This is kind of my thinking right now. I've been imagining what I'd do if I wanted to CTB in a calm way. I'd probably start by cleaning my room really well and keeping it that way. I'd stay home for a few days, keep my space nice, watch a bunch of movies, hang out with friends, spend time with my mom and just try to enjoy those last few days instead of stressing.
I'd also start to give away certain things I know my friends would cherish and use. I'd have to also pick up a lot of shifts for a few months so I can leave my family with some money.
When the time came, I'd want everything set up so I didn't have to think too much. I'd be in my room, door locked, music playing, lying in bed, with a note ready. The idea is to not be fully in my head, not alone with my thoughts. I'd want it to feel like drifting into a nap rather than spiraling mentally. So in order to do that I feel like I'd take a few mg of edibles or take Xanax, let the high kick in and then ingest SN
I'm unsure about whether taking something beforehand would mess things up or help numb me. I don't want to be drunk or out of control, just not completely sober and stuck in my thoughts. I'm still thinking it through, and I know it's not foolproof. I'm mostly just trying to understand whether that idea even makes sense or if it's stupid to mix anything at all.
I'd also start to give away certain things I know my friends would cherish and use. I'd have to also pick up a lot of shifts for a few months so I can leave my family with some money.
When the time came, I'd want everything set up so I didn't have to think too much. I'd be in my room, door locked, music playing, lying in bed, with a note ready. The idea is to not be fully in my head, not alone with my thoughts. I'd want it to feel like drifting into a nap rather than spiraling mentally. So in order to do that I feel like I'd take a few mg of edibles or take Xanax, let the high kick in and then ingest SN
I'm unsure about whether taking something beforehand would mess things up or help numb me. I don't want to be drunk or out of control, just not completely sober and stuck in my thoughts. I'm still thinking it through, and I know it's not foolproof. I'm mostly just trying to understand whether that idea even makes sense or if it's stupid to mix anything at all.
