Discussion Pro’s and Con’s of Suicide Notes and should I write one?

[madjin]

I might write a Suicide note but I don't think it's worth it. I've always been a Pretty Worthless person in Life, I doubt that'd change in Death. What value could my words have? Will they bring positive change?

Idk, this might be another exercise in frustration and open another can of worms I don't need especially If I write this on my CTB day, A day I intend to be Peaceful and Reflective.

Then again, It feels cruel to leave them without any word of my own on why I did this and What they were at fault for and how they can avoid that in the future…But you also need to Care to make all that change, And if they don't care….Well it's all for naught.

I intent to talk to a friend I haven't talked to in a Long time because of my shame, Maybe call my favorite uncle, Recommend a 'Final' song to the only girl that's ever given me some sexual intimacy.

God I'm in so much pain, I just want it to end. Why did you do this to me, God? Why did you hurt me so so much When all I wanted was your Love. Why did you make me a Worthless, feckless piece of Human Garbage?

 

[abstractcat7]

I don't feel right not leaving a note of some kind either. Though "a note" is kind of hard for me to figure out how to approach. I'm in a lot of pain too, full of anger, regret, misery, guilt, and shame. I've been mistreated a lot, had my feelings and suffering completely diminished to my face. I don't really have anybody anymore. I know some people and have very loose connections with the, but I can go weeks or months without speaking a single word to them. They aren't interested in me or my company. They think my suffering is invalid and a choice.

I write down my frustrations and grievances. I write down a lot of things that make me angry, or sad, or frustrated, or feel despair. I write down the things I can't or shouldn't say. I write down the things nobody has or will listen to me about. I write down what I hope people will do differently to others than they did to me. I write down the things I loved and the things I hated, sometimes the things I am or was grateful for. I write down the pain I feel and suffering I experience because maybe someone will read it once I'm gone and they will realize what they did or didn't do. I hate human beings, but I don't like human suffering. Maybe my death and the notes I leave could help some other humans be better to others and maybe those things could shake the foundations of some of their beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes. Maybe they could realize how those things affect others because a lot of people cannot realize things until something huge and drastic happens.

If none of that matters, none of it works, and it has no effect, it doesn't even matter. It gives me peace of mind to do it and think about it, and I'm going to CTB eventually anyway regardless of whether my death means anything or not.