Venting Planned to CTB today but lost motivation

[nucleosidal]

I had everything all set up for CO method in my car, my car is already sealed up all I had to do was fire up the coals. The plan for weeks was to do it today but Ive been feeling off/zombified all day from the effects of new medication and simply do not feel like making the effort to burn the coals and wait the time needed for everything to burn through. Anyone else deal with something like that? Im not second guessing Im just lethargic and a bit dizzy and Im pretty disappointed now. I think its ironic I didnt feel well enough to ctb. Hopefully another day soon Ill feel up to it since the co method needs some active work to do successfully and I dont want to fail.

 

[peachxgirl]

Yes all the time, literally the reason why I haven't killed myself yet. I am on all sorts of antidepressants, anti anxiety, and mood stabilizers, and they make me feel exactly like that. If the medication is a suppressant or have the effects of it, thats what you're gonna feel. It makes you feel meh regardless of how drastic the situation is.

 

[SadShroomie]

It simply means now wasnt your time, you will know when the time is right. It's definitely better you didn't commit today, simply because in your lethargic state you could've easily messed up, it's an easy method to mess up if you don't let the coals burn through to white before getting in the car, etc (I'm sure you already know)

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Ive been feeling off/zombified all day from the effects of new medication and simply do not feel like making the effort to burn the coals and wait the time needed for everything to burn through.

What kind of medication? Why do you take them? Why do you actually want to CTB?

Don't feel disappointed. And yes the CO method must be planned thoroughly to avoid failures and you should neither be drunk or numbed by meds when attempting this way. I hope you find peace.

 

[nucleosidal]

What kind of medication? Why do you take them? Why do you actually want to CTB?

Don't feel disappointed. And yes the CO method must be planned thoroughly to avoid failures and you should neither be drunk or numbed by meds when attempting this way. I hope you find peace.

started taking rexulti for depression, the usual new medicine side effects were hitting me yesterday but today I feel confident in my ability to attempt the full process to ctb and be done with this cancer. if not ill be back here eventually to update what went wrong.