance payout. Even though they hurt me, I know it will severely impact my wife and kids in a permanent way if there is no insurance money (I was the sole breadwinner).
2. Do I leave notes, and to whom? I am still struggling with leaving notes for the person that hurt me. I feel like my friend and mother deserve a note. They tried to help with what happened. If I try to make it look like an accident, the notes will have to be delivered by a time-delayed email with an account I do not usually use (investigations would uncover the email). My adult kids went along with my wife, but I don't hold it against them. She can be very manipulative. I don't even hold it against my wife - she has several physical issues and some previous pre-married family trauma that triggered this whole incident. Neither my wife or kids will even take my calls or respond to text messages. I honestly do not know how they feel. My son sent me a good night dad the first night after they left, but nothing since then. I've sent numerous "love you" and "miss you" texts, but no response.
3. Do I do it at home or go somewhere and do it in a tent or car? I don't want to create problems for my neighbors when first responders show up. I also want my wife to be able to sell the house and get the equity. It's difficult to sell a house when someone died in it. I have all the equipment. I did a test run last week to a campsite about two hours from home.
Sorry if this is not allowed. I just needed to talk it out and obviously I can't talk to family about it.
1. Do I try to make it look like an accident or leave no doubt it was suicide? If I leave no doubt, there will be no insurance payout. Even though they hurt me, I know it will severely impact my wife and kids in a permanent way if there is no insurance money (I was the sole breadwinner).
2. Do I leave notes, and to whom? I am still struggling with leaving notes for the person that hurt me. I feel like my friend and mother deserve a note. They tried to help with what happened. If I try to make it look like an accident, the notes will have to be delivered by a time-delayed email with an account I do not usually use (investigations would uncover the email). My adult kids went along with my wife, but I don't hold it against them. She can be very manipulative. I don't even hold it against my wife - she has several physical issues and some previous pre-married family trauma that triggered this whole incident. Neither my wife or kids will even take my calls or respond to text messages. I honestly do not know how they feel. My son sent me a good night dad the first night after they left, but nothing since then. I've sent numerous "love you" and "miss you" texts, but no response.
3. Do I do it at home or go somewhere and do it in a tent or car? I don't want to create problems for my neighbors when first responders show up. I also want my wife to be able to sell the house and get the equity. It's difficult to sell a house when someone died in it. I have all the equipment. I did a test run last week to a campsite about two hours from home.
Sorry if this is not allowed. I just needed to talk it out and obviously I can't talk to family about it.
