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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
14,568
I'm neither poor nor rich. Having some inheritance money enabled me to pursue the education and career I wanted. Without that buffer, I doubt I would have risked attempting a creative career. So- money has been crucial to me as a foundation.

However, I live more or less hand to mouth now. So- the pressure to always have work and to get by financially is a constant stress and I'm just tired of it. Plus- I'm freelance so will have next to no pension. No sick pay too. So, it's also the prospect of a penniless retirement or more likely- never being able to retire that is a troubling prospect.

So- money isn't an immediate problem in terms of the risk of destitution. But, it's a problem in as much as I hate being such a slave to it. I suppose winning the lottery would take the pressure off. I'm not sure it would be the end of my problems though. Life would feel more relaxed certainly. But, I wonder if I'd ever really feel that excited about living. Even with money. Plus, you can't exactly buy off illness always.
 
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Reactions: X-sanguinate86
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angrybakunawa

Member
Nov 21, 2025
38
Its the reason why I'm here. I am drowning in so much debt that even bankruptcy can't even help me. If money weren't an issue I definitely think I'll be in a much more better place mentally. But I feel hopeless. Even trying to resource stuff to use to ctb is difficult because I cannot afford it. I just want to fucking die and end it all. I don't sleep anymore and every day is torture. Life is so unfair. I made bad decisions in life but I don't deserve this. Or maybe I do.
 

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