Pre-attempt thoughts thread (attempt date oct 1)

[grey.skye]

I imagine the kind of apathy is your body's way to protect itself from feeling the fear and overwhelm of the decision. Glad you took some time to chat with your mum. Mine is probably the most important person for me to make sure I say goodbye to.

Just know there's no shame if you catch the (literal) bus home tonight, it just means it wasn't your time to go. Maybe you have some more art to make? I think it's a sign of strength and courage, not weakness, to be willing to change your mind about something. I'll be saying a prayer for you

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I'm pro-choice, but feel uncomfortable when 18-19 year old teenagers ctb.

It's ultimately your choice. People sometimes survive rail suicides. I'm not trying to scare you or make what is potentially your last day more difficult. From wikipedia:

"Approximately 10–30%, depending on the method chosen, of those who attempt rail suicide survive the collision."

"Survivors often suffer severed limbs,[47] brain damage and chronic pain."

The worst thing is to attempt and end up in a state where you can't easily attempt again and are in pain. I hope that this does not happen to you if you try this way. I'm so sorry life has been so hard. I think a 20 percent chance of surving in a very disabled state is a very high risk when the negative consequences are so high.
I am not trying to encourage any method for someone so young, but there are other ways that, if survived, are less likely to lead to permanent painful damage.

I'm so sorry things have been so difficult and hope that somehow your suffering becomes lessened, preferrably without taking such a big risk.

 

[jakerjays]

I'm pro-choice, but feel uncomfortable when 18-19 year old teenagers ctb.

It's ultimately your choice. People sometimes survive rail suicides. I'm not trying to scare you or make what is potentially your last day more difficult. From wikipedia:

"Approximately 10–30%, depending on the method chosen, of those who attempt rail suicide survive the collision."

"Survivors often suffer severed limbs,[47] brain damage and chronic pain."

The worst thing is to attempt and end up in a state where you can't easily attempt again and are in pain. I hope that this does not happen to you if you try this way. I'm so sorry life has been so hard. I think a 20 percent chance of surving in a very disabled state is a very high risk when the negative consequences are so high.
I am not trying to encourage any method for someone so young, but there are other ways that, if survived, are less likely to lead to permanent painful damage.

I'm so sorry things have been so difficult and hope that somehow your suffering becomes lessened, preferrably without taking such a big risk.

I know people survive, I don't care

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I know people survive, I don't care

Okay, I understand. Thank you for replying.

 

[jakerjays]

Okay, I understand. Thank you for replying.

Sorry for being harsh . I really appreciate your care but have been warned wbout survival likelihood many times. Im willing to take the risk wholeheartedly sorry im o

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Sorry for being harsh . I really appreciate your care but have been warned wbout survival likelihood many times. Im willing to take the risk wholeheartedly sorry im o

It's okay, it's not harsh. I just wish I could change your mind, despite being pro-choice and suicidal myself. It doesn't seem like clear-headed thinking to take a risk like that and it could be your thinking is impacted by mental health stuff and you aren't appreciating the risk. Or maybe you completely know and are fully aware. To me, given that there are such big risks of survival, the risk of giving PTSD to the conductor, and there are other ways that are just as lethal and don't involve these risks, it seems possibly an irrational way to end things, which makes me wonder if this is a clear-headed choice or a choice you are not making rationally. I'm pro-choice but this also involves risks to others. I wish you would reconsider, at least the method. I also understand severe depression and wanting to end things. But this is almost certainly something I can't stop. It was nice to interact with you briefly.